In my two lifetimes, the two things I regret most are drinking that Coke with the floating lid and letting my guard down so that idiot Hero touched my horn.

Damn it, this time I’ve made a huge fool of myself!

Worst of all, with zero warning, I was suddenly forced into a pee-holding situation.

This first bathroom mission was brutal. Leaning against the big mirror, I gulped the air—oxygen felt amazing.

Mmm, the breeze is nice! Huh? Wind?

The bathroom window was wide open. A gentle gust swirled in and out.

No security bars. Right—this is another world, not a prison.

I peered out the window, smoothed my wind-tousled hair, and looked down.

This was the side of the huge building. Almost empty, just occasional guards patrolling.

“Ready yet?” The Hero knocked. I shot back, “It’s not that fast! Still… need a moment.”

If I could escape this cage, even briefly, I’d regain my strength. Then remove this damn seal collar. The Dark Lord would return!

Alright, plan set.

A platform sat below, about three stories down. My Dark Lord physique’s power was sealed, but my body strength remained. Jumping down should work—if I ignored my fear of heights.

Guards patrolled the edges, but couldn’t see all platform corners. It was elevated.

Each guard vanished for twenty seconds before the next appeared. Not foolproof.

I flipped a basin upside down, stood on it—still too short. Why is this body so tiny? Escape-proof!

I stuffed towels from the cabinet on top. Using my old troublemaker skills, I climbed the sill and hid behind the window.

The guard turned the corner. Perfect—now!

I shoved the half-open window, jumped, and clamped my skirt—trusting Newton. Knees bent on landing. Only a soft *click* from my boots.

Seven seconds gone. Ten more, with three spare. I dashed to the platform’s shadowy corner.

Then…

“H-Hero-sama, morning! I’ve got stuff… I was wrong.” His aura scared me into backing down.

Where’d he come from? He’d jumped down from above.

The Hero struck an edgy pose, flicking his bangs. “Lucky I planted a familiar on you. I know everything you do. Or you, Dark Lord, would’ve escaped!”

This plot’s too realistic! No twists? He even said he knows *everything*?

My bathroom time… too much! “You hentai! You actually spied on me?”

My flaring anger and instinctive tears broke him. He waved frantically, guilty. “No way! My Battle Aura familiar only tracks location… no spying!”

I snorted, ignoring him. He reached to pat my head—I glared. He flinched, yanking his hand back. “I’m stopping, okay?”

A tiny light orb floated from my back into him.

“Trouble—someone’s coming.” He glanced at me. “Sorry.”

“Hey, what—?” My legs buckled. The world spun. Before I knew it, he’d swept me into a princess carry. He leaped three stories, flipped through the window, and strode toward the room.

“So what if we’re caught?”

“No. They already dislike me keeping you here. If found, you’d go to the dungeon.” He checked the window—calm. He sighed in relief.

“Put me down!” I barked at the Hero. This position screamed *not* in control.

“Huh? Uncomfortable?” He looked shocked.

“Huh my ass! When did we get cozy enough for this? I’m the Dark Lord! This is…” He didn’t flinch. My resistance failed. I switched tactics, acting shy. “Uncle, I don’t mind, but it’s three years minimum—up to death penalty.”

Mew! His face actually turned green. He stammered, “You’re really… underage?”

“I died and transmigrated.” I yawned. “Dark Lords are born. By body age, I’m days old. What—into little girls? Scumbag. And as a guy in this girl body, a princess carry is embarrassing. Imagine a muscle-bound guy carrying *you* like this.”

He shuddered, set me down, and went dazed. Did that hit too hard?

Solid ground felt safe. “Hey, you okay?” Roles reversed? I, the prisoner, felt sorry for *him*.

Whatever. I fixed my messy skirt. Damn skirts. My bare arms and legs had been touched—slightly gross. But I’m not like those gender-bent novels with androphobia.

How could I hate my former self?

“Hey!” I kicked his shin. Hiss! So hard. “Turn off your protective Battle Aura, idiot! Stop being a slacker. You’re the Hero—the world’s Hero. We’ll deal often. Get used to it!”

Why’s it worse? Am I bad at comforting? Inherited Qiqi’s sharp tongue. Whatever.

“Kidding. Get up, or the evil Dark Lord escapes!”

“Don’t run!” He sprang up, energized.

“You’re hopeless!” I glared. “Got any boys’ clothes?”