30. I Am Not Him, Nor Will I Ever Love Y
update icon Updated at 2026/5/18 9:30:02

"Are you okay?"

"Don’t ignore my messages!"

"I’ve called you for three straight days—can’t you answer just one?"

"Wait… you’re not actually dead, are you?"

"You pervert! Sadistic teacher! Chen Yaoyi!"

Scrolling further down the screen, every message was from May, with a few from Yaya mixed in.

Yaya probably wasn’t worried—just sending work-related check-ins.

After clearing all the red notification dots, Chen Yaoyi set his phone down and gazed out the window at the sinking sunset.

At this hour, Su Ziqing would usually bring dinner.

According to Su Ziqing, that "country girl" could be quite pretty with a little styling—just painfully shy and insecure. *What kind of bullshit rule is that?*

Zhao Xiaoluo claimed he’d cut ties with Su Ziqing, yet they kept appearing together, physical contact only increasing.

And that same "country girl" often comforted Zhao Xiaoluo when they were alone. All in all, things were heating up between them.

*Knock, knock, knock—*

"Come in."

At the familiar sound, Chen Yaoyi turned toward the door. Flaxen hair came into view first—May’s expression was slightly awkward, but her eyes looked clearer.

"G-good afternoon…"

Seeing Chen Yaoyi frozen a moment, May spoke first, then glanced back at Su Ziqing, who gave a small nod and left.

"Phew…"

May still stood by the door.

After yesterday afternoon, she’d pestered Su Ziqing relentlessly until he finally brought her here.

Chen Yaoyi stayed silent. May stayed still. Until she slowly lifted her head and fixed her gaze on his face.

"So… coming here means you’ve given up on your date with Zhao Xiaoluo?"

Per Yaya’s intel, the persistent Zhao Xiaoluo had asked May out again today. Not a bad sign for a male lead chasing his love interest.

"Um… I haven’t figured it out yet."

"So you don’t like him anymore?"

"Uh… I don’t know. Before, he was all I saw. Seeing him made me happy. Not anymore… I can’t explain it."

May remained by the door—not because of his near-reproachful tone, but because she feared she’d lose control.

"Come here," Chen Yaoyi gently patted the empty space beside his hospital bed. "Tell me what happened."

The girl flushed, took tiny steps forward, but chose the black folding chair a short distance away—the one Su Ziqing always used.

*Why so distant?* Chen Yaoyi narrowed his eyes. *Just as I thought.*

"This afternoon, I told Xiaoluo to give me time… then went to find Su Ziqing…"

"And then?"

"Uh… when I got back to class, I—I—I saw Xiaoluo and Chu Chu hugging! Yes, hugging! Chu Chu was probably comforting him… since I avoided answering."

Her eyes darted to the upper right. Fingers gripped the folds of her uniform pants. Body curled tight.

*Oh right—she’s stopped wearing short skirts.*

*She’s lying.*

Chen Yaoyi hadn’t checked with Yaya yet. But May’s flushed face and stammering? Clearly an excuse.

She was already hunting for Zhao Xiaoluo’s flaws—though *he* was at fault, claiming to like May while staying tangled with Su Ziqing and that "country girl" Chu Chu.

But "hugging"? Pure fabrication.

She needed a reason to stand before Chen Yaoyi.

If things had gone smoothly with Zhao Xiaoluo… Chen Yaoyi wouldn’t be needed anymore. Wouldn’t appear again.

"How do you want me to help?"

Chen Yaoyi closed his eyes briefly, then played the helper May wanted.

"Uh… uh… keep giving me advice?"

Hearing it, her face lit up—but she kept a hint of reserve.

"I have nothing left to teach you."

"Then! Then! Be my test subject!"

"Hm?"

"Yes! Pretend to be Xiaoluo! I’ll confess to you! I’ll like you!"

May shifted slightly off the chair, dragged it closer to the bed, leaned forward. Her white shirt strained against her swaying chest; the open collar revealed a tantalizing glimpse.

A calculated move—but part of Chen Yaoyi’s own lesson: *Subtly reward the one you like to keep their eyes on you.*

Too childish for him. Just right for Zhao Xiaoluo.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course! If I can practice with someone before the real confession… maybe I’ll understand my own feelings!"

*Self-deception.*

"I have no other guy friends… so, you pervert—will you be my test subject?"

*The mask finally fell.*

"If I practice enough, then test Xiaoluo’s feelings… I’m sure I can win him over!"

"But I’m not Zhao Xiaoluo. I won’t like you."