"Wife, has that random guy been bothering you again? 😡"

"Just so you know, I totally get how losers like him think. If he’s not after your looks, I’ll write my name upside down with my belly button while standing on my head. 😎"

"If you’re scared, just tell me where you are. I’ll come over to calm your nerves 😘 and warm up those icy little feet of yours. 😋…"

"?"

Faced with such outrageous nonsense, Hua Xin nearly punched through her screen.

"Get lost, you creep! 😡"

"My wife’s scolding me—my wife’s scolding me! I love you most, meow~ 🥵"

"…"

Hua Xin wordlessly peeled the ice pack wrapped in a towel off her head 💎.

No huge bump, but it still throbbed…

"I was just scared you’d dump me. You never meet up offline. What if some random trash guy cheats on me? I’ll cry my little pearls. 😭"

"Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah… 😭"

Xia Yan fake-sobbed twice for effect.

"I’ve stayed pure for you, baby. Today, some girl tried to flirt—I didn’t fall for it. Went straight to hang with my bros instead… Can my wife praise me? 🥰"

OldWater had turned into a clingy, whiny "wife-monster."

Hua Xin’s eye twitched as she fought back physical and mental disgust. Even after nearly a month of online dating this loser, his cringe levels still shocked her.

Seriously… a construction grunt like you getting girls throwing themselves at you? Must be concrete-dust hallucinations. How are you this delusional? (Disgusted face)…

OldWater’s online persona for Hua Xin was a hardworking civil engineering senior 👷🏻‍♀️—hence the visible abs and muscles.

Who even *is* this guy? (So gross)…

"Send money. Or we break up."

Hua Xin’s threat was ice-cold.

*Ding. QQ Wallet: ¥50 received.*

"My loyalty in love is unshakable. I only love one person in my life. 😋"

*(Though who that is… well.)*

"Don’t worry, OldWater! 😎"

Hua Xin suddenly declared with starry-eyed sincerity, clutching her phone like a lifeline.

Her balance had just gone up. Maybe she could afford rice every day this month! 🍚

OldWater gross? No—he had *character*. Charisma, even. 😊…

Suddenly, muffled noise crackled from Hua Xin’s ¥2 mail-order speakers.

Xia Yan’s voice dropped to a whisper: "Babe, my roommate’s back. Gotta go. Talk later. Mua~ 😘"

"Hustle harder. Earn more bricks to feed me."

Her voice turned sultry: "I dump laborers who don’t make ¥300 a day. 😈"

"At your age, rest is for losers." (Classic PUA line)

"Of course I’ll work hard to marry you—"

Hua Xin hung up before he finished.

Finally, that forced sultry voice vanished from her ears. Did he really think his voice was magnetic? (Okay, maybe a little.)

*Hah. Marry who? I’m eighteen. And male. 😨*

…She glanced at her own pale, slender hands and silently skipped that thought.

Leaning back, her gaming chair rolled away from the desk. Two jade-white legs—perfectly sculpted, neither too thin nor too full—slid out from under the table.

Except for one flaw: a visible bruise below her right knee.

From crashing into a pillar earlier that day.

*"Dee-dee-dee-doo-doo-doo-doo…"*

Paid-up and cheerful, even the ache in her head faded.

Hua Xin hummed, stretching her legs straight. She slipped her feet out of her slippers, planted them on the floor, then flashed a peace sign beside her thigh. Phone angled just right—capturing hand, leg, and all.

*Click.*

One unedited, blood-boiling leg pic, fresh out the oven.

She admired it. 🤔

How to describe it…?

Enough to make anyone *wild* with longing. 🥵

Hua Xin’s fingers slid slowly over her own skin.

*So… smooth… soft… amazing… 🥵*

Why is this *me*? If only she were my wife… my 2D waifu! 😭😭

Tears in her eyes, she hit send. Then she pounced onto her bed, hugging a pillow and rolling in glee—visions of coins multiplying in her balance.

No guy could resist this bait. OldWater would be her ATM.

…Wait. Was this too evil?

*Uh… didn’t I swear never to sell my soul or body?* 🤔 *Ding!*

The microwave’s chime hit like cat treats. Hua Xin bolted to the kitchen.

*Rice time first! 😋😋!!*

————————

Dorm 1225, Male Residence, Devil City University.

Xia Yan sat on the closed toilet lid inside the shared bathroom, eyes shut tight. Phone resting on his lap, he breathed slow and deep.

Whispering:

*"Clear heart, pure mind.*

*No wind, no waves.*

*Alone in bamboo grove, zither hums.*

*Zen stillness—demons flee.*

*My heart has no flaw; heaven rewards grit.*

*My will is just; ghosts tremble.*

*I also love beauty… those legs… 😍"*

…Oops. Wrong line.

Xia Yan’s handsome face stayed calm, as if nothing happened.

Ignoring the tent in his shorts.

"Yan-ge! Hurry up! I’m melting! Gotta shower—gotta wash my *xx*! 😭"

"Same here, Yan-ge!! That girl kept leaning on me, saying I ‘smell nice’—I’m stuck like glue! Aaaah!!"

"Dude, since when are you ‘nice-smelling’? Her nose must be AI-powered."

"Shh. Go play elsewhere."

"Don’t slander me! I’m into *avant-garde* stuff now!"

Their bickering through the door made Xia Yan’s summer heat flare hotter.

The calm from his mantra shattered.

He opened his eyes. His "little brother" stood stubbornly at attention, radiating betrayal.

He couldn’t walk out like this…

Today was Day 899. Tomorrow—breaking the 900-day barrier—was critical. 😨

How could he…?

Xia Yan’s thumb moved on autopilot.

Phone unlocked. Album opened. Scrolled down. Pattern: L-shape.

Hidden folder. Top photo: Hua Xin’s peace-sign leg pic.

Swipe.

Her "jade-white feet" pic. 🥰

Swipe.

Another leg shot. 🥵

*Gulp.*

Xia Yan swallowed hard. 😍

In real life, he’d seen countless beauties—uniforms, skirts, every style.

Zero spark.

But Hua Xin? An exception.

Every inch of her pulled at him.

After 899 days of self-denial, the online clown finally understood: *burning desire*.

"I need relief."

He stated it calmly.

"Roger."

"Okay, not rushing you."

Xia Yan closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened a video app. Volume cranked. *"I’m Jeremy Wa—"*

His "brother" still refused to stand down.

He leaned back, frustrated.

"Hold it…

Xia Yan, you can do this. Clear heart… jade legs… uh…"

"*Damn it. Hold. It. Together.* 😡😡"