(Mumu, you're so pro! 6666666666)

(Mumu, I wanna have your babies!)

(Streamer, you scheming bitch! Bullying that pure-hearted little Pantheon player.)

(With that play, anyone would’ve died!)

(Exactly! If I were up there, I’d die too~ {serious face})

Watching the enemy on screen surrender with “GoodGame” after I crushed them, I shook my overworked left hand and sighed in relief. Pulling off that entire combo with just one hand was still exhausting. Besides, this wasn’t my old calloused hand anymore—it was Xiao Shan’s frail, tender one. Though more agile, it felt sore and weak after such nonstop action.

“Haaah~ My hand’s so sore. Gotta rest before my solo match against Little Fox in ten minutes. Might as well check how the stream platform’s ads turned out too. Hehe.”

(Mumu, seriously, don’t look.)

(C’mon, you’ll see it eventually. Stay strong, streamer!)

(This ad’s also 66!)

(Mumu, don’t cry—stand up and fight!)

Huh? Why’d they say that when I mentioned checking the ads? Could the platform mods be blacklisting me? Unbelievable. For ratings, they’d do anything. Nervously, I opened the live site and stared at the pinned ad slogan… Ugh, just let me put on my “I’ve been screwed” face already!

【SHOCKING: Top Streamer Mumu Receives Public Confession Today!】

【Little Fox’s Yuri Romance Sparks Martial Arts Suitor Contest!】

【PRIZE: Loser Joins “Stream to Your Home” Event—All Expenses Paid! Three Days of Intimate Live Streaming at Winner’s Location!】

Heh heh heh… Is this the lazy title they slapped together? So long and so damn random! Should’ve told them to write “Number One Martial Arts Tournament Under Heaven”… Feels like trouble no matter if I win or lose. And platform admins—you went too far! Photoshopping my pic to look so sexy under the headline just for views? Who even took this screenshot?! The timing’s filthy—that stretch when my “little bunnies” were straining tight, perfectly captured. Total Mount Akina veteran move…

“Achoo!”

A chubby guy sneezed, pushed up his slipping glasses, and kept frantically clicking on Hua Shu’s picture, no clue what he was doing.

…

5:00 PM

“Welcome, everyone, to this match! I’m your commentator and referee—Wuhu Big Melon Skin! Or, as you all adore, Teacher Ma!”

(Teacher! My roommate’s dying wish was to see you lose once!)

(The student upstairs’s got spirit~)

(Ahhh~ Guapi commentating? This’ll be fun!)

Seeing those familiar chat messages, Teacher Ma didn’t get mad. He happily soaked up the jokes. As the oldest pro streamer, he knew which comments were genuine and which were just trolling.

“Heh heh heh~ Why me? ‘Cause I’ve got zero female fans! Seriously though, commentating two gorgeous streamers dueling? Bliss.”

(Will Teacher Lady make you kneel on LEGO bricks, sensei?)

(Gonna get a triangle-shaped beating, huh~)

(Let’s edge-OB this.)

“Alright, no more messing around. Today’s suitor contest is best-of-three: Game one, champion select; game two, random champs; final game, audience picks!”

Honestly, I’m a Da Sima fan too—kinda his half-female fan. Never thought he’d cast my match. His rules actually favor me… Hmm. I’ve never seen Little Fox play anything but Ahri.

“Both players are in champ select now. Blue side’s Little Fox instantly locks Ahri! Red side’s Mumu seems hesitant—switching between Yasuo and Malzahar. Her Yasuo’s clever, so why hesitate? Yasuo counters Ahri hard.”

(Guapi Ma, stfu—you don’t know she’s one-handed now! Right hand’s injured!)

(Yeah! “National First Kha’Zix”? Old man, Guapi!)

(Unsubscribing now!!!!)

(Above, idiot—this is the official stream!)

What to pick… With two hands, I’d stomp her on Yasuo. But one-handed? Malzahar’s strong for duels and I can handle him solo. Yeah, him it is.

*Clang!*

The champ select sound chimed. I silently set my summoner spells to Ignite and Flash. Against Ahri, dodging her E Charm is key. Malzahar has no dashes—I need Flash. And I’m aiming to kill her at level six, so Ignite ensures the burst!