Enemy forces arriving in 30 seconds. Crush them!

I maneuvered my Void Prophet to the turret at Summoner’s Rift center, locking horns with the enemy Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit. That little fox, banking on her champion mastery, taunted me just outside my turret’s range—mocking gestures and seductive giggles dripping with provocation.

“Let’s have some fun~”

Could I even stomach this?

Yeah, I could忍. I clicked my mouse frantically, swaying left and right before her, baiting her damage skill to dodge it.

Huh? She actually moved! Seeing her push the Orb of Deception outward, I figured she’d test with her Q skill. I swayed in a pendulum dodge, thumb already on my remapped non-targeted E skill—ready to pounce on her mistake and counter-attack!

“Heh heh heh heh~~ Hey!”

Damn, I fell for it!

Her orb thrust wasn’t a skill—it was a fake taunt emote. Spotting my dodge direction, she instantly hurled the orb at me.

Sigh~ No escape. The little fox’s orb slammed me for full damage; my health plummeted a quarter. My counter missed completely—my skill range couldn’t reach her tail, let alone graze it…

With both hands, I’d have dodged easily. Frowning in frustration, I glanced at my right hand—useless on the battlefield.

“What’re you staring at? How’d I teach you? Can’t dodge this? Mumu, you’re embarrassing me!” Xier lifted her head from my shoulder, teasing mockingly at my conflicted face.

Ah~~~~ I wanted to curse someone. Xier? But I’d just begged her help. Forget it—curse the little fox instead!

(Stupid fox! Level 6, I’ll one-shot you!)

I typed this one-handed into chat. Frustration bled out instantly—calming me while riling the enemy. Trash-talking’s common here. Why do they lose? ’Cause they tilt teammates into quitting.

(Oh? Think I can’t counter-kill you in seconds?)

Yo! Didn’t peg the little fox as hot-headed too. Fighting me head-on? I’ll make you call me dad! My no-brainer gaming habit flared again…

(If you counter-kill me, I’ll kowtow and lick for you!)

(Deal! Ah Mu, I hate your arrogance. Don’t regret losing!)

“Me? Lose? Impossible~” I grinned into the mic, oozing confidence.

Xier, hugging me from behind, watched the chat and my smirk. Curious, she pinched my waist, whispering:

“Hua Shu, you seem like a different person. I don’t get this game, but you’re way too arrogant.”

“Ah! My siege minion! Xier, not now—later!”

I didn’t catch her whisper. All I knew: at level 6’s power spike, I’d kill that fox. We both hit level 5. I ignored the “first to 100 minions” rule. Half health vs. her two-thirds? Level 6 would make her explode before casting a spell—solo kill, fox lessons served!

A smile curled my lips. I’d scripted her death in every way. Lose? Sorry, not an option.

Minions clashed fearlessly under us in the rift. Our XP bars neared level 6—just two minions left. I pre-summoned a Voidling. Before killing the last minion, my hand left the mouse, primed to flash my R skill the instant the level-up glow hit—sending her sky-high before she reacted!

Now! Instant learn!

E + Ignite, Flash to dodge Charm! Perfect~

W Void Zone and R ultimate fired together!

You’re already dea…d?

Not dead!?

My ultimate misfired—single-hand speed gave her reaction time. She didn’t panic. Calmly, she used her two-segment R dash to pull away.

“Heh, quick escape. But where’s your counter-kill?”

(OMG! Mumu scared off a King-ranked fox one-handed!)

(6666666 A hair faster, she’d be dead.)

(Streamer’s overconfident! Still amazing!)

Commentator 55kai lit a cigarette at the booth, slammed the table, and yelled:

“Nice! That fox’s smart. Mumu’s play had a big mistake—faster, he’d have won.”

Heh, whatever. No kill this time, but if she recalls, I’ll crush her level and gold. If she stays with that sliver of health? One R could kill three of her!

Watching her recall under turret, I froze the minion wave perfectly—leaving three ranged minions. I’d recall too, snowballing gold and levels. Slow death. Boiling frog style.

As I pondered post-recall items, the screen flashed black and white.

Stunned, I stared at the glaring “Defeat” center-screen. The system prompt echoed:

Defeat!

I… lost?

“Stupid Mumu, I’m waiting at home for your kowtow and lick!”