“Oh… so this b really is a total dumbass…” Luo Yu listened to Cat Ten’s commentary while staring at Er Yue Feng’s steady, peaceful sleep. The corners of her lips slowly curled.

She couldn’t help planting her hands on her hips. Her mouth wouldn’t hold straight anymore; her whole expression was about to fly off her face.

Cat Ten: “…What are you laughing at?”

“I’m not laughing.”

Luo Yu hurried to the corner, squatted down, and giggled. She smugly declared victory to herself, grinning from ear to ear:

“I, Luo Yu, am a peerless genius. Playing with a Phantom Man who barely understands common sense? Easy mode. Ahaha… ahem, ahem…”

“You okay?” Cat Ten frowned at Luo Yu, who’d choked on her own spit again.

“Cough… I’m fine.” Luo Yu nearly didn’t recover. Her face went pale in an instant, and she could only feebly wave Cat Ten off.

“Then I’m heading out. If anything happens, just come downstairs and find me.”

“Bye, catgirl sis.”

“One more thing.” Cat Ten took two steps out, then jogged back to remind her: “Tomorrow, Sister Chai’s taking a few people to the outskirts of Lan City to investigate the Demon God Legacy. I have to go too. So you stay at the tavern. If you’re homesick, you can go home. Since you can’t fix the Champion’s… situation, Sister Chai doesn’t need to keep you.”

Luo Yu lifted her head and pointed at the dead-as-a-log Er Yue Feng:

“Then he’s not going with you to do Demonic God stuff?”

“Well…” Cat Ten scratched the tip of her nose. “The Champion’s mental state is shaky from the amnesia. Sister Chai decided not to send him out. You can stay by his side.”

“Yoshi.” Luo Yu perked up all at once.

“What bird language was that?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

She waved Cat Ten off and shut the door with a sharp click. Then her gaze slid back to Er Yue Feng, who slept like the dead on the bed.

“Tomorrow, it’ll be just you and me. Our little two-person world.”

Twisting into a tap-dance shimmy, Luo Yu climbed onto the bed. She stood over where Er Yue Feng lay on his back and wiggled her legs left and right, dance never stopping.

She blew another little stream of water onto his head, and her smile went more and more wicked.

“Heh, heh, heh…” Luo Yu stepped on his head with her bare foot, one fist raised like she was awarding herself. “You’ve fallen into my hands now, Phantom Man.”

Er Yue Feng didn’t even twitch after being stepped on for a good while. Even after getting his head rinsed, he showed no sign of opening his eyes.

Luo Yu chuckled. So this birdbrain really sleeps like a rock. Chop his head off and he still wouldn’t wake.

She plopped down on his head, eyes curving into crescents as a bad idea sprouted in her heart.

“No wonder he’s a legendary Champion. What a comfy life. Invincible since childhood, building a giant harem, marrying a bunch of girls. If he hadn’t… stopped rising lately, he’d be eating, drinking, and having fun every day. I’m so salty.”

Luo Yu scratched at the corner of her mouth, spat the last mouthful of water, then hugged her knees and sat beside him.

She felt a little drained. She flicked off the lingering droplets and muttered, “I might look fifteen, but I’ve lived two lives. Total age, thirty-two, a full-grown adult. My life experience is rich beyond measure, mind packed with earth-shattering wisdom. Toying with an amnesiac guy? Easy, like breathing.”

With a slick floor-spin, Luo Yu pointed her index finger at Er Yue Feng’s face, smug as a queen. “In short, even if I’m not killing you, Phantom Man, you’re gonna suffer a lot in my hands!”

“Damn it. You saw me naked and messed with me, and then you forgot it all just ’cause of amnesia… Whatever. In the end, I—this Emperor—will win.”

Just when she was winning and winning and about to win herself silly, her eyes fell on Er Yue Feng’s pale lips. Her body went stiff.

“Why do I really, really want to lick them… suck till I’m full…”

Her face flushed red at the words. She slapped a hand over her mouth and looked away.

“What the hell.” Luo Yu shook her head hard to clear it. She bit down. “For real, did this bastard smear aphrodisiac on his lips? Ever since he kissed me, I can’t get enough. I keep wanting to lick him.”

She slapped herself twice, then took big, steadying breaths to calm the panic. “Don’t get seduced by lust. If I lose it, wouldn’t that make me a freebie? No way, no way.”

She tried to keep rewarding herself, to soothe that restless urge inside.

Too bad, from the moment she’d been dragged into the tavern bound, she’d been riding that wave non-stop.

Even next month’s quota was almost overfilled.

She kept twitching.

After painfully finishing the last round of the day, Luo Yu straightened her stiff waist, crawled off the bed, and looked at Er Yue Feng’s face again.

“Phantom Man, remember this. This one doesn’t count. Kissing you doesn’t mean my first kiss is gone, got it?”

Er Yue Feng: “…”

Luo Yu couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed his head and slammed her lips down on his.

“? This feeling—hiss, ha… hiss, ha, hiss…”

Three minutes later, she reluctantly raised her head. Her face had ripened into a persimmon, eyes foggy.

A long string of saliva hung from her lips. Her voice buzzed like a mosquito, drunk and dazed. “Why does it feel so good… It’s like I’m high. If Cat-sis is right, I’m absorbing his mana now…”

“Damn, this taste… better than taste itself.”

Through the haze, Luo Yu tilted her head and glanced at her hair, which had grown that tiny bit more—enough to cover her butt now. “This Phantom Man’s kinda magical.”

“But it still feels… not enough.”

She straddled Er Yue Feng’s stomach. Her fingers pressed his chest. She leaned forward, and her two little mounds pressed down too.

“As expected. The more body contact, the more I get.” Luo Yu grabbed his head again and kissed him deep, twice, her reason slipping.

She scooted her hips back a little. Her fingers slipped down and grabbed little Er Yue Feng.

She’d started talking nonsense. “Logically, to draw more energy, I need a deeper exchange, right?”

“Come on, stand up already.”

Seconds ticked by. Luo Yu got anxious. Her hands flashed through ninja hand signs, almost striking sparks.

But Er Yue Feng didn’t move at all. He still slept peacefully.

Little Er Yue Feng was like an ascetic who’d suffered all of life’s hardships, holding the allure at the gates.

Like a saint.

“Damn it, you dumb Phantom Man… hurry, hurry, hurry…”

No response.

Luo Yu snapped. She slapped Er Yue Feng across the face and exploded. “You useless piece of crap!”

“…,” Er Yue Feng sat bolt upright from a dying dream, eyes flying open. He stared at Luo Yu sitting on his stomach, utterly confused. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I’m saying,” Luo Yu ranted, jabbing his forehead with a furious finger, “if you keep being this disappointing, disband your harem and send them all back to their moms. You’re worse than a stick—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Er Yue Feng spread his hands, speechless. “Can I sleep now?”

“You still dare sleep? At your age, how can you even sleep?” She watched him settle back down, voice rising louder and louder, emotions winding tighter and tighter.

That hazy, tipsy feeling faded, little by little.

She looked at the man under her, then flashed back to what she’d just done. Her whole body went taut.

“I just… I just French-kissed this b. And used my hand on him…”

Luo Yu’s pupils shook. She burst into tears again.

“Now what?” Er Yue Feng was exasperated. He handed her a tissue.

“Waaaah…”

She flung the soaked tissue at his head and kept sobbing. “My hand’s not clean anymore. It’s all your fault, all your fault. How am I supposed to face the other girls now? You—jerk, Phantom Man, trash, small fry…”

Er Yue Feng: “…”