Er Yue Feng was indeed frail.

So before heading out, he spent half an hour tidying himself up.

First, he washed off the water Luo Yu had poured on his head last night.

Then, he combed his white hair until it was silky smooth.

Finally, he gave his white beard a quick trim.

“You idiot Phantom Man, so slow!” Luo Yu sat atop his head, pointing and scolding.

“…” Er Yue Feng peeled Luo Yu off his neck, flicking a suave hand gesture. “I’m the strongest human Champion. I need style when I go out. How else will I attract girls?”

“Aren’t you full of girls already?”

“Never enough!” Er Yue Feng waved a finger. “A harem should be as big as possible. I’m a pure-love warrior—I give equal love to all.”

“You deserve to be impotent,” Luo Yu hissed through gritted teeth.

“What’s wrong with impotent? I told you, it’s just a bad state—psychological reasons.”

Er Yue Feng shot Luo Yu a glare, then swept his robe back with flair. “By the way, little girl, aren’t you going home?”

“Home?” Luo Yu blinked.

“I mean, you could’ve left last night while I slept. Lan City isn’t big. You didn’t have to cling to me all night and keep me awake.”

He shrugged. “Few girls refuse my requests, but I prefer winning them over with charm. I won’t force you to stay.”

Luo Yu looked down. “So… do all the girls in your harem really love you?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“They’d die for me. Three already have.” Er Yue Feng lifted his brows, gazing distantly out the window.

“Damn it!” Luo Yu clenched her teeth tighter. “You bastard, you’re really something else.”

“Besides,” Er Yue Feng added, pulling a cane from a cabinet and testing it on the floor, “Chai Jiu won’t allow weaklings in the Champion’s party. Too many worries on this path. She’d never let someone too weak tag along.”

“I’m the future Demon Emperor! I’m strong!” Luo Yu raised her fists, elbows forward, striking a fighting pose.

“So strong, so strong.” Er Yue Feng turned, flashing a bright smile. “So, will you join the Champion’s team?”

“What? You want me in your harem?” Luo Yu’s face darkened instantly.

“Uh…” Er Yue Feng scratched his cheek. “If you really want to join, I’ll discuss it with Chai Jiu…”

“Bastard!”

Her sweet voice was followed by an elbow slamming into his face.

Luo Yu kicked Er Yue Feng to the ground, straddled his stomach, and punched his face again and again.

“Bastard! Scumbag! Useless! Phantom Man! Impotent…”

Er Yue Feng: “…”

…

When they stepped out of the tavern, no one could recognize Er Yue Feng by his Champion’s looks anymore.

“My handsome face…” Er Yue Feng stared at his bruised reflection in a mirror, wiping frantically. “How can I pick up girls like this?”

Luo Yu trailed behind, sighing. “Can’t you just magic-heal yourself?”

“I told you—real men with strong bodies see magic as weak.”

They strolled down Lan City’s main road, chatting idly.

“Speaking of which,” Er Yue Feng looked up at the sky, “why are Lan City locals so sickly? Middle-aged but already ancient, like they’re about to kick the bucket.”

He approached an old man wailing on the ground, clutching his leg. Er Yue Feng picked up the man’s bowl, examining it closely.

After a moment, he set it down and stared at the torn, ragged cat ears on the man’s head.

Spotting a well-dressed noble, the sun-dazed old man scrambled up, kowtowing to Er Yue Feng.

He clutched his leg, howling in pain.

Luo Yu hurried over, shocked. “Isn’t this Old Cat? He sold his daughter and got rich. Why’s he begging now?”

Old Cat grinned foolishly, surprised to see Luo Yu but quickly resuming his kowtows for coins.

Er Yue Feng ignored Luo Yu’s chatter, vaguely recognizing the face but too forgetful to place it. He reached for his pocket to give money.

“Thank you, sir! Thank you!” Old Cat held out his bowl eagerly. But Er Yue Feng fumbled in his pockets for ages, pulling out nothing.

Old Cat’s smile stiffened. He tugged his beard awkwardly. “Sir… forgot your money?”

“Watch your mouth!” Luo Yu yanked Er Yue Feng aside, confronting the old man. “I hate lazy Lower Demons who beg instead of working. Go bother someone else!”

“You little brat! Got cozy with nobles and think you’re hot stuff now?” Old Cat snapped, leaping up and sprinting down the road until he vanished.

“Where’d he go?” Er Yue Feng finally pulled out five bucks, ready to toss it in the bowl—but the cat-eared man was gone.

“That old geezer ran off.” Luo Yu puffed out her chest. “I can’t stand seeing Lower Demons suffer in Lan City. It makes me furious.”

“So you’re charitable?” Er Yue Feng raised an eyebrow, surprised. “You care about home.”

“Exactly! Lan City can’t keep rotting.” Luo Yu nodded firmly. “When I’m Emperor, I’ll exile all beggars to starve. Then Lan City will look rich and thriving—and show how merciful I am.”

“You’re a bastard,” Er Yue Feng remarked, watching Old Cat’s direction. “But I thought his leg was broken. How’d he run so fast?”

“It wasn’t broken at all.” Luo Yu snatched the five bucks from his hand, stuffing it into her pants and clamping it with her thigh.

“What?” Er Yue Feng gasped. “So he faked his disability…”

“Duh, you idiot.” Luo Yu burrowed into his chest, rummaging through his pockets. She stuffed every coin she found beside her mouth. “Heh heh—today’s our ‘date,’ Phantom Man. I’ll drain you dry. Serves you right for flirting with so many girls—I’m jealous!”

After emptying his pockets, Luo Yu took a deep breath and cackled in the corner. “With my genius from two lifetimes, messing with a dumbass like you is easy. I’ll torture you till you crawl back to the tavern, leaning on walls with a sore back and bitter face.”

Er Yue Feng eyed her twitching form. “What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing! Nothing!” Luo Yu shook her head wildly, pointing across the street. “Look, Phantom Man—see that building? Never seen one before? Let’s go inside!”

“What is it?”

Er Yue Feng scratched his head, reading the sign above the salon: “‘Hundred-Year Wash, Cut, Blow—Wash & Cut: 2 Bucks, Blow: 50…’ Isn’t this just a barbershop? Why bother?”

“Don’t read the sign—it’s fake.”

Luo Yu giggled, skipping to him and twirling so her skirt flared. She pointed at the salon. “Those girls seem like hairdressers, but they’re actually masters of male medicine. Their ‘dragon-taming’ skills are legendary. Even a Dragon King would raise his little head for them.”

“No way?” Er Yue Feng gasped. “That amazing?”