I saw Tsurumi Meiling still wasn’t waking up, so I gave her breasts a couple more squeezes. Ah. That felt way too good.

After that, I didn’t dare keep going.

Honestly, I really wanted to, but my body stopped me. Useless. In this state, even if we went all the way or did this and that, they probably wouldn’t feel anything. Not taking more advantage now is just pathetic. Shameful.

So, next is—

I stared at Tsurumi Meiling’s tempting red lips. They curled up slightly, full and soft. Her mouth was parted a little in sleep, like a devil’s temptation. I couldn’t help swallowing. No, I can’t do that. Better just steal a kiss on her cheek. My conscience can live with that.

I looked at her cheek, reached out and touched it. So soft, so smooth. First time I’d ever felt something like this.

I glanced around. Good, still out cold. I slowly lowered my proud head. Target locked: Tsurumi Meiling’s cheek.

Just as I locked onto “secretly kiss Tsurumi Meiling’s face” as my mission, an accident happened.

Drunk Tsurumi Meiling suddenly lifted her head. Her little forehead bumped into mine, and those seducing red lips landed right on my lips.

Yeah, that wasn’t on purpose. It really was an accident. She raised her own head and crashed into me.

The kiss was one thing, but then… her fragrant tongue slipped into my mouth and started probing, sucking hard.

I froze. It took me a good five minutes to react.

I immediately tried to push her head back, but she fought me hard, really hard, like she was eating something, sucking with all her strength, her tongue still in my mouth.

No way. If this keeps up, our lips are gonna swell. Mine, hers, both. People will notice. Even if it feels amazing, it can’t go on. This totally goes against Marxist values. No. No way.

I firmly pushed her away. Pop—there was this loud, wet sound when we broke apart. It seemed to jolt her; Tsurumi Meiling’s eyes cracked open, dazed, took a look, then closed again.

That was close. So close. I looked at her lips. They were a bit swollen, a little fuller.

I pulled out my phone to check myself. Luckily, my lips weren’t too bad, just slightly puffed. But her red lipstick was smeared all over my mouth. I hurried to wipe it off with a tissue, destroying the evidence. Good. Nothing happened. At all.

Because of what just happened, I didn’t dare have any more bad ideas.

Back to the original plan. Operation Codename A.

I gently laid Sensei down on the sofa. Then I drew on my actor’s self-discipline, cranking my acting skills up to Oscar level. How does that line go again? I am him, he is me. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

Honestly, I wanted to slap her awake, really go at her cheeks. That would definitely wake her up. But then I thought about it—once she realized her pretty face was puffy and ruined, she’d totally make my life hell. And we still have to get along for two whole years. I do not want to be targeted nonstop in the future.

So I tossed the face-slapping plan and swapped it for another.

“Sensei, wake up. Sensei! Wake up!”

That’s right. I’d use my gentle call to awaken the truth, goodness, and beauty in her heart, use truth, goodness, and beauty to defeat the evil alcohol. Human will is incredibly strong. As long as you want to, you can tap into infinite power. Power like iron, power like steel. Harder than iron, stronger than steel.

“Sensei, please get up. Your most devoted student is waiting for you!”

Nope. Doesn’t work. The original sin in her body is too strong; it’s suppressing her truth, goodness, and beauty. Her truth, goodness, and beauty have been corrupted. Time for Plan C.

I slowly propped Tsurumi Meiling up. In her current unconscious state, she can’t frame me, so I dared to touch her. Right now I’m basically the richest man alive.

I leaned her back against the sofa, set both my hands on her shoulders. Okay. Plan C, go!

“Sensei, wake up, quick! Sensei, wake up, there’s no time to explain! Wake up! We’re gonna miss the bus!”

I shouted as I shook her hard. Shake and shake, shake and shake, shake her all the way to Grandma’s bridge.

Turns out, with my method, I really did manage to awaken the truth, goodness, and beauty inside her. Truth, goodness, and beauty defeated original sin. She woke up. Yep, she blinked! Cue confetti! This proves humanity is still salvageable.

Tsurumi Meiling, shaken awake, opened her beautiful eyes. They were hazy with drunkenness, long lashes fluttering. She still looked tipsy, cheeks flushed red. Compared to her usual self, she was like a different person, not much better than some random drunk on the street.

But though she’d lost the cool onee-san vibe from this morning, she’d picked up a bit of cuteness instead.

Tsurumi Meiling’s mind still seemed foggy. She looked dazed, lifted a hand, and rubbed her head like it felt really heavy.

“Xia… Chuanyuan… kun… why… are you… in my… house~!!!”

“You… this is… illegal tres…passing, you know!!!!”

“Sensei, you’re drunk. This is a hotel.”

“I’m… not drunk… how could I… pass out outside? It must be… a dream. Yeah, it’s… gotta be a dream. Pinch my… thigh. Doesn’t hurt~ yay! Definitely a dream! But it does… feel kinda real…”

“Sensei, if you want to check whether it’s a dream, sure, I fully support that. Seriously. It’ll help you recognize reality. But when you pinch a thigh, could you please pinch your own? Of course it doesn’t hurt when you pinch mine. I’m the one in pain here.”

“I… wasn’t pinching… my own… thigh?”

“No kidding!!!! This is my thigh. Of course it doesn’t hurt for you! The pain goes straight to my heart!”

“Sensei, just admit you’re drunk already.”

“Xia… Chuanyuan… kun, when I… push your hair… aside and look… you’re kinda… handsome, huh…”

“Sensei, you usually talk a lot of nonsense, but this time you’re actually being honest. They say, ‘drunks speak the truth.’ You’re already telling the truth—how are you still not admitting you’re drunk?”

“But… I feel like… when you’re not drunk… you don’t talk nonsense. So if I’m talking nonsense… I must be drunk~ ha!”

“…Yeah… Sensei, you’re really hammered. You already skipped past the ‘truth’ phase and went straight into ‘nonsense.’ Can’t let you keep talking. Pardon my rudeness! I’m going to use a secret ancestral technique to awaken the will sleeping inside you now! Yaaahhh!!!”

I shook Tsurumi Meiling like my life depended on it. This is a method proven by history, a legendary technique of the jianghu. I just used it to awaken her truth, goodness, and beauty; now I’m using it to awaken her will. Same move, different target.

“Stop shaking, stop shaking, it feels like my soul’s about to be shaken out of my body~ ah!!!”

“Knew it. This really is the most effective technique. An ultimate art that’s survived from ancient times till now. History only keeps the useful stuff.”

Tsurumi Meiling’s face turned pale, and there was something off about her expression. She still looked a bit dazed, but it shouldn’t be anything serious.

“So what’s with you… yelling your head off to wake me? I can’t believe I lost a drinking contest to you! To a total new…bie!”

“Sensei, there’s a problem you need to solve now.”

“What problem~ ah!”

“You got them all drunk. Did you ever think about how they’re getting back… and don’t drink anymore!!”

“That… glug… didn’t think about it. Why’d you have to wake me up!!!”

“You got them wasted and didn’t think of a way to deal with it? That’s on you, Sensei. You’re the one who said we should listen to our elders. Look, I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“Here… this is the key to my SUV. I’m leaving it to you. It’s a seven-seater. You’ll figure it out. Go for it. I’ve had way too much to drink… glug… can’t drive. It’s all on you.”

“How can you just hand me the car key without even asking if I can drive!”

“So can you drive or not? There, I asked.”

“Lucky for you I’m multi-talented. In the underworld, they call me the Drift God of Akina Mountain.”

“Akina… Mountain? What’s that? What mountain?”

“It’s… a mountain from my dreams. Very hardcore. Nine turns, eighteen bends. I’ll tell you about it another time. I already told you not to drink so much, but nope, you knew you’d get drunk and still kept drinking.”

“The rest is all up to you.”

“You’re really one irresponsible teacher, you know that? Tragic!!!”