“

“So you’re afraid of heights, Mr. Ojer?!”

Eileen’s eyes widened, disbelief spreading across her delicate, adorable face.

I craned my neck, mortified. I even wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

“D-don’t… don’t talk nonsense! H-how can you call a skeleton afraid of heights?!”

“Well… I was just being modest, that’s all…”

I handed her the rope.

“Why don’t you give it a try first, Eileen…?”

“Huh?!”

The girl shook her head over and over, clutching her staff as she took two steps back.

“Are you serious, Mr. Ojer?!”

“Ahaha… no… I mean…”

【Could you at least act like a decent person?】

Paper-chan seemed unable to watch any longer and mocked me.

［……］

I sighed and looked up at the few cold glints high above. My throat bobbed.

“I’m starting to regret taking this quest…”

【A man keeps his word. Since you accepted it, you have to see it through.】

I gave a bitter laugh.

［I mean, you’re not wrong…］

But how were we supposed to get up there…? Were we really going to climb all the way up…?

“Eileen, you don’t know any flying skills, climbing skills, or wind magic?”

She shook her head.

“The kingdom strictly forbids teaching flight magic. You can only learn it at the National Sun Radiance Academy, and the requirements are incredibly demanding. Ordinary people can’t even get near it.”

I tilted my head, puzzled.

“Why?”

“Because the kingdom’s ground forces aren’t very strong. After the Demon God invaded all those years ago and we paid a terrible price, the Royal Institute of Magic devoted itself to researching flight magic. Now the kingdom has the Celestial Radiance Legion, nearly twenty thousand strong. They’re all aerial combat units, each with exceptional fighting ability and equipment far beyond what ordinary adventurers can match.”

I was a little surprised to hear so much new information.

The Celestial Radiance Legion… the National Sun Radiance Academy…

Strategic-level magic monopolized by the state…

“Huh?!”

Something suddenly occurred to me…

［Paper-chan, you said aircraft in this world have barely been researched at all, right?］

The cold voice quickly answered me.

【Correct. Because magic and runes exist, this world never developed along the same industrial and physics-based technological path as Earth. And setting magic aside, its overall technology is around the level of Earth’s late Middle Ages. The people are content just to have enough to eat and get by. Under those circumstances, no one would bother researching something as difficult and unrewarding as aircraft.】

［Heh.］

I chuckled.

【I think I’ve got a pretty good idea~】

Before Paper-chan could ask what I meant, I dropped the rope on the ground. After checking that no one was nearby, I took off my armor.

“Huh? What are you doing, Mr. Ojer?”

I gave her a mysterious smile and stretched my limbs.

“Eileen, remember that aircraft I told you about—the one called a ‘helicopter’?”

The girl nodded, looking confused.

“I remember, but… what does that have to do with our quest?”

“I’m going to show you today!”

I crouched a little and twisted my whole body into a knot, like a rope wound tight, storing up a huge amount of energy.

“Behold the Skeleton-copter!!”

“Here I go! Fly!”

Smack!

“Ow!!”

“……”

【……】

I crashed into a tree. It felt like a death metal band had started playing in my head, and everything was ringing.

“Ah… what happened…?”

Eileen walked over and picked two white objects up off the ground. Her expression was complicated, and her tone was helpless.

“Mr. Ojer, you…”

“You just twisted your legs right off…”

“……”

I stared at the two severed foot bones in her hands, then looked down at my own legs. I froze for two seconds.

“Ah…”

【Wait, don’t—】

“Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!”

“Come to think of it, it doesn’t hurt at all…”

I set my severed foot against the injury and had Paper-chan use up all her memory to stimulate the faint self-healing ability in my body.

【This system turned off your sense of pain ages ago.】

［Huh?! You can turn off pain?!］

Paper-chan paused for half a second, then brought up my status screen in my field of vision.

【This system can manage all your senses and sensations. You’re nothing but a skeleton now, so you don’t have any nerves for feeling pain. What you call pain is just an illusion this system automatically creates when your body is damaged.】

【But last time you were badly hurt, you screamed like you were in agony. So this system decided to turn it off for you.】

I was deeply moved!

［Paper-chan… QvQ］

【…Get lost. That’s disgusting.】

“……”

“Are you all right, Mr. Ojer…?”

Eileen sat down beside me and touched the spot where my bone had broken, looking worried.

“Ah, I’m fine now. I’m made of tough stuff!”

Eileen felt around and saw that after only a few minutes, the bone at the injury site was smooth and whole again, without a single crack.

“It really is… amazing…”

I gave her a helpless smile, feeling a little conflicted.

“Sigh… looks like this approach isn’t going to work…”

I stood up and bounced around a little. Once I was sure I could move without trouble, I looked up at those silver blossoms.

“Dad gave us a week… but…”

“Emmmm… are we really going to have to find someone to learn the Climbing skill…?”

Seeing that I wasn’t seriously hurt, Eileen came over and asked me:

“What were you trying to do just now, Mr. Ojer?”

“Ah, when I was a kid, I played with a toy called a ‘bamboo-copter.’ It works on more or less the same principle as a helicopter, so I thought I’d give it a try…”

【Is your brain full of water or something?】

I jumped.

［W-what’s wrong…?］

【They don’t work on the same principle at all! What were you even listening to in class?】

［I… I majored in mathematics! And I never went to class in college…］

Paper-chan sounded exasperated.

【Anyway, you can’t fly that way. Try another method.】

“Emmmmmm.”

Eileen saw me deep in thought and copied me, swaying her little head as the ahoge on top of it traced circles.

The two of us thought it over…

“Ah!”

Eileen was the first to break the silence.

“Mr. Ojer, doesn’t your helicopter need to spin really fast?”

“Yeah.”

“Then could you draw me a rough diagram of how it’s built?”

“Oh, sure.”

I found a clear patch of ground and used my short sword to scratch a rough picture of a helicopter into the dirt.

“Hmm…”

Eileen looked puzzled.

So I gave her a rough explanation.

“A helicopter gets lift mainly by spinning these two blades really fast. The little rotor on the tail cancels out the reaction force. Once the big rotor reaches a certain speed, the helicopter can take off and land vertically.”

Eileen blinked, then nodded as if she understood—more or less—and pointed at the two blades.

“I don’t really get it… but as long as you make these two… propellers? spin fast enough, that’s all you need, right?”

I nodded.

“Then you could use runes or magic to do that!”

“Huh?”

When she saw that I didn’t understand, Eileen started explaining in a flurry of gestures.

“Some runes can make objects or all kinds of vehicles move at high speed. Rune trains, for example, have more than a hundred different runes installed in their central power unit, including [High Speed], [Stability], and [Instant Start]. I think Dad could get us a [High Speed] rune. For a [Rotation] rune, we could ask the guild.”

“Really?!”

“Mm… but… they probably won’t be cheap. I’d say they’d cost at least a few dozen gold coins…”

“……”

That was about as useful as saying nothing…

My excitement immediately sank…

Seeing my mood swing from excited to downcast, Eileen hurried to explain.

“Um! Actually, we don’t need runes!”

I looked up.

“What do you mean?”

“Runes are just a way of storing magic in a special medium through special methods, so you can use it whenever you want.”

“But making something spin really fast isn’t that difficult. And because your body is special, Mr. Ojer, it should actually be pretty easy for you.”

“Really?!”

She nodded, but her expression was a little complicated.

“Mm… well…”

“What is it?!”

Eileen hesitated, then pointed at my chest.

“Since you’re a Life-and-Death Spirit, Mr. Ojer, you’re still an undead creature at your core. So you should be able to use [Undead Manipulation] to control yourself, give the command ‘rotate your arms,’ and then tell them to ‘speed up.’ With magic, you can do things you normally couldn’t.”

“It’s that simple?”

“In theory, yes… but…”

I tilted my head again.

“In theory?”

“Mm. I don’t know how fast you’d need to spin. If it has to be really, really fast… you might run into problems with your magic…”

“Magic…”

Magic in this world isn’t set in stone. There’s a concept of magical power, something like MP and AP.

Even the limit of ten undead I could control with [Undead Manipulation], which Paper-chan had told me about before, was just an estimate based on my magical power. As my level went up, my magic limit—or really, my MP limit—would increase, and my skills would grow stronger too.

For example, I hadn’t learned Fireball and had Eileen cast it instead because all I could do right now was conjure a fireball about the size of a sandbag, and it could only fly five or six meters…

Eileen, on the other hand, could summon three fireballs the size of basketballs and send them dozens of meters in the blink of an eye.

【As for your magic, don’t worry. This system will use every last bit of its energy to help you complete this test.】

［Huh? Really?!］

Paper-chan’s generosity suddenly gave me hope.

【Mm. This will be extremely valuable test data, so this system will make sure to record it properly.】

【However, you’ll have to do the actual controlling yourself.】

［What a hassle…］

I rubbed my head, spread my arms, and coated both of them with [Bone Blade].

“Guess I have no choice!!”

Eileen caught on and ran to one side to cheer me on.

“You can do it, Mr. Ojer!!”

“Yeah!!”

I called back, then spoke in my mind:

［Paper-chan, are you ready?!］

【A new quest log has been created. All other systems are now silent. Energy reserves are fully prepared.】

【Please begin your performance.】

［All right…］

I shook my head and prepared to chant the spell that would cast [Undead Manipulation] on myself.

【Oh, right.】

［Hmm?］

【Ding-dong.】

I froze.

What was that? Was there an achievement for this, too?

【Ojer】

【Achievement unlocked: I F***ing Control Myself】

【Requirements: Cast a control spell or slave magic on yourself.】

【Note: The saddest thing in life isn’t dying single. It’s not even being able to use yourself.】

“Me?!!”

I froze like a statue as achievement notifications streamed past my eyes. In my ear, Paper-chan let out a cold, unbearably smug laugh, as if she were enjoying the show.

【I F***ing Control Myself】

【You’re a real savage. My impression of your standards has dropped considerably.】

[…]

That day, I made up my mind.

From now on,

I’m definitely getting this artificial idiot out of my head—aaahhhhh!!!!