Episode 8: However, It’s Utterly Useless

Morning sunlight streamed through the windowsill, bathing my bed and my lifeless body—limp as a dead dog. That old geezer had forced me into so many “academic experiments” yesterday, all under the noble guise of “advancing magitechnology.” He was just salty about my talent, but even more so about me blowing up his lab.

“Stingy old coot,” I mumbled into my pillow. “He didn’t even lose anything important, yet he went this hard on me!”

“Stingy old coot? Do you mean Master?”

“Whoa! Helle? How’d you get in here?”

“I used the key.” She jangled it in her hand. Right—she’d set up this room herself. Of course she had a key.

“You still knock! Privacy, hello?” I stayed face-down on the bed, half-dead.

“Breakfast time. Get up!”

“Hmph. Today, no one tears me from my beloved bed.” I clutched the sheets tightly.

“Then I’ll tell Master you’re lazing in bed and called him a stinky old man, a cheapskate who hates baths, drinks too much with terrible manners—puking everywhere—and tosses dirty clothes around. Oh, and he’s picky with food, throwing tantrums when meals don’t suit him.”

“Stop making stuff up! Only the first two are true—the rest are your own gripes! You’ve been bottling up stress, Miss Helle!”

Helle turned to leave. I leaped out of bed. “Wait! I’m sorry! I’ll eat breakfast right now. I adore your cooking, Helle.”

Flattery always works. Helle’s face, Mashang, cleared from cloudy to sunny, a grin bursting through.

“Hmph. Smart move.”

“You’ve changed so much, Helle. When we first met, you were ice-cold—soft-spoken, calling me ‘young master.’”

“What? You don’t like it?” She crossed her arms, shooting me a massive eye-roll. Her facial expressions were multiplying exponentially. Was she aiming to be the queen of facial artistry?

“How could I not? Smiling Helle is a hundred times prettier than usual!”

“Wha—? Don’t spout nonsense this early!” Her cheeks flushed as she spun and dashed downstairs.

Blushing? Seriously, she was way cuter than that emotionless, three-nothing maid. My fatigue melted away. After a quick wash, I headed downstairs.

“Yo~! If it isn’t Mr. Useless?” Monaluna greeted me with a sneer.

“Ha! Morning, Crybaby Miss.” I shot back.

“Enough, you two. Just eat.” The Old Mage glared down at his plate, still grumpy. “We resume combat drills after.”

*Thud!* My head hit the table.

“Haha! Brat, don’t be scared. I’ll be ‘gentle’ with you!”

Ignoring Monaluna’s gloating, I mechanically shoveled food into my mouth. Memories of yesterday’s sunset sprint flashed by—my lost youth.

***

“Master, please accept my condolences! As they say, out with the old, in with the new. Sinking me in Moon Lake won’t fix anything.” Half an hour after the explosion, most items were salvaged, but some were gone forever. I was trying to dissuade the Old Mage from weighting me with stones and tossing me into Moon Lake.

“I’m just joking. Your case is unique—high research value. Assist me with a few ‘small experiments,’ and I’ll drop it. Purely academic, of course. Voluntary.”

“Ahaha! For magitechnology’s progress, I’m all in!” Voluntary? Yeah, right. His face screamed, *Try saying no.* How could I refuse?

“Good lad! Monaluna, help Grandpa!”

What? Why call her? A bad feeling crept in.

“What now?” Monaluna leaned out a second-floor window, eyes red-rimmed, voice hoarse. She’d cried hard after my yelling earlier. A twinge of guilt hit me.

“Come down. Blast this brat with magic. I need test data.”

Test data my ass! Since when do experiments involve blasting people? He’s using this as an excuse to kill me! He saw me yell at his granddaughter—he gets to punish me *and* soothe her. Clever, wise mage!

Before I processed it, Monaluna was in the backyard. So eager to hit me? Whoa—steam practically shot from her nose! That tiny guilt vanished instantly.

“Start with beginner spells. No aiming for vitals! I know your tricks, but this should be easy for you.” The Old Mage chanted, slapping two buffs on me: *Steadfast* and *Ironhide*.

“Screw this!” I bolted. Waiting to die wasn’t my style. Falling into that girl’s hands meant no escape—her “glorious deeds” were fresh in my mind.

I sprinted for the back door. Reach a public spot, and Monaluna wouldn’t dare use magic—she couldn’t risk exposing herself as the Redhaired Witch. But dreams fade fast. Freedom was inches away when I slammed into an invisible wall.

“A Magic Array? What did I ever do to you?!” Monaluna snapped to attention. The Old Mage tossed her a staff. She began chanting.

“Here goes nothing!” I roared to steel myself. Magic Arrays work like spells—I’d disrupt them with my willpower. I focused, pressing my right hand against the barrier, trying to seize control of the elements. Nothing budged.

“Hmm. So you can’t command any soul-inscribed elements—not even a Magic Array’s.” The Old Mage scribbled notes. He really *was* experimenting. Should I feel flattered?!

“Fireball!” Monaluna’s staff tip glowed. The spell shot toward me. I ducked. It hit the barrier. I cupped my left hand—a faint, impure magic swirl formed, mostly fire and earth elements.

“Oh? Fascinating! Spent magic turns inert and soul-uninscribed, unusable for hours. But you bypass that?” He scribbled furiously.

“Save me instead of geeking out!” I dodged desperately. Monaluna’s spells grew faster, sharper. I bent under an air blast, rolled past two fireballs. The magic in my hand dissipated—I could gather it but not wield it. Maintaining it while running was agony.

Dodging left and right, some hits landed, but the buffs minimized damage. Unnoticed, I neared my target—the note-taking Old Mage. Revenge time.

“Now!” I skidded to a halt, lunged forward, and dodged an air blast. It *thwacked* straight into the Old Mage’s forehead. He crumpled.

*Serves you right!* I snatched two books from his pile—*Intro to Magical Inscriptions* and *Basic Spell Compendium*. Perfect. I stuffed them into my robe.

“Grandpa! Are you okay?” Monaluna dropped her staff, rushing to him.

“Fine, fine! Nana’s magic packs a punch! Grandpa’s proud!” Joseph the Old Mage stood unharmed—thanks to his dull gray robe. My instincts were right: since escaping the crystal ball, my magic sense sharpened. I’d suspected that robe was special.

“Drills end here. You’ve got sharp instincts and immense willpower. Sadly, you can only use wild, ownerless magic elements. Too thin to fight with. So despite your talent…”

“But?”

“It’s utterly useless!”

“Next: soul-inscription tests and elemental control. Nana, rest up.”

“No, Grandpa! I suddenly find magic fascinating. Let me join the experiments!” Monaluna clung to his arm.

“Fine. Start with elemental mixes, then inscriptions.”

“Hey! What about my opinion?” I was ignored.

“Here. Separate this chaotic element mix.” The Old Mage conjured a swirling mass with a Magic Array.

“Easy!” I focused, guiding wind and earth elements to each hand.

“Good. Your willpower shines.” He seemed pleased. This was simple. “Next test.”

“Wait, Grandpa! We must be rigorous.” Monaluna cut in. “Two elements are too random. Test every combination!”

“Wise. Let’s proceed!”

I knew it—she skipped her beloved naps for revenge. I ran through all non-conflicting pairs. No surprises. I smirked at Monaluna: *Satisfied now?*

“Ooh! What about three elements?” Monaluna grinned slyly at the Old Mage.

“Essential test!”

*Ask me first!*

Later…

“Grandpa, what about four elements?”

“Essential test!”

Later still…

“Five elements need testing too!”

“Essential test!”

And again…

“We tested five common elements, but what about the five rare ones? Rigor!”

“Essential test!”

And again…

“Rare and common mixes might yield different results!”

“Essential test!”

…

“Master, do you have any mana crystals left?”