Hit novels are all alike; every flop fails in its own way.

As one of the many authors whose novels flopped, Gao Sijin had always stuck to one principle: see things through to the end.

He knew that dropping a book could cut his losses, but Gao Sijin still finished the novel that nobody had ever cared about.

It had been snowing outside all day. When Gao Sijin typed the final period, the snow didn’t dramatically stop, and the Earth kept on spinning.

Apart from adding a little more junk data to the vast sea of information, his novel had contributed nothing.

“Whew~”

He took some barley tea from the fridge and gulped it down, feeling alive again.

He sat back down at his computer and sent a message to his novel’s group chat: Guys, it’s finished!

A few minutes later, a handful of kind readers left comments in the novel’s completion thread: “Flowers for the finale!”

And so, the yandere maid and her kind master lived an almost perfect life, surrounded by the beauties of his harem.

Meanwhile, the man who’d created them was still alone in his rented room, worrying over life’s little burdens.

“Congratulations, you two…”

As insignificant as an ant, he still sincerely wished his glamorous fictional characters well.

Why finish a novel that was such a flop, anyway?

He felt that the people in a novel’s world were just like real people. If even the author couldn’t stand his own characters, then they’d be truly pitiful.

Abandoning a novel was tantamount to killing them.

Gao Sijin had irresponsible parents, so he didn’t want the fictional characters he thought of as his “children” to end up with an irresponsible author, too.

After finishing the book, Gao Sijin thought he might as well quit writing. Typing was exhausting, and the pay was terrible.

But he didn’t want to give up just like that.

Given enough time, even a monkey pounding on a keyboard could write Shakespeare’s complete works.

Gao Sijin figured he couldn’t be any worse than a monkey.

What should he write about in his next book?

A man appeared in his mind: able to summon a pack of wolves, with a silver spear in hand.

Then there was a gender-swapped Dong Zhuo, transformed into a gorgeous yandere big sister, locking the young and helpless Liu Xie in a dark room to do unspeakable things to him while the officials fumed in silence.

One world of swords and magic after another began to take shape in his mind. There were so many stories to tell in this life—how could he stop now?

Don’t you dare stop, Gao Sijin!

—Ahem, ahem.

Just then, a special sound effect came from his computer: someone had added him as a friend.

Gao Sijin sprang out of bed. Anyone who added him to a group made him happy. He firmly believed that fate had brought them together.

“Oh, this person seems cool.”

The person who’d added him was using Yuyuko Saigyouji as their avatar. Gao Sijin loved listening to Touhou music while writing, especially Yuyuko’s theme, which he could listen to over and over. Even his phone wallpaper and computer desktop featured Yuyuko.

And that username’s got something to it, too…

“Xiao Ai’s Fiancée.”

Xiao Ai was an affectionate nickname some readers used for Gao Sijin’s pen name.

He opened her profile. Her gender was listed as female, and both her hometown and current location were in Kanagawa, Country J.

“The cherry blossoms blooming back home?”

Based on Gao Sijin’s years of experience spotting scams, girls rarely used anime avatars.

In the virtual world, she was sweet-voiced, soft-bodied, and easy to push over. In real life, she might whip something out that was bigger than yours.

He kept the snark to himself and accepted “her” request to join the group.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: Hi, everyone! I’m Xiao Ai’s fiancée. I’m an Aquarius girl~

“Her” arrival hit the quiet group like a bomb, bringing it back to life in an instant.

The group members all demanded that “she” post a photo. Messages flooded the chat one after another, and in no time it was at 99+.

Group Member A: Post a photo!

Sexy Mustache: Post a photo!

I’m the Impostor: Post a photo!

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: “You’re making this difficult for me, Fat Tiger.jpg”

Gao Sijin frowned. In his experience, a girl shouldn’t be using memes related to Fat Tiger.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée seemed like a real chatterbox. It didn’t take her long to get friendly with the group’s regulars.

Gao Sijin, who had social anxiety, was utterly dumbfounded. He could only marvel at her.

Then came the long-awaited meme battle. A lot of the pictures were lewd, so it turned out to be another fruitful day.

He wasn’t saving those lewd pictures for anything weird. He was collecting pretty cover art for his future books. So even if people called him a dirty old pervert, Gao Sijin had to admire the long legs in black stockings with a pure heart.

The group chat wound down about twenty minutes later.

Gao Sijin was getting ready to log off, too.

He had a blind date tomorrow, so he needed to get to bed early tonight.

Just as he was about to shut down his computer, the QQ icon in the bottom-right corner started flashing again.

He clicked it open. Xiao Ai’s Fiancée had sent him a private message.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: Hey.

Wow. Right out of the gate with the classic anime-fan greeting.

Ai: Hello.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: Why’s my Xiao Ai so shy? You barely said anything in the group chat.

It wasn’t that Gao Sijin was shy. He was only good at chatting with people he knew. From Schopenhauer’s philosophy to Miss Jia Ran’s livestreams, he could always find something to talk about.

But the moment he met a stranger, Gao Sijin’s social skills dropped to zero.

Ai: I’m not shy. I’m just trying to figure out how to roast your username.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: What’s there to roast? I’m your fiancée! Ever since I saw your work, I’ve had just one wish: to become your lover.

Ai: I can hardly believe my book has a female fan.

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: You should have more confidence! I even went out of my way to learn a lot of Chinese so I could read your book. You must be an amazing person.

Ai: This feels like a dream. Are you really a girl?

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: Want me to send you a photo?

Ai: Weren’t you refusing to post one in the group chat?

Xiao Ai’s Fiancée: I just didn’t want strangers to see what I look like. But you’re the exception, because you’re my future husband.

Then she sent him a photo.

The photo was so beautiful it barely seemed real.

Her dark hair was trimmed into a neat hime cut. Her gorgeous eyes, tinged with deep red, were utterly captivating—and set in that delicate, flawless face, they were the finishing touch.

Best of all, unlike modern girls, she had none of that restless, flashy air about her. She looked elegant and serene, a beautiful girl straight out of the Yamato Nadeshiko ideal.

Her kimono revealed just the right amount. Gao Sijin could see the lovely hollow above her collarbones clearly in the photo.

His first impression was that she was a refined young lady who lived tucked away in a sheltered home. If she cosplayed Lianhua, she could pass for the real thing.

Gao Sijin, who called himself a papersexual, had finally fallen for someone in the real world.

He took a deep breath, but suddenly, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

She was just too perfect. So perfect it was frightening.