For some reason, the three of them ended up moving into my place.

Good thing my apartment had three bedrooms, one living room, and a small study. It was just enough space.

Long-ge took over my old room. Old Han stayed in the room next door. Then there was Old Chu, who took the innermost study for herself.

Though calling it a study was a stretch. It just had a few bookshelves and a bed. It was basically a normal bedroom. Her room didn't get much light. Last time I went in to help clean up, the curtains were still drawn. The whole place was pitch-black.

Ever since Long-ge fought off that whole gang of toads outside the internet café a few days ago, she hadn't liked going out much anymore. I went by that café myself a few days back. There were always a few familiar faces peeking around, and groups of brightly dyed heads kept pouring out together. Every time anyone passed by, they'd all glance over as one.

Last time, a girl with bleached gray hair showed up. The poor thing got cornered in an alley and scared into tears. One brightly colored head after another went into the alley, came back out shaking their heads and saying it wasn't her, and only then did they let the girl go.

I carried my plastic bag and sighed to myself. I passed by from a distance, keeping my face hidden under my cap.

I'd thought that once Long-ge turned into a woman, she could start a new life.

But it looked like nothing had changed.

Everything had been fine, and she just had to go pick a fight with the toads for no reason. Now people were still looking to mess with her every day. I couldn't even be bothered to ask why she fought them. Probably because she didn't like the look of someone again.

Now she stayed home every day grinding Dungeon Fighter, slamming my desk and randomly yelling, "Drop! Drop! Damn it!!" Then she'd collapse into the chair and go silent. Sometimes she'd order me to buy cigarettes and snacks, then go right back to playing her Dungeon Fighter.

When I got bored, I watched how she played for a bit. Once she ran out of fatigue, she'd start messing with potions. Then she'd keep messing with them all day. One alchemist, one enchanter, switching back and forth between two accounts over and over. Just watching made me tired.

After noon, Old Han came over carrying a bunch of bags. The moment she walked in, she flopped onto the sofa like she was paralyzed.

Old Chu hadn't left yesterday either. She had low blood sugar, and she'd only just gotten up. She sat on the sofa with a gloomy face.

Old Chu's old dorm situation was even worse. After changing sex, how was a delicate little beauty supposed to go into the men's dorm? She couldn't even retrieve the luggage she'd left there.

As for where she'd live, forget it.

Was she supposed to go back to the men's dorm and put her doujin combat training into practice?

...Huh. Old Chu's doujins. Kind of wanted to see them.

With so many people suddenly living in my house, I was actually fine with it. I wasn't too worried. My parents worked overseas year-round. They only came back to China once every two or three years for New Year, so I didn't need to worry about explaining anything at home.

As for money, my parents each sent me over two thousand yuan a month for living expenses, one after the other. Life was pretty comfortable. Not rich enough to buy two packs of cigarettes, smoke one, and throw one away—

Throw one away after buying one? That wasn't being rich. That was having your brain short-circuit.

Old Han sprawled on the sofa for a while, then her stomach started growling. She wailed like the world was ending and told me to get her something to eat.

I couldn't be bothered to cook. If I could avoid it, I would. So I asked the others first. If nobody else was hungry, then maybe I could skip it.

I asked Old Chu too, who was practically radiating black mist from the sofa, whether she was hungry. She said yes with that same gloomy face.

Then I went into the room and asked Long-ge if she was hungry. She was cursing while grinding the Abyss and said yes too. Every one of these freeloaders acted like royalty. Fine then, you can all just starve to death.

Of course that wasn't an option. Whether it was Long-ge or Old Chu, I was just an ordinary law-abiding citizen. I couldn't afford to piss off big shots like them.

So I reluctantly put on some clothes and obediently went downstairs to buy malatang from Xiao Xiu.

The malatang shop was still pretty empty. When she saw me come in, she came out of the kitchen with a smile.

I walked straight to the ingredient baskets and started picking things.

She came out of the kitchen and was just about to greet me, but when she saw my face, her expression suddenly turned serious.

"How'd you hurt your head?"

I touched the bandage on my head and shook my head. "A toad licked me."

Xiao Xiu froze. "You got into a fight?"

"It's nothing. Just a little scuffle." I sighed. Yesterday had already worn me out, and today I still had to run errands for people.

I set the baskets on the counter and found a random table to sit down at.

Xiao Xiu ignored my four baskets and looked at me seriously instead. That expression was new. She was always smiling before. Forget serious—I barely ever saw her not smiling. Usually she was like a gentle, warm girl-next-door big sister.

I was wondering what was going on when she stared at me for a long while, held it in forever, then finally said, "How could you get into a fight? You can't fight anymore, okay?"

I nodded and pointed at the four baskets on the counter. "We'll see. Four bowls of malatang."

"No fighting!"

"Big sis, four bowls of malatang... A man like me getting beaten up on the street is unavoidable. They're always jealous of my beauty. I get it. I'm used to it."

"Did the toad lick your brain too? Tell me you'll never fight again."

"What if I don't?"

"Then I won't make your malatang."

"Then I won't eat here."

"Oh!"

The two of us gazed deeply at each other across the table. That look held a thousand unspoken words. It almost felt eternal.

I said, "If I'm not eating here, refund me."

She said, "If you won't say you won't fight again, then I won't make your malatang, and I won't refund you either."

"You're running a scam shop?"

"No. I'm just unreasonable."

At that moment, I was a complete mess. Could someone really say "I'm unreasonable" with that much righteous confidence?

But I still had three big shots at home waiting to be fed, so I could only swallow my pride.

"Big sis, I'm sorry! I want malatang! Four bowls of malatang! If I ever get into another fight, I'll bark like a dog for you!"

Sister Xiao Xiu stared hard at my forehead, trying her best not to look at my pitiful face. After a while, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She laughed, flicked my forehead, and said, "Smart mouth."

I carried four plastic bags in the dead of winter. I was wearing a pair of oversized athletic shorts Long-ge had worn before, a white tank top underneath, and an unzipped down jacket outside. I was damn near freezing into an idiot.

My pace quickened on the way home. As I turned a corner, someone who looked like a high schooler came straight toward me. I hurried to dodge to the side, afraid the malatang would spill. Last time it all spilled and wasted thirty yuan. If it happened again, I'd lose my mind on the spot.

But this cute little guy must've had his eyes growing out of his ass crack, because he slammed right into my shoulder.

I hurried to keep my balance. The ground was a little slippery. First I performed a bit of street dance, then somehow managed to steady myself in the end.

The malatang didn't spill.

The kid stared blankly through my whole sliding dance routine and still seemed unsatisfied. Then he pointed at my nose and started cursing.

"Are you fucking blind when you walk?"

Then came a whole string of filthy insults.

The kid had quite the temper. If he ever got a driver's license, he'd probably be road rage incarnate. I wasn't someone who got angry easily. As for that brick-to-the-skull move, I'd picked that up from hanging around Long-ge too much. It was for survival. Just in case one day I went downstairs with her to buy cigarettes and got stabbed turning a corner.

This high-school-looking brat still wouldn't let it go. I apologized and tried to walk around him, but he stepped right in front of me and blocked my way. He kept cursing with a cold face, finger in my face, getting louder and filthier by the second.

I was just wondering how many meters would be appropriate to kick him when he finally finished his rap-like stream of abuse, took a few hard breaths, and shouted:

"Get him!"

Almost like they'd been waiting for the signal, nearly thirty people burst out from the nearby street corner. Every one of them was around six feet tall, broad-shouldered, thick-built, and holding clubs...

In the cold wind, I stood there carrying four bags of malatang, my brain crashing.

What the hell was this? Where was the law? Where was justice?

You bumped into me by accident, then somehow cursed me out. Fine, whatever. But why'd you call this many people to jump me too?

I looked at the numbers, and every one of them had a big stick. What kind of blood feud was this? Did I shit in your family hotpot or something?

"Enough."

A pretty young boy's voice rang out.

Before I could figure out what was happening, the road-rage brat acted like he'd just been granted amnesty. He hurriedly stepped aside and even gave me a wary look.

I kept feeling like he looked familiar. After thinking for a while, I remembered.

Wasn't this the guy Long-ge punched in the face outside the internet café that day? The one who got knocked down and coughed blood? His teeth were all neat and bright now, white enough to advertise toothpaste. Damn, you got those fixed up real nice. What big hospital did you get them done at?

"Didn't you hear me?"

The young voice sounded cold again.

The group all glanced at me and reluctantly stepped back a little.

Then, from among the burly men, a boy who also looked like a high schooler walked out. He wore a gray sweater under a green velvet coat, had dyed blond hair, leather shoes, and a pretty handsome face. A full set of features, anyway.

Right now, he was staring at me coldly. Everything he wore was designer. Definitely some rich kid.

But I was still confused. I didn't remember offending this guy.

At that moment, Denture Bro retreated behind the group of burly men and pointed at me as he shouted, "Young Master Feng! It's him! He was with a white-haired girl. Last time outside the internet café, they beat a whole bunch of us!"

Okay. Fine. I got it now.

The air froze. Under the gaze of more than thirty men, a killing-cold northern wind blew through.

Long-ge's oversized shorts were really doing their job too. They were insanely breathable. My crotch instantly went cold.

The rich kid nodded to show he understood. Then, face cold, he walked up to me and tried to go nose-to-nose with me.

The problem was, he was a whole head shorter than me, so what should've looked provocative ended up looking like he was trying to kiss me.

That scared me enough that I hurriedly took a step back. The rich kid thought I was scared of him, so he stepped forward too. I stepped back again.

He sneered and looked at me mockingly. "You don't need to be so scared... I heard you're pretty close with Bai Hailong?"

I didn't say anything. I just kept backing up step by step, while this rich kid calmly kept pressing forward.

I was seriously scared now. He looked like he meant business. At this rate, he really was going to fucking kiss me.

Seeing me in oversized shorts, cowardly as an old dog, backing away in a panic, one of them finally couldn't take it anymore. It was Denture Guy—the same one who got hit by Long-ge's face-breaking punch and had to go to a big hospital for fake teeth.

Now he exploded with curses.

"Why the fuck are you crab-stepping around? Did the forceps make you lame when they pulled you out of your mom's cunt? Young Master Feng is talking to you!"

I trembled and asked the rich kid, "Your mom came too?"

The rich kid froze. His expression darkened, and he turned to look at Denture Guy.

Denture Guy froze too. He probably had never seen someone as shamelessly opportunistic as me. Cold sweat instantly covered his face. He lowered his head, then occasionally looked up to glare at me viciously.

The rich kid stopped walking. He also gave up on the whole trying-to-kiss-me pose and said coldly,

"You're interesting... Do you know what happened to the last person who dared joke with me like that?"

I looked at this high-school underworld kid and thought, wow, he really had the air of a private company boss. The way he stood there with his hands behind his back and his feet turned out looked exactly like some leader inspecting the workplace.

So I put on a wary face and asked tentatively, "Started dating you?"

"Fuck!"

The whole group holding clubs froze for a second. Then they all started rolling up sleeves and cursing, like they wanted to tear me apart on the spot.

No, wait, what did I do? What the hell did I say wrong?

The rich kid didn't even turn around. With a dark face, he raised one hand, and everyone behind him instantly stopped moving. They all stared at me coldly, like they were looking at a corpse.

No one spoke now. The air was full of cold.

I was about to cry. These damn shorts really froze your legs.

The rich kid stared at me without a word. I stared back at the group of burly men with tears shimmering in my eyes. I held the four bags of malatang tight, two in each hand, clenched hard in my palms.

Today, I was done for.

And the malatang was done for too.

Please donate my body to the motherland. Donate the malatang to starving African children. My one regret is that I died a virgin. Please take care of my family.

Today was over. Denture Guy had brought the rich kid. The rich kid had brought bodyguards. These bastards had come to settle the score!

Even Long-ge had suffered at their hands before. Me? A beautiful young man with no strength to truss a chicken, facing this many brutal school-outside thugs alone? If it came to blows, I'd probably only manage a couple symbolic turtle punches, then clutch my head, find a corner, and curl up like a turtle in its shell while they beat me.

And while I was at it, I'd pray to heaven that none of these big bros had a knife. Best case, I'd keep half my life. Losing the other half was fine. Maybe they could still save me in the ER.

But that seemed unlikely.

I gritted my teeth. My face turned cold.

And I tightened my grip on the malatang in my hands.

Fine. Then I’d have to use my own hands to tell him—

Even a cornered bastard turtle will bite. Even a bastard turtle has blood in him. Even a bastard turtle has his own damn dignity!!

Right then, in the middle of a bunch of burly men cracking their knuckles, that little bastard stood there cold and still, like everyone in the world owed him money.

If this son of a bitch pulled some movie Gestapo crap, snapped his fingers, and had those guys with clubs rush me, then even if it killed me, I’d dump all four bags of malatang over his head one by one!

And then, the bastard actually raised one hand with icy coolness, striking a pose like he was about to count money!

This little bastard really wanted to throw down? That dog was going too far!

As the burly men behind him lifted all kinds of sticks, I roared too and raised the four bulging bags of malatang high over my head. “Fuck your mother, try it! You want beef tendon noodles or yellow noodles?!”

The two sides were at a standoff.

Just then, someone walked into the alley from outside.

It was a white-haired girl. She looked impatient. A vicious scar cut across her face, and a familiar Red Golden Dragon cigarette hung from her lips!

The girl had clearly come in a hurry. But the moment she saw a whole crowd in the alley carrying blades, clubs, and rods, she froze on the spot.

The second I saw her face clearly, cold sweat poured down my back.

Brother Long! Brother Long, you still dared to come out?! These guys with clubs are all here for you!

Brother Long had probably noticed I hadn’t gone home for ages. She was starving, so she’d just thrown on whatever and come looking for me. Right now, she was glancing around through the crowd.

The burly men all stared toward the alley entrance. A delinquent-looking girl was scanning the place. They looked at each other in confusion.

And I looked at Brother Long.

No mistake. That was definitely Brother Long. Nobody else could pull off that mixed-up style even if they tried. A green puffer jacket over a white floral T-shirt.

And those blue track pants—who knew what street stall they came from. The logo was a Rascal Rabbit knockoff.

Still, it was fine. Better than my big shorts...

By now, I’d already given up on settling this peacefully. I was quietly planning how to break out while using the corner of my eye to search the ground for a brick.

As for Brother Long...

Honestly, after turning into a woman, I really didn’t know whether her fighting power had dropped or not...

That thing outside the internet café last time—I’d been standing there the whole time with a brick, waiting for that pimple-faced bastard. I never got a clear look at how exactly Brother Long fought.

But there were just too many people here.

More than thirty burly men. Even if Brother Long were Zhang Sanfeng reincarnated, she still couldn’t beat that.

I was still fucking calculating all this when I realized the crowd was blocking me. She apparently hadn’t seen me. At the alley entrance, she cupped her hands together and blew warm air into them, then turned to leave!

The whole group turned their heads in unison and watched for a while. Once they saw it was just some girl peeking into the alley, they didn’t think much of it and turned back to keep staring at me.

Seeing that they didn’t react much to Brother Long showing up, I suddenly remembered she was in a girl’s body now. There was no way they could recognize her. I quietly let out a breath of relief—

Then I turned and looked at them again, and relief my ass.

A chill ran through me. Out of this whole group ignoring Brother Long, that rich second-gen was not one of them!

The moment he saw Brother Long’s face, he froze, then kept staring at her!

I remembered those guys with the pimple-faced punk mentioning before that they worked for some Young Master Feng. And that fake-teeth guy seemed to be one of them too...

The thought made my heart tighten at once.

Shit!

Sure enough, the fake-teeth guy hiding behind the burly men froze too. He pointed at Brother Long’s back and cried out, “It’s her!! Last time outside the internet café, she and this kid beat Liu Heng and the others so badly they ended up in the hospital—”

“AHHH!!”

I roared.

If I was gonna die, then so be it! Today, this little life of mine would depend on whether Brother Long could call the cops fast enough!!

I hoisted the four bags of malatang high and charged straight at Blondie!

The moment they saw me suddenly make a move, the whole group—including the blond rich kid—went dumb!

Blondie had just heard fake-teeth finish talking and was still stunned. He was about to turn and look at Brother Long when he suddenly heard my roar and saw me charging at him with four bags of malatang in hand—

I figured nobody had ever seen someone run at them with malatang like this before. The rich kid froze on the spot!

I bellowed, “Sister Long, run! Hurry and call the cops!! Those guys from the internet café came with clubs!!”

Brother Long, who had already walked out of the alley, turned her head in confusion. She saw me charging at Blondie with the malatang raised high and froze for a second, then snapped, “Why are you here? I thought you were learning how to make malatang from that girl! Hey! You motherf—”

Brother Long watched helplessly as I charged at the rich kid with the malatang. No matter how slow the rich kid was, he finally realized I wasn’t trying to treat him to malatang. He immediately roared, “Stop him!”

The whole group panicked too. A bunch of burly men dumbly lifted their hands, but somehow none of them actually dared to stop me!

They say the human brain crashes easily when something happens that’s too unexpected.

I mean, who the hell has ever seen someone sprint at them like this carrying malatang? If it were me, I’d be stunned too!

The rich kid panicked and took two steps back. But there was a little stone under his foot. It tripped him, and his whole body tipped backward!

Joy surged in my chest. Today, you’re definitely eating this extra-spicy, extra-numbing and clear broth combo. Go die, you bastard!

“Come on!!”

The faster I ran, the more tragic my roar became!

I finally rushed right in front of the rich kid! The guy was still staring at me in a daze!

And just as I swung my arm all the way back, a fierce force suddenly kicked me hard from behind. The malatang in my hand seemed to get snatched away by a cool little hand. I staggered forward ten-something steps, then slammed headfirst into the wall!

It hurt so bad I nearly started barking like a dog!

While clutching my head and wailing against the wall, I let out a mournful sigh inside too. Looks like I was really done for today. I could only pray heaven would leave me half a life...

No, my life’s tough. A quarter would do...

But after howling for ages, nobody hit me.

I looked up, and my mouth slowly fell open.

Brother Long was holding four portions of malatang in one hand.

And the rich kid was in Brother Long’s one-armed embrace, barely kept from falling to the ground!

The two of them were gazing into each other’s eyes.

Brother Long still had that eternal Red Golden Dragon hanging from her lips.

The lackeys around them were all dumbstruck.

I was dumbstruck too. Inside, I was screaming, I’m about to die here and you’re over there doing a damn tango with him?!

Now that my weapon had been taken, and seeing the rich kid in Brother Long’s arms, totally defenseless, I hurried to my feet and secretly started looking around for a brick again.

The rich kid stood there in total shock, still held in Brother Long’s arms. Brother Long steadied him with one hand, glanced at him, and said softly, “Watch where you’re going. Don’t fall. Clothes that expensive? What if they get dirty?”

The rich kid stood there like a statue of shock. Only his eyeballs moved, following Brother Long as she turned away.

Brother Long walked straight past him, grabbed me while I was still searching the ground for a brick, and cursed under her breath, “What were you doing just now? Trying to spill the malatang?”

That pissed me off. I said, “I bought it with my money anyway. So what if I spilled it?”

Brother Long looked helpless. She leaned close to my ear and said in a low, urgent voice, “Old Lu, listen... listen to your sis for once. Next time, if you want me to go downstairs and buy something...! You didn’t see it. What Minghai did on the sofa was scary as hell...”

“The three of us were waiting on the sofa... then after a long while, Minghai suddenly started cold-smiling. It freaked me out. Old Han went out to look for you right away. After a bit, I couldn’t take it either, so I came out too...”

I froze. Then I pictured that scene and shivered for no reason at all—

If I’d really thrown that malatang just now, then even if this bunch didn’t beat me to death today, I’d still be basically dead once I got home.

And I probably wouldn’t even know how I died.

The burly men were still petrified. Brother Long and I started walking out of the alley. As we passed the rich kid statue, he held it in for a moment, then asked in a trembling voice, “May I be so bold as to ask... do you have WeChat?”

I froze. That was way too bold!

Brother Long had one hand in her pocket and the other hooked around me. We probably looked like siblings, an older sister and younger brother.

She turned her head and grinned. “No WeChat! What, you trying to hit on me?”

Young Master Feng stared straight at Brother Long and said seriously, “Just dinner together.”

That fake-teeth guy had been standing there in a daze ever since I charged over with the malatang. At that moment, it finally clicked for him.

He immediately shouted, “Young Master Feng! It was this woman at the internet café yesterday! She’s—”

“Shut up!” Young Master Feng spun around and roared.

As soon as he shouted, nearly ten burly men around him turned too. One of them even lazily tapped his palm with a club. All of them looked at fake-teeth with amused expressions.

Fake-teeth shuddered all over and wilted on the spot.

Brother Long stood to the side. Seeing his reaction, she was probably full of disdain. She let out a scoff and shook her head, then pulled me along to leave—

And the moment she scoffed, I saw fake-teeth’s face turn green.

From behind us, Young Master Feng hurriedly called out, “At-at least can you tell me your name?”

The second I heard that, my scalp prickled again. I quickly turned to look at Brother Long, afraid she’d whirl around in full swagger and say something domineering like, “I am Bai Hailong, the Little White Dragon of the Pearl River!”

But Brother Long didn’t even turn around. She just lifted the four bags of malatang and laughed carelessly. “Eat what dinner? I don’t even know you. Looking at what you’re wearing, I probably can’t afford the stuff you eat anyway. I’d rather go home and eat malatang!”

Brother Long dragged me outside. I let her pull me along, but my nerves were still tight.

The guys acting as bodyguards for this Young Master Feng were all huge and thick-built. They didn’t look like gangsters at all. More like bodyguards he kept around for show...

This rich kid was probably some precious young master too. His bodyguards might even be carrying stun batons and knives...

After we got out of the alley, I was still scared that little bastard would suddenly come to his senses, talk it over, decide this couldn’t stand, say something like brothers can’t let this slide, then send all thirty-something men charging after us with clubs again...

Luckily, the alley behind us stayed completely silent.

Once we were out, I instinctively turned my head.

Among the whole group, that rich kid was still staring at Brother Long’s back.