Confession of a Stalker (Beginner Level):

When did I first start noticing An Juncheng?

Of course I remember clearly—it was during seat assignments in the first semester of sophomore year.

I ended up sitting diagonally behind him after the random draw.

At first, I didn’t pay him any mind. Didn’t even know his name. I figured everyone else in class felt the same.

So low-key he might as well be invisible. Cold. Never interacting with others. Like living proof against the saying "humans are social creatures." Always alone.

You couldn’t help but wonder: Didn’t he ever feel lonely?

Looking back now, that was probably where my attention began.

But back then, it was just mild curiosity—not yet the kind where I’d watch him every single second.

If I had to pinpoint when it deepened… maybe there wasn’t a specific moment.

My seat just happened to be diagonally behind his. A slight turn of my head, and there he was. And since I loved gazing at the blue sky outside the window anyway, I’d often catch glimpses of him.

At first, it was tiny details: He could write with both hands. He always loaded pencil lead refills from the tip. His square eraser slowly turned round from use. His notes were immaculate—as if printed by a machine. During breaks, he’d scroll through his phone, usually reading e-books or manga…

I’ve always been observant. Noticing these things about him wasn’t strange…

But every time I looked his way, I’d discover something new. Gradually, I started looking forward to glancing at him.

Like finding little joys in ordinary things. Perfectly normal, right?

Later, everyone in class formed their own cliques, sitting near friends. Only our corner stayed awkward—all because of him and Jiang Xueqing.

Yingnai asked me to switch seats and sit beside her up front. I refused.

Why? Wouldn’t chatting with a friend be more fun…? If I’m honest, maybe I’d just grown used to this spot. Watching him never felt boring anymore.

He really was a strange guy.

Meticulous about everything. Robotic in his precision. Fixed routines. Unshakable habits.

Just seeing him radiated a powerful sense of self.

No teenage uncertainty about the future. Just steady, methodical steps toward the path he’d planned for himself.

Watching him, I’d think: *This* is how a person should live.

Slowly, I began caring about his life.

Learned his name was An Juncheng—given by his grandfather…

Learned his father was a surgeon, his mother a funeral director. That explained his coldness…

Learned he had twin sisters his age, though he barely interacted with them at school…

Learned so much about him…

But back then, he was still just an object of observation to me. Like studying a plant or a small animal. Fascinated by his lifestyle and patterns.

That mindset shifted again after the last exam results were announced.

When Teacher Xiaozhen called my name, I walked up to collect my report.

She handed me the sheet and test papers. I glanced down—my scores barely cleared the average. Rank: exactly 200th.

*Ugh… I was too busy watching An Juncheng to focus in class…*

"Lan Hua, your grades slipped," Teacher Xiaozhen said. "You might drop out of the second tier at this rate! You’ve seemed distracted lately—is something on your mind?"

Her question made me panic.

"Eh? Nothing at all…"

"Really? Well, if you’re troubled, talk to me."

"Okay…"

*Yeah, right. Like I’d discuss* this *with a teacher…*

I forced a smile, turning to head back to my seat—only for Teacher Xiaozhen to call his name next.

"Juncheng."

"Oh."

An Juncheng replied flatly, rising from his seat toward the podium. As he walked closer, my feet froze to the floor!

Only after he brushed past me could I move again. *Did my expression look weird? Did he notice me staring?*

"Excellent progress!" Teacher Xiaozhen beamed, patting his shoulder from her step stool. "201st this time! Just a little more effort, and you’ll break into the second tier!"

"Woah, that’s brutal luck," a voice snickered beside me. Meng Fa, brown-haired and smirking, leaned in. "Stuck at 201st? He must hate the guy right above him."

*Is that true…?*

I couldn’t help glancing back. He stood with his back to me—I couldn’t see his face.

Would he feel bitter? Would he start resenting me? Would that unchanging expression finally shift?

The thought that *I* might be the one to change him filled me with something warm… Was this… accomplishment?

I sank back into my seat, that fluttering feeling lingering. Something felt off inside me.

"Sure, sure…"

"Don’t act so uninterested! If you really tried, Juncheng, you could break into the first tier no problem!"

"You overestimate me, Teacher. I’m giving it my all. Besides, night study hall is… interesting."

*Care. Care. Care.*

I cared *so much* about An Juncheng.

I just… cared. About this utterly unremarkable guy—the complete opposite of someone like me, a Level 5 beauty who turns heads on the street! (Okay, maybe not as dazzling as Ji Lianbing, but I’ve got confidence!)

Yet he probably didn’t even know my name…

Slowly, I started wondering how *he* saw *me*.

*Maybe… he’s been watching me too?*

—*After hiding it this long, I can’t hold back anymore. Truth is, I… (daydream filter activated)*

*Ah~*

*…Huh? What am I thinking?! I’ve never felt like this before… Is his heart racing like mine right now?*

I spent most of each day watching him… devoting even more time to observing him.

When I realized I was the *only* one watching him, another feeling flooded me—possession.

*Only I see him. Only I notice him. Only I care. Only I… know his worth!*

No one else understood him. No one knew him like I did. It felt like a secret just between An Juncheng and me… I drowned in this one-sided ownership.

Then last Thursday, that fragile peace shattered.

After chatting with Lianbing, he walked into class.

He’d almost been late—normally arriving between 6:54 and 6:56 AM, today he’d rushed in as the bell rang.

I’d watched him all through the first half of night study hall. Something must’ve happened after it ended.

I knew him too well. I spotted the change instantly.

He just… felt different.

Taller? More mature? Or had he simply… grown?

He seemed more magnetic.

My heart hammered.

*Huh? What’s this? What’s happening?!*

*He’ll notice me staring… but I can’t look away. I just want to keep watching him.*

*Could it be… is he planning to confess to someone? That flustered look when he entered… like he’s hesitating over something.*

*Maybe he’ll confess… maybe to me?*

—*Actually… Lan Hua, I’ve never told you this, but I… like you! (daydream filter activated)*

Turns out… there *was* a confession. But it wasn’t Juncheng confessing—it was him being confessed *to*…

*Why, Lianbing… why…? (shattered heart)*

So I wasn’t the only one watching him anymore?

Someone else noticed him too. And it was *Lianbing*…

*Disgusting. It feels disgusting!*

Like my inner sanctum had been violated. It hurt… it hurt so much!

*Why did it turn out like this…?*

*It was me. I was first. First to notice him. First to watch him. First to… like that guy!*

*Huh? Like?*

*Like… Oh.*

*I like him.*

Finally, I traced the source of these feelings. That initial curiosity had become *liking* him—tying my heart in knots.

*I like him!*

I never expected realizing this one thing would take so long. If only I’d noticed sooner… confessed sooner… Lianbing wouldn’t have beaten me to it.

But… regret was useless now.

Today, An Juncheng would return to school.

He’d been hospitalized after falling down stairs—giving me time to steel myself.

Yes. I was ready to confess… I’d tell him how I felt!

"Xiao Lan~ Lan~"

"Lan Lan~ Lu~"

"What nonsense are you spouting?! Did you binge creepy animations again yesterday?!"

"Pfft… Stop hitting me, you violent maniac…"

"You. Said. *What*~~~?"

A girl with headphones and a boy in thick, old-fashioned glasses approached. The girl playfully locked the boy’s head under her arm. My childhood friends, Gao Yingnai and Luo Yingliang, already bickering at this hour.

"Oh? New hairstyle today? Took effort, huh? Adorable~ Hehe, so you’ve made up your mind?"

"Huh? Wow, a side ponytail? Fresh and lively! And since you’re naturally outgoing, Lan Hua, your cute rating just doubled."

"Ew… Such detailed commentary. Gross."

"You got a problem with me?"

They squabbled again. My mind wandered elsewhere.

*If I put this much care into my appearance… will he finally notice me?*

*Then… I’ll confess to him too.*

I slowed my steps in the bustling hallway. 6:55 AM. He’d be here soon.

*Breathe, Lan Hua. Stay calm.*

As I took a deep breath, Yingnai patted my shoulder, grinning mischievously.

"Lan Hua… he’s here."

My heart clenched violently. Nerves threatened to burst inside my chest!

I squeezed my eyes shut, calming my racing heart—then turned with resolve!

"………………………………❤"

*His glasses… the frame style…*

*So cute! SO CUTE!*

*Uwaaah… no, bad! I want to take a photo!*

*I want to set it as my phone wallpaper!*

*Breathe… calm down, heart! Calm down, Lan Hua! Save the celebration for after he accepts my confession!*

"T-That… Juncheng…"

I couldn’t finish his name. He didn’t even glance my way.

He walked straight past me, greeting the person behind me instead.

"Yo, Yingliang. Early as usual."

"Uh…"

"What’s with that constipated look?"

"N-Nothing… Just… please delete those files from my cloud drive…"

"Why are you leaving what sounds like a last will?!"

*Ah… yeah.*

"……"

To him, I was just a stranger he passed without a word. Someone he’d never bother to greet.

Even Xiaoliang ranks higher than me, because I'm not even his friend.

It's always me caring about him, not him caring about me.

This one-way arrow—unrequited love—leads nowhere. We've never crossed paths...

Why... Is it because I don't know him well enough? Am I not close enough to him?

What if the one I love doesn't love me back? Should I give up? Should I watch helplessly as he flies to another place, into another woman's arms? While I say, "As long as he's happy," and cry my heart out in the dead of night?

Ridiculous! Ridiculous love, ridiculous surrender, ridiculous heartache!

Love, this feeling isn't enough, not intense enough!

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! I love your hair, your eyes, your every move... Just seeing you makes me feel alive. I truly, deeply love you! You're the one I love most in the world!

But this isn't enough; I need a deeper yearning! That's right, I must love him... Pour out deeper feelings, invest more love.

I'm no longer satisfied with just watching. I want to know more about him. I want to step into his daily life, become part of it, feel everything from closer up!

...

Title update:

[Stalker (Beginner)] → [Stalker (Intermediate)]