“Pfft... Hahahahaha! What did you just say? How’d you die?! You were chasing a girl, trying to impress her by buying her milk tea, and before you could even deliver it, a truck ran you flat?!”

“You don’t know jack...! Aaargh! You’re so annoying! You’ve repeated that eight times already! Are you really a god who guides lost souls?!”

Ye Zhibai pointed at the mass of light across from him, the one letting out shrill laughter, and shouted his accusations.

The ball of light was blurry, and so dazzling it was practically light pollution. Actually, Ye Zhibai’s entire surroundings were bizarre and surreal.

He’d just tried to chase down that super-annoying ball of light claiming to be a god so he could punch it!

But it was completely pointless.

In this space beyond death... distance simply didn’t exist. If you couldn’t reach a god with your fist while you were alive, you certainly couldn’t do it after death~

The ball of light kept changing shape as it let out its shrill, echoing laughter. If it were a person, they’d be doubled over, laughing so hard they could barely stand.

Its voice gave no clue as to its gender. It sounded more like several voices blending together, coming from every direction at once.

“Hahaha...! Whew... Sorry, sorry. Let me get myself together. We gods have standards to uphold. We absolutely never laugh under normal circumstances, absolutely n— Pfft, unless we can’t help it~”

Infuriating!

The ball of light paused, then suddenly rose, as if it had picked something up.

It was just like it was reading from something.

“Let’s see here... Your name’s Ye Zhibai. You were an orphan from the time you were little. Your grades were average, your social skills were average, your looks were average, and you barely had any friends. Your luck was terrible. You rented a little place of your own, and it caught fire. As for money... you’re a walking bad-luck charm. You spent your first paycheck on medical bills because an iron basin fell from above and hit you on your way home from work. Holy crap, you had it that bad? I almost feel sorry for you. And then... no romantic experience. Still a virgin when you died. Pfft...!”

“Hey!!!”

“Oh, sorry, sorry~ Laughing is only natural for a god, you know. Anyway~ that girl you were going to deliver milk tea to before you died—did she ever say she wanted to go out with you?”

“N-no... Not yet! But I think it’ll happen soon...”

“Pfft, hahaha! Keep dreaming! Wake up already~ You got run over by a truck, remember? That’s why I say simps never die peacefully!! What, are you trying to laugh me to death so you can inherit my godhood?!”

“I don’t want your godhood. Can you hurry up and laugh yourself to death already?!”

And another thing! What do you mean, simp?! Ye Zhibai knew he and that girl had a tangled, hard-to-break connection... It wasn’t like he actually wanted to chase after her.

And he got run over even though he wasn’t seriously trying to pursue her. What a total loss!

Sigh... None of that mattered anymore.

If Ye Zhibai’s body weren’t getting harder and harder to control, he’d jump right out of this accursed place and kill himself a second time!

I may have had a miserable life, but I did try to struggle and fight back, okay?

When I needed money, I got a job and worked hard. Who knew the store would go under just a few days after I started?

I grew up without parents. After paying tuition, I barely had enough left to rent a place. That apartment leaked in summer and let the wind in during winter... I had to think twice before I could even afford a meal!

I’d had my fill of swallowing one frustration after another while I was alive, and now I was dead, this so-called god was still mocking me like crazy. Who could put up with that?!

A person can be killed, but not humiliated!

Sorry, but can I skip reincarnation? If I get a choice, I want to take you down with me, you jerk!

But Ye Zhibai was just a dead man. He didn’t have what it took to mouth off to a god like that.

The ball of light didn’t seem bothered by Ye Zhibai’s rude remarks. It was simply following the rules and doing its job~

“All right, Ye Zhibai. You’ve made me laugh so hard. I haven’t had a laugh like that in centuries~ According to the rules, I should erase all your memories and send you back to reincarnate on this planet as an embryo. But... it looks like there’s been a little snag.”

A little snag?!

At those words, Ye Zhibai immediately broke out in a cold sweat.

His painfully ordinary cheeks were hidden behind the light, and he couldn’t actually sweat anymore.

But he had a terrible feeling about this!

You lousy ball of light...! You’re not going to abuse your power and hold a grudge over what I said, then quietly stop me from reincarnating, are you?!

Or something even worse...?

“What are you standing there imagining? Honestly, people these days... You’ve all got persecution complexes, huh? Don’t forget, even gods have people watching over them. Besides, I can’t be bothered to hold your ignorant words against you. What an idiot.”

You’re the idiot!

Wait, no...! You can hear my thoughts?

Whew... Anyway, as long as you’re not going to vaporize me on the spot.

The ball of light fell silent again. When it spoke this time, its exact tone was still impossible to make out, but there was something in its voice...

It suddenly sounded like it wanted to “discuss something.”

“Well... Ye Zhibai, mortal, you’re in luck. I’m in a good mood today, so you’ve hit the jackpot. You don’t have to lose your memories. I can give you a fresh start right away~”

“What... do you mean...? Are you going to bring me back to life?”

The word “resurrection” came to mind, but Ye Zhibai didn’t feel all that happy.

His life up to that point had undoubtedly been a failure... Even by the time he reached college, he’d never felt the beauty of the world. All he’d known was pain and struggle, misfortune and poverty.

Even if he came back to life right where he’d died... he’d just waste another few decades before coming back to see this lousy ball of light again.

But...

“You’ve got some imagination! Bring you back to life?! If I resurrected you, I’d have to quit being a god, okay? That’s never been allowed since the beginning of creation! Idiot!”

Tch... That bastard ball of light got another jab in!

After delivering that quick retort, the ball of light’s tone turned “gentle” again.

“What I’m saying is, you can keep your memories, and you don’t have to start over as an embryo.”

After a pause, the ball of light continued, “In the mortal world, there’s a perfect body created by the supreme Mother Goddess. It has no thoughts of its own. Ever since it was sent down to the Human Realm, it’s been imitating the life of an ordinary human in the clumsiest way possible, doing only the bare minimum. It can take care of itself remarkably well, but beyond that... the body has no feelings or thoughts of its own.”

“Uh, so to everyone else, it’s basically a self-sufficient idiot...” Ye Zhibai nailed the obvious retort.

“Tsk.”

“Did you just click your tongue?!”

“No.” The ball of light ignored Ye Zhibai’s retort and continued. “With the gods guiding it, that soulless body has been well protected and placed with what you people in the Human Realm call a wealthy family. Sure, you were taken in, but you’re absolutely the apple of the whole family’s eye~ So, Ye Zhibai, I’m going to make you the soul of that body right now! I’ll bring that body to life for real!”

“Hey... Setting everything else aside, why didn’t you gods put a soul in that body when you created it? Isn’t that kind of stran—”

“That’s why I said you hit the jackpot, right?!”

“......”

His question had just been completely ignored—or deliberately brushed aside.

Before Ye Zhibai could ask anything else, the ball of light carried on with its explanation like a door-to-door salesperson.

“Your soul gets to enter that perfect, soulless body~ Not only will you be exceptionally good-looking, you’ll have more money than you could ever spend. And women? They’ll come as easy as breathing. You can have as many as you want. Plus, you definitely won’t get run over by a truck or anything. So, what do you think? Tempted?! If you are, act now! All you have to do is say yes, and I’ll make your soul fit that body so you can be reborn!”

“And... what happens if I say no?”

“Th-then you keep waiting in line! We’ll reincarnate you normally whenever we get around to you!”

“......”

You’re really going to pull that on me?!

Ye Zhibai had a feeling that if he refused, this shameless ball of light might leave him in the queue forever!

As for the ball of light’s offer...

Was he hesitating?

Honestly, a little.

After all, this ball of light sounded like a phone scammer. Anyone would have their doubts.

But as far as Ye Zhibai was concerned...

Those doubts seemed pointless.

Even if something went wrong, could it really be worse than the life I just had?!

That was impossible... Ye Zhibai’s life had been so miserable, he felt like crying on his own behalf.

Besides, the ball of light had just said...

This time... there wouldn’t be so much misfortune. He’d meet the right girl and have a... sweet romance.

If he could have all that, what did a little unknown risk matter?

Pfft... Come to think of it, that god was pretty considerate. At least it was letting me make my own choice.

Throughout his life, right up through college, Ye Zhibai had never had the courage or confidence to make a big decision quickly and decisively.

I didn’t have the courage while I was alive... At least let me go all out once I’m dead.

Ye Zhibai looked straight up at the ring of light, smiled, and clenched his fist without thinking.

Then he stretched his arm toward it.

“All right, I— I mean, esteemed god, I accept your offer. I...”

“Great! Deal!!”

“?!”

I wasn’t finished!

At least let me finish making the one bold decision of my life in style!

The instant Ye Zhibai said “I accept,” the ball of light burst into beams of every color. They swirled around him and slowly lifted his body into the air.

Ye Zhibai could feel his body growing lighter and lighter. The beams of light shining from him grew stronger, and his still somewhat solid body began to dissolve into tiny points of light, scattering and gathering again.

Ha... Getting ready for my second life?

This life... hadn’t had many ups and downs, and there wasn’t much to miss.

Was there really... nothing to miss?

A figure with long, flowing hair suddenly flashed through Ye Zhibai’s mind, then scattered along with the points of light, dissolving into tiny sparks.

Let it go... Let the past stay in the past.

This time, I’m not asking to be rich or powerful.

I just want to be happy and have a life full of color.

Heh heh... Of course, if I get a handsome face and a good life this time, I’m definitely going to find a girl who understands me.

Ye Zhibai closed his eyes with a relieved smile. As he felt his soul’s beam of light slowly descend, he heard that ball of light’s smug voice once again.

“Oh, right! I forgot to mention one thing! Your new body is a girl’s body! The super pretty, super cute kind! You’re going to love it!”

“?!”

Ye Zhibai, who’d just closed his eyes in relief, suddenly snapped them open.

No... He didn’t have eyes anymore, not as a soul. But he still had to scream this from the bottom of his heart!!

“A girl?! Why the hell didn’t you say so earlier?!!!”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t agree if I told you earlier. What’s it to you~ Anyway, you’ve already said yes. There’s no taking it back. Oh, and it’ll take a little time for your soul and body to adjust to each other. You might have some trouble making expressions or talking at first~ But do your best! I’m sure you’ll have a great second life as a girl! Ehehe!”

“Ehehe,” my ass! What the hell are you giggling for?!

This time, Ye Zhibai wasn’t given another chance to curse out the god.

His soul was already shooting down toward the world below~

You lousy ball of light!

Don’t ever let me see you again!! Ever!!!