"How can a pretty girl wear boys' clothes? Lolita is the bottom line!" He looked perfectly reasonable, waving his index finger at me smugly.

"You!" It’s like a scholar arguing with a soldier—no point reasoning with this Hero, who’s basically a big-spending whale. What could a weakling like me do?

If anything, it’d be selling my integrity.

"*Sniffle…*"

"Well, it’s not entirely impossible…"

Hope! As expected, he’s still scared of this.

"*Sob~ Sob~*"

"Do you have to say it out loud?!" He slapped his forehead. "At least consider your figure."

"What’s wrong with it? It’s great—I’m a pretty girl." I twirled around, then suddenly realized how girlish that was and quickly composed myself.

"Don’t you think you’re too petite?" He took off his coat and draped it over me as he bent down. The long mountaineering jacket hung like a cape, reaching my skirt hem. If the top was this oversized, the pants would be impossible. I slipped my hands into the sleeves—my fingertips didn’t even show.

Rolling the sleeves up slightly, I buttoned the collar. "I’m requisitioning this coat."

"This…"

"Unhappy?"

"A loli in such baggy clothes just looks adorably silly."

"You’re the silly one!" I kicked his calf again with a flying kick. "So hard…"

"You didn’t even deny being cute."

"I’ll cute you to death!" I added what he wanted to hear. "Are you a sub? Do you enjoy being yelled at?"

"How could I be a sub? I’m the world-famous—uh—Hero!"

"...He-ro. What’s your name?" I rolled my eyes.

He opened his mouth, hesitated, then cleared his throat. "Haven’t you noticed you can’t say your original name here?"

Impossible? I tried to speak my name—but the first sound cut off, leaving me mute and ridiculous. Only one character popped into my head: "Yu."

Why did this character feel sayable?

"Yu…"

"What?"

"There’s a ‘Yu’ in my name," I said, rolling my eyes. "So… I need a new name, huh."

"Ahem. Remember this well: the greatest Hero of this world, the one who defeated you, is—"

Here it comes—the peak chuunibyou opener! He definitely rehearsed it.

"Mordred•Kyouta•Lancelot•Pan—"

"Stop!!!" I snapped. "This’ll never end. Delete the rest—just keep Kyouta. No, too ugly. Keep Lott."

"*Whine~* I worked so hard on it."

"Don’t act pitiful!"

"Then… Mordred•Lott."

"Why Mordred? It sounds like a villain."

"Nonsense! It’s the first Hero’s name—all Heroes take it as their surname." He puffed his chest proudly. Though, I recall Dark Lords have similar rules.

"What about your name, evil Dark Lord?"

"Turn off your chuunibyou mode first!" I kneed his thigh. "This King… this King…" Damn, naming disability syndrome! I racked my brains. "I am Merlin the Eighteenth—I need no vulgar name."

"You just can’t think of one."

Caught…

"I grant you a chance to devise a good name for me." Oops, chuunibyou mode activated—but it’s imposing!

Forget it. Switch back to normal. My chuunibyou should’ve… maybe it’s latent now.

"Tachibana Kanade?" "Do you think I haven’t seen *Angel Beats*?!"

"Illya?" "No anime names! Original—Chinese-style!"

"Hmm… tricky. You said the ‘Yu’ in your name works—the ‘Yu’ from ‘universe’?"

"Mhm!" I nodded eagerly.

"Chinese-style needs a Chinese surname. But you’re ‘Merlin’—problematic. How about… Yugong Yu?" He looked at me hopefully.

"Yugong feels so weird…" I glanced at the Clock on the wall. "Change it."

"Helian? Helian Yu?"

"Acceptable." I reconsidered: a Dark Lord named by a Hero? Too humiliating. I’m buying time to recover power outside the cage, but… I can’t submit this much. "Forget it. I’ll name myself: He Yu."

"Just changing one character?"

"No—deleting one. Original now, hmpf!" I eyed him sideways. He wasn’t rushing—probably forgot I’ve been out of the cage for ages.

Plus, the situation’s weird: a NEET Hero pinned by an imprisoned Dark Lord’s aura. Must be my royal dignity as the Overdeity’s big (dead) son overpowering his loser vibe.

Still, I need an escape plan. Locked here with no clear danger, a possibly traitorous Hero… but unease lingers. Worst part? He’s clueless—head full of storybook nonsense, believing every word.

"Um… great Dark Lord, He Yu•Merlin," he stammered.

Not bad.

"Could you… return to the cage? You’ve been out too long—I fear something unexpected."

"No!" I shook my head and pouted. *Let’s see if you dare stuff me in first.* Initiative’s mine now. NEETs never bully cute girls—it’d tank favorability and ruin romance chances. Though his "fellow countryman" favor’s nearly gone. And how could *I* be romanced by a guy? Ridiculous.

"But if they find out, we’re doomed." The Hero casually planted a flag—I didn’t even react.

"Aren’t we alone?" I plopped onto his soft, fluffy bed and ignored him. *Flatter me now—I’ll hire you as butler when I’m rich.*

"Someone’s coming—get in!" He lowered his voice suddenly.

"Really?" All your fault for jinxing it!

"Really. I’m an alpaca if I’m lying."

"*Pfft!*" Funny comparison. I’ll trust you—this once. If no one’s there, I’ll kill you. Ugh, crawling in obediently feels so integrity-dropping.

Just as I sat in the cage, *bang bang bang*—knocks echoed on the door.

"In there?"

An extremely familiar voice.