"Don't you have anything to say?"

Xu Lingzhu stopped, hands on her hips, looking down at me. I was torn between laughter and tears, staring at that unspeakable object. Compared to soloing the girls' bathroom, a vibrator falling from the sky was nothing. I actually felt shamefully relieved.

I wanted to shout "It's a misunderstanding!" but that felt off. Sure, I'd done worse to the Student Council President, but this weird item wasn't my fault. Playing dumb was the move. Yeah!

"Ahem, are you mistaken? This is only our third meeting, right?" First time in the girls' bathroom, second on the tennis court, third now—should be correct, I said.

"T-third time?" Xu Lingzhu's expression turned even more forlorn, like a jilted bride. For the first time, that icy, aloof face unlocked a whole new set of expressions. "Isn't it you who duels me daily in Desecration?"

Wait! What did she say? That persistent creep who logs on just to get beaten up was her? That wasn't a duel—it was a one-sided slaughter!

There really was such a person—a hardcore fan. I glanced at Xu Lingzhu's slender frame. I couldn't picture her as that hulking, muscle-bound male character begging for a beating.

I'd thought it was some masochistic male stalker who'd magically become my school's Student Council President. So I did have female fans! My heart soared, but I firmly denied it: "Uh, of course not! You've got the wrong person!"

"You're lying! Your in-game character looks exactly like you!"

My face darkened. No more excuses. I finally spotted the huge flaw: when I got the beta account from Ouyang Lian, I never expected anyone nearby would recognize me. Naturally, I used face and body capture to create my avatar.

"Fine, fine. Impressive, President. You caught me... But you can't pin this vibrator on me!" I made a last-ditch effort—blame Ouyang Lian!

Xu Lingzhu turned away from the filthy thing, her cheek flushed, biting her lip in disappointment. "Stop dodging! That email was tied to your ID. Who else chats with me daily? At first, you said you'd send a gift... I even gave you my address, excitedly. I never expected you'd be this kind of porn streamer. I truly misjudged you!"

Huh? Blaming me again? You were the one insisting on daily duels and chatting with that brat! Are you dragging this drama from chat comments to real life?

I rolled my eyes. "Email? Sorry, my account settings are private—even friends can't see that. How'd you get it?"

Xu Lingzhu glanced at Gu Hengbo and snorted, refusing to explain.

Gu Hengbo looked between us. Unnoticed during the argument, the Student Council President's aura had crushed her into a corner of the sofa. Her teacherly dignity was long gone. Finally, she weakly raised a hand. "I-I hacked your email for Teacher Xu. Honestly, I study information engineering at the institute. Aren't you the legendary Teacher Hua? I never knew you taught here—truly better seen than heard! Vi-vibrator? Is this the secret to becoming more feminine?"

"No way!"

"No way!"

We shouted in unison.

Tea—Teacher Hua? Are you a comedian? I have a real name—and I'm in your class!

I was too tired to correct the idiot teacher's weird nickname. She must've asked Xu Lingzhu how to be more feminine, seeing her as some trendsetter.

One thing baffled me: Flawless Flower existed only in-game. I'd never revealed my looks or real voice—always using a fake one. But in the original novel The Proud Twins, he's male! Why was I mistaken for a girl in virtual worlds too?

Head throbbing, I said, "Hacking my account, Teacher Gu? That's illegal!"

Gu Hengbo shrank cutely, helplessly glancing at Xu Lingzhu—the instigator. This person was never fit to be a teacher from the start...

Xu Lingzhu stared into my eyes. Or was it my imagination? When she looked back, her eyes were slightly red. "Stop changing the subject! You're speechless now, aren't you? Won't you even apologize?"

Was her idol image shattered by reality? Sorry I'm not the burly muscleman she wanted. I sighed. Things were clear: the lie I'd tell next might turn my only female fan against me. How tragic.

"Alright, I get it now. Flawless Flower is me. Mr.Despair is me. But that email isn't mine—I've never logged in. I bought this beta account. I'll unbind it today. Explanation over."

Xu Lingzhu froze, searching my sincere eyes for truth. She glanced at Gu Hengbo, who nodded—this was possible.

My expression was flawless. Unless the Student Council President bluntly asked, "Were you the one in the girls' bathroom that day?", this ruse should perfectly cut ties with that brat Ouyang Lian.

"Believe me or not, this isn't my fault. If that's all, I'm heading back to class. Please don't bother me again."

As I tried to slip away, a gentle tug on my sleeve stopped me. That tiny gesture—easily misread by sensitive guys—made my heart race. I turned to the girl.

Xu Lingzhu's expression wasn't what I expected. No anger, no doubt—just sudden relief. Her face flushed crimson as she stammered, "A-are you mad? I'm sorry... I was too hasty. Thinking it over, someone like you wouldn't reply to a stranger's email. No wonder you ignored me sometimes. It must be some prankster. Truly sorry."

The evergreen goddess who ruled the student council with cold, robotic words now apologized like a guilty schoolgirl, tugging my sleeve. The air turned sweet and tense. What was this floating, dizzy feeling!?

Could she...?

Was this the conquest urge Xu Xian mentioned? My heartbeat pounded louder. My words stumbled. "Mm, uh, it's fine. I didn't mind."

"Great!"

Xu Lingzhu's face lit up with that mysterious, confident smile. All the cringy tension vanished as she swept past her earlier mistakes.

Huh? Over already? Give me my youth back!

Next second, I cursed my own foolish "long live youth" thoughts. A devoted female fan? Wishful thinking...

Xu Lingzhu slapped my shoulder, eyes blazing with fervor. Her lips parted like a machine gun: "Filled out the club application yet? No? Do it here. From today, you're mine!"

*Slam!* She slapped a form on the table, all business.

I'd almost forgotten—this girl logged on daily just to get crushed. Not normal at all. Dazed, I stared at that club application form clinging to me like a parasite. The big letter G stood out glaringly.

Why is everyone around me like this...?