A little after eight in the morning, the university campus was steeped in a strange, youthful hormonal atmosphere.

A little hazy. A little eerie. And even a little… savage.

That was my immediate impression as I walked along the tree-lined campus road in my Rem cosplay. The early-rising students’ gazes all converged on me.

Strictly speaking, this outfit didn’t reveal much.

Only about a fifth of the giant rabbit on the chest was exposed. So were part of my arms below the shoulders, and the absolute territory of my thighs between the skirt and thigh-high stockings.

If you really had to point something out, the upper half of my chest might stir up some young perverts. But compared with slip dresses and princess dresses, this was already much better.

Even the maid dress’s shoulders and collarbones were covered by the ornament around my neck. Overall, it leaned more toward “gorgeous” than “sexy.”

Since it was Sunday, not many students were awake and out of their dorms by eight or nine. Most of them were morning-exercise enthusiasts and foodies.

The cafeteria’s delicious breakfasts could only be bought by getting up early.

Besides them, some clubs that scheduled activities in the morning also appeared around this time. The English Association, for example.

I walked along the cobblestone path in my little maid shoes and glanced at the group gathered not far behind me. They were holding English books and reading aloud.

And not everyone who got up early was what people called a “good student.”

Near the school gate, I saw several groups of young men walking in from outside. Their eye bags were swollen, and their faces looked utterly haggard.

“Is that the famous Rem girl everyone’s been talking about lately? That Xiaoxue?”

“Holy crap, she really is that pretty? I thought the pictures had been photoshopped.”

“Those legs… I’m in love.”

“Keep your voice down…”

Even after I had walked far past them, I could still hear their whispers.

“Isn’t she Tingxue? Class Two, Software Engineering.”

“What Tingxue? That character is pronounced Xin. It sounds the same as the ‘xin’ in ‘appreciation.’ Do any of you have a shred of culture?”

“Hahaha… How about we all chip in and hire her to go to an internet café with us sometime?”

“Forget it. Renting a girlfriend in real life is expensive. Why not hire a cute gaming companion instead? It’s only twenty yuan an hour…”

There were countless internet cafés around Xiangcao City Vocational School.

And these students were the “internet-addicted youths” who had just returned from an all-nighter.

University students were the only group left that could still enjoy a proper two-day weekend. Every Saturday, even if they had computers in their dorms, they still went out in droves.

They’d gather all their buddies and charge into an internet café, playing from morning until night, then from night until dawn.

When they got hungry, they ordered takeout. When they grew tired of gaming at night, they went to the barbecue stall downstairs and ordered a whole table of food.

They’d buy a few bottles of beer, chat, brag, and keep going until daybreak. Only then would they stagger back to school, drunk and barely conscious, and sleep.

“Hmm… I need to speed up the little cabin’s construction. I can’t keep taking other people’s clothes for free.”

Under the astonished gazes of ordinary office workers nearby, I left the campus and arrived at the bus stop.

“I also need to practice voice imitation and singing. If I get another job like Wang Lei’s, using an ordinary girlish voice to play a mature woman just feels wrong…”

While waiting for the bus, I took out my phone and searched for “voice imitation tutorials.”

For girls, practicing a loli voice was actually pretty easy. As long as you weren’t born with a tomboyish voice, most people could manage it.

Just raise your pitch and make your tone a little more innocent and childish. That was usually enough.

A voice like that could fool inexperienced young virgins. Most female streamers on live-streaming platforms did exactly this.

Sure, that kind of “fake voice” or “loli bubble voice” couldn’t fool veterans.

But… who cared?

This world would never run out of boys experiencing live streaming for the first time, or girls for the first time.

The post-2000 generation grew old, grew up, and saw through fake voices. Once they started families and careers, they gradually stopped watching streams.

They stopped liking and tipping fake-voice streamers.

But then the post-2010 generation would take their place, wouldn’t they?

Even if the post-2010 kids got tired of it, the post-2020 generation would eventually grow up and get phones.

When they first encountered the internet, live streaming, and adorable fake-voice streamers, they’d still say, “Wow, this streamer is so cute!” Then they’d send a tip.

Those streamers and gaming companions made their money from these new users.

“As for the loli voice… let me think.”

I took a pair of ten-yuan earphones from my bag. I’d bought them casually at Oriental Sports Center on my way back yesterday.

After plugging them in, I opened a video I’d saved and downloaded a few days ago: *I Really Want to Be Insulted by Kugimiya*.

“Pervert!”

At the bus stop, I tried to imitate the tone from the video.

No. It didn’t have enough bite.

“Pervert!”

Yeah, that felt closer. But my voice still wasn’t quite childish enough.

Come to think of it, this was a little embarrassing…

I glanced around at several ordinary office workers waiting for the bus. They’d been drawn over by my voice and outfit, and their eyes were wide open.

Well, I’d be stared at even if I weren’t practicing a fake voice here. As long as I stayed calm, they’d be the embarrassed ones.

I’d just pretend I was on the phone.

“Are you a pervert? You’re making your girlfriend wear a maid outfit on a date?”

I pinched the nonexistent “recording device” on my ten-yuan earphones.

“Do you otaku all have this kind of weird hobby?”

“Someone like you is a pervert! A pervert! A huge pervert! Got it?!”

“Are you stupid? I’m insulting you right now! Didn’t you hear me? What are you so pleased about?”

Waaah… Why was this still so embarrassing?

But practicing fake voices in the dorm was even worse. Those girls lived for chaos. Practicing in front of them was impossible.

I’d rather turn down several jobs and run to some deserted grove on campus to talk to myself.

“…”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that several of the office workers had even taken out their phones and begun secretly recording me.

Great… Were they going to stir up another scandal?

“Pervert.”

“No need to explain. You’re just a pervert who hides behind a phone and wriggles around like a maggot.”

Soon, the announcement “The vehicle is arriving. Please hold on and remain seated” sounded.

The bus I’d been waiting for had arrived.

Fortunately, the capitalists of the Skyflame Nation hadn’t chopped away Sunday, the final day of rest. The morning rush wasn’t too crowded.

Otherwise, I might’ve had to consider taking a taxi or the subway.

According to Liang Zhiming’s request, we were going to a place called Shenbin Forest Park in Canjing District.

Canjing District was the northernmost district of Xiangcao City. It was probably the place I knew least.

But I was familiar with the words “Shenbin Forest.”

The Shenbin River was Xiangcao City’s longest river. It ran from its estuary in Nan’na District through the entire Shuiming District and Canjing District.

Then, in Craftsman District, it split into a huge branch that ran deep into Dadong District.

Not long ago, “I” had climbed alone onto a bridge in Central District that crossed the Shenbin River.

Then I’d jumped off it.

According to my hazy memories, after sinking to the riverbed, I seemed to have touched something.

I’d also heard a strange voice.

But after waking up, no matter how hard I tried to remember it, I couldn’t recall what that voice had been.

“Is there a comic convention today?”

“Is there? I didn’t notice. Working overtime lately has made me want to die.”

“Girls these days are developing better and better…”

After boarding the bus, I found a random place to stand and continued studying the “loli tone” from the video.

Going from our school to Shenbin Forest Park by subway required at least one transfer. The subway also took a long detour.

There was a direct bus route, and the total travel time was about the same. That was why I chose the bus.

After replaying the video several times and simulating myself speaking countless times in my head, I gained a rough understanding of the “Kugimiya tsundere loli” voice familiar to every anime otaku.

Then I exited the Kugimiya video and typed “Green Hag” into the search bar.

I hit search and sorted the results by view count, from highest to lowest.

“Stop it! If you do that again, I’ll really get mad! Hmph.”

“I’m obviously a cute little bunny…”

Hmm. This was a loli voice from our own country. I might as well practice it a little, too.

“…”

Half an hour later, I stepped off the bus in my little maid shoes. My head was dizzy from watching too many “loli voice” videos.

Life was hard. Xiaoxue sighed.

Under a large banyan tree by the roadside, I took a deep breath. Then I took out my phone again and opened the Rem meme videos from earlier.

I listened to them over and over, brainwashing myself into “girl mode.” Only then did I remove my earphones and close the video app.

“I’m at the bus stop over here.”

Under the banyan tree, I stood in the standard maid pose, toes turned inward, and sent Liang Zhiming a message.

The time displayed on my phone was 8:35 in the morning.

“That early? Wait for me. I’ll be there in about five minutes.”

Not long afterward, Liang Zhiming replied. He also sent a “sorry” emoji.

“It’s okay.”

I quickly went online and found an Emilia meme that said, *You need to enjoy the process.jpg*. I pasted it into the chat, then replied:

“Then Xiaoxue will wait for Brother Zhiming under the banyan tree by the Shenbin Forest Park bus stop, okay?”

“Mm-hmm. I’m really sorry. I’ll be there soon.”

A moment later, Liang Zhiming got out of a taxi.

He was wearing Natsuki Subaru’s jacket, casual pants, and casual shoes from *Re:ZERO*.

“Plop, plop.”

Perhaps sensing the taxi engine’s vibrations, several fully ripened banyan fruits rolled down from the branches above my head.

They landed on the concrete a short distance in front of me.

Some splashed into puddles. Others broke into several pieces, revealing their fresh, tender flesh.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…”

The moment Liang Zhiming got out and saw me, a trace of amazement appeared in his eyes.

“I’m late. Please punish me, Your Majesty!”

“Xiaoxue isn’t Brother Zhiming’s queen…”

I smiled.

“Your new outfit looks really sharp!”

What Liang Zhiming was wearing was the same casual outfit the male protagonist in *Re:ZERO* wore before crossing over.

They were both cosplay outfits, but I had to admit…

This one was kind of cheating.

You could call it autumn casual wear, or you could call it cosplay. Either way, he could wear it out without being treated like some weirdo and stared at.

And when he stood beside a Rem cosplayer, it could even pass as a couples’ outfit.

“Th-thank you…”

Liang Zhiming looked a little embarrassed by my praise.

“It’s only eight-thirty. You… you don’t have to get into character yet.”

“Hm?”

I tilted my head.

“Does Brother Zhiming not like it?”

“No, no. It’s not that I don’t like it. I really like you. It’s just…”

Liang Zhiming avoided my gaze.

“What I mean is… I only paid for your time from nine in the morning until the evening hotel visit. Seeing you like this… I feel as if I’m taking advantage of you.”

Honestly, was this guy too “straight,” or just too rigid?

Although I was already complaining about him internally, I kept the smile on my face.

Then I walked over to him and took the initiative to link my arm through his.

“If Brother Zhiming feels like he’s taking advantage of Xiaoxue…”

I looked up at him with a smile.

“Then how about Brother Zhiming treats Xiaoxue to breakfast?”