1.

It was a sweltering summer—the hottest in ten years. White heat shimmered above the ground, blurring the whole world around them.

The Capital of the Celestial Empire

This was where power converged, a city where miracles, filth, and dazzling splendor all played out...

The rich could live it up here, drowning in luxury and never having to worry about life’s hardships. But the outsiders who came seeking a share of the city’s wealth, along with ordinary people scraping by at the bottom, struggled to claim even a tiny corner for themselves, each fighting to survive.

Downtown, where karaoke bars sang late into the night.

A white Land Rover slowly rolled into an underground parking garage. Two young men sat inside, dressed so neatly and formally that they looked like they were headed to some kind of party.

Mo Yuchuan sat in the driver’s seat. After neatly squeezing the car into a parking spot that looked almost impossible to fit into, he unfastened his seat belt and got ready to climb out.

But his roommate of four years, sitting in the passenger seat, still hadn’t moved. Instead, he clutched his stomach with the expression of someone who’d been constipated for months.

Mo Yuchuan gave him a tap. “Hey, Chu Yao, you ready? If you are, then let’s get in there.”

Chu Yao’s face had turned green. His whole body trembled, and he looked like he didn’t have long to live. For a long while, he couldn’t get a word out.

“Hey, hey, are you okay? Did something happen to you?! Don’t scare me!”

Seeing his roommate looking like he was about to meet some blue-haired idiot goddess, Mo Yuchuan realized something was wrong and started to get nervous.

Chu Yao spoke in a trembling voice. “I... want...”

“You want—?!”

“I want to take a dump...”

“...”

Eat shit, you bastard!

If you need to take a dump, then take a dump! But why do you look like you’re about to die? Is it really that bad?!

But the moment Chu Yao said it, Mo Yuchuan couldn’t sit still anymore. His voice shot up.

“What the hell? This is the only mixer we’ve had in four years of college! The only one! The only one! Loli-Con and Blue Fatty are already there, everyone else has shown up, and we’re the only ones missing. You bastard, you’re seriously bailing on me now?”

It was important, so he had to say it three times: this was the only mixer they’d had in four years of college.

If they missed it, they might as well stay single for the rest of their lives.

“Shit, this is your fault! You got so excited about the mixer yesterday that you couldn’t sleep, then dragged me out drinking! Now we’ve overslept, and I feel like I need to squat on the toilet for five hundred years!”

“All right, all right, it’s my fault. Go use the toilet. I’ll wait for you.”

“You go on ahead. I’ll be there in a bit.”

“Come on, hurry up and go. I’ll wait here.”

Mo Yuchuan waved irritably, urging him to go unleash the ‘mudslide’ already.

As if! He was a twenty-something virgin♂ who’d been single his whole life. How awkward would it be to walk into that mixer alone?

Chu Yao understood. His buddy was a bit of a loner, after all. He searched the car, found no toilet paper, and asked:

“Hey, Chuanzi, do you have any toilet paper?”

“Nope.”

“Buy me a pack on your way back. I gotta go!”

But just as he unfastened his seat belt, a loud “Pfft!” rang out. Chu Yao and Mo Yuchuan’s faces instantly turned beet red.

“You bastard! You farted in the car!”

Mo Yuchuan flung the car door open and got out to escape the stench. Then he noticed Chu Yao looked off, as if there was something he couldn’t bring himself to say.

“Chuanzi, I’m about to tell you something important. Don’t panic.”

“...It’s fine. Go ahead.”

“You have to believe me. I really just wanted to let out some gas...”

Mo Yuchuan’s brow kept twitching. He stared at Chu Yao without expression and asked with a humorless smile, “And then?”

“Damn it, do you really have to make me say it? I accidentally shit myself, okay?! Happy now? Don’t make me spell it out, you idiot!”

“Holy shit, you bastard! And now you’re blaming me? We borrowed this car from someone! You actually sh-shat yourself?!”

“I’m done talking. I’m heading out first. Chuanzi, hurry up and buy me a new pair of pants and some toilet paper. Meet me in the bathroom!”

“Just get the hell out already!”

He’d wanted to kick the guy in the ass, but remembered the ‘mudslide’ packed between his cheeks. His leg jerked back as if it had cramped.

Chu Yao climbed out of the car looking utterly miserable, like he’d taken a fatal blow to the crotch. He walked toward the underground garage’s restroom with an incredibly painful-looking pigeon-toed gait.

Mo Yuchuan couldn’t help slapping a hand over his face. He let out a long sigh.

It was over. It was all over...

Today’s mixer was a bust.

The only mixer in four years of college... Figures. Someone like me was destined to stay single forever.

Well, yeah. He was such a loner, and such a pushover. Whenever he ran into an unpleasant social situation, he usually just put up with it and let it pass...

But Mo Yuchuan absolutely refused to call himself a pushover. He was simply following the principle that it was better to avoid trouble than invite it!

Anyway, he’d been single since he was a kid. Now, after finally getting a key to open the door to the adult world, his roommate had blown his chance away with one simple fart!

“Sigh, whatever. A girlfriend could never be as fun as video games. Isn’t it great to go out and have fun with the bros every day? Getting a girlfriend means spending all your time keeping her happy and a ton of money supporting her. Better to stay single...”

Mo Yuchuan accepted his fate and set off to buy pants for the culprit who’d caused all this.

Before he left, he smacked the steering wheel in frustration, then leaned back and shouted in despair, “Chu Yao, you bastard! If I get the chance, I’ll make your ass explode!”

He didn’t think about it any longer. Mo Yuchuan went out to buy Chu Yao a pair of pants. Maybe he did it on purpose, because it took him a full half hour.

By the time he brought the pants and toilet paper to the restroom, Chu Yao could barely squat or stand. He looked like a man with kidney deficiency, pale and weak. Maybe he’d gone limp. If you asked Mo Yuchuan, the guy was probably done for. (How cruel.)

The two of them silently got into the car, making no attempt to pick a fight. When they pulled up outside Chu Yao’s apartment, Chu Yao broke the silence. “Um, Chuanzi, I was thinking...”

“No. You weren’t.”

Mo Yuchuan opened the car door and made a ‘please’ gesture.

“Ahem. All right, then. See you tomorrow.”

Chu Yao got out awkwardly, still trying to figure out how to make Mo Yuchuan keep today’s events a secret.

Once Chu Yao was out, Mo Yuchuan drove straight back to his own apartment building.

As he climbed the stairs, Mo Yuchuan yawned. “Haaah... I’m so sleepy. I feel like I’ve been especially tired lately...”

When he got home, Mo Yuchuan didn’t care that it was the middle of the day. He went into his bedroom, casually stripped off his formal clothes, and flopped facedown onto the bed.

“Oh, right. I still need to set an alarm... I have to make dinner for Xiaoxiao tonight...”

Still lying facedown, Mo Yuchuan reached toward the bedside table and blindly pressed a few buttons. Once he clearly heard the click of a button being pushed, he sank into a deep sleep.

One dream, and a thousand worries forgotten.

............

The Next Morning

In the faint morning light, the sun brushed warmly and gently against his skin. A lovely softness rested in his arms, and when he hugged it a little tighter, a lazy little breath escaped.

Half-asleep, Mo Yuchuan knew that his daughter, Mo Xiaoxiao, had climbed into his bed again.

“Haaah...”

He yawned with his eyes closed. Mo Yuchuan had slept incredibly well.

His dream... He couldn’t quite remember what it was about. He only remembered that it involved yesterday’s mixer and was filled with negativity. The dream had felt so real that even now, after waking up, he could still feel its lingering effects.

Huh? Is it morning already? Didn’t I set an alarm?

Suddenly, he realized something was wrong. He jolted awake.

That voice just now? Huh? These pale, delicate hands? And this hair...

This is... me?

He turned his head. Reflected in the mirror was a girl whose beauty outshone the bright moon, as lovely as a flower at dawn. Her flawless face was exquisitely sculpted, not a single feature out of place. Her hair was silver as snow, and her eyes sparkled with starlight.

“...”

Damn, I’m cute!