"Reporting to the Chief: Xia Yan is on the toilet. And he’s constipated."

Mu Feng sat hidden in his chair, secretly messaging his superior. He wiped the sticky sweat off his face, eyes a little shifty.

"?"

The so‑called "Chief," with a big "proxy grind" avatar, replied in a second with a question mark.

"Wait!"

"Chief, Chief, I’ve got new intel! 😫"

Thinking the superior was unhappy, Mu Feng typed fast: "When I came back, I heard him in the bathroom calling his wife. Super mushy."

"One hundred percent it’s Lin Qingyu."

"I peeked at Lin Qingyu’s Moments. This afternoon she posted, ‘Today was full and happy,’ with a pic of high heels 👠."

"I’m sure it’s the pair she wore on stage today. (Checked seven times) 😋."

"Conclusion: their relationship’s reached ‘queue up a match’ level."

…

Mu Feng saw no reply. His heart went ice‑cold.

Weren’t we clear he just had to report Xia Yan’s every move in the dorm? He’d already sacrificed his conscience a lot. He couldn’t betray his good bro any further! 😡

(Stay undercover, as long as it doesn’t break principle 😋.)

😨!

"Not gonna lie, damn you, Mu. Clutching your phone all day. That sneaky‑dog look is why no senpai asks for your WeChat."

Xiang Guan slapped Mu Feng’s shoulder hard, then watched him snap the phone shut…

Trying to cover, making it worse.

He raised a brow. On a buzz‑cut jock’s face, it looked extra funny. He asked, all teasing, "You, kid…"

"Don’t tell me you’re dating—"

Mu Feng: "I’m on picacg."

"Please respect me."

He said it calmly, like life and death meant nothing, dropping that string of mysterious letters without a flinch.

"Sorry."

Xiang Guan pulled back the smile and the teasing look. He sat down, silent.

They faced the same way, with the bunk ladder blocking them from sight.

Xiang Guan picked up a brand‑new book, set it on the desk, and broke the silence, asking like it was nothing:

"NTR or pure love?"

"Pure love."

"Send me a copy."

"Okay."

"By the way, Xiang—"

"Hm?"

"Your calculus book is upside down."

………………

(munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch.)

So good! 🥺

The girl didn’t wolf it down like usual. She savored the meat, the burst of umami in her mouth.

It’s meat, real meat.😭😭

She let out a cute snow‑leopard kind of cry (｡>∀<｡).

Hua Xin had microwaved Xia Yan’s noon leftovers. Heavy salt, heavy oil. But for taste buds trained by thirteen‑spice and chili sauce, this was practically a New Year’s feast.

The rice at home had long run out. Instant noodles, as strategic reserves, couldn’t be eaten up 😶…

She’d been gnawing on cookies for over a week.

The girl hesitated, then picked up a piece of sweet‑and‑sour rib.

"Awoo…"

She placed it in her mouth with ceremony and tasted it.

The texture and flavor didn’t beat lunchtime, but…

Her watery eyes filled with grateful tears again. Counting her own saved portion from noon, she ate everything clean.

Looking at the cleared‑out scene, she gathered the rib bones.

Next meal: rib bones with milk‑mung‑bean soup over rice 🤤…

"Buzz buzz."

Huh? Pulled back from the sacred act of eating, Hua Xin finally saw the messages bombarding her poor phone.

…

After reading Mu Feng’s report, the girl fell into thought.

According to Mu Feng… ever since they met, Xia Yan’s vibe was obviously single. Plenty of pretty girls came to flirt.

Even the barbecue shop where he worked over summer doubled its sales. Classic host script 🤔…

Xia Yan himself had said he didn’t plan to date in college.

But…

His behavior was weird.

Most of the time he wasn’t in the dorm. On weekends and on off days he’d vanish. That started around two weeks after military training began. (Found a door‑to‑door gig.)

So maybe he’d already been secretly dating Lin Qingyu.

Now all the coy "come here, go away," all the "lovey‑dovey" scenes… are just a show, dragging out admitting it?

But what does that have to do with him getting close to me?

The girl tightened her brows. She couldn’t figure it out.

Wait! 🤔☝🏻️

If the time he started dating Lin Qingyu lines up with when he approached me…

Hua Xin clenched her tiny fists. She lifted her head, her cute face full of fury, muttering through gritted teeth:

"I… found the truth…"

——————

"Baby, listen. There’s this super weird guy in our class. Always in weird clothes, wearing a mask. Even his shoes are barbed Nikes, and they don’t fit! 🤣"

"I heard from the advisor he’s autistic and has social anxiety. Tsk tsk, so strange 😨."

"If you’re sick, why even go to school? (disgust)"

Xia Yan (imagined) wrapped Lin Qingyu in one arm, laying her on his forearm, while his other hand roamed all over. He spoke with a touch of disdain.

"Darling 🥰, stay far away from him. People like that got big problems. Maybe he’ll suddenly snap one day and stab you…"

"If anything happens to you, what about the embryo that just formed in my belly?😭"

Lin Qingyu (imagined) grabbed Xia Yan’s big hand, worried and wronged, guiding it to the inside of her clothes.

"It’s okay, wifey. Wanna watch something fun?"

"What kind of fun, hubby?"

Xia Yan (imagined) curled his lips to a wicked seventy‑degree angle. "Like when a pathetic shut‑in with social anxiety suddenly gets noticed by a sunny, gentle normie. They even become friends…"

"Once he’s willing to take a hit for me, and he’s stepped out of autism and social anxiety, I’ll tell him I never saw him as a friend. Then I’ll humiliate him hard."

"Ah! Hubby, you’re so bad! But it does sound fun."

"Wife, there’s one more thing I wanna say."

Xia Yan (imagined) looked at Lin Qingyu, already stripped down to springlight. He said, teasing and full of feeling: "You’re so lewd 😉…"

————————

Hua Xin pressed both hands to the chair. Her hair covered her face.

With years of novels and manga behind her.

There was only one possible truth 🥺.

"Xia Yan…"

"Burp…"

The girl took a silent sip of milk and pushed the full burp down.

"You pair of dogs 😡…"

"I will bring you both to justice! 👊🏻😡👊🏻"

"Just you wait!"

"Hua Xin… I’m not the old Hua Xin anymore… I won’t let you carve me up! 😡😭…"