That was… a long, long time ago…

"Lin Lin! What do you want to be when you grow up?"

The sun dipped low, autumn breeze brushing gently past. It was the very first day of first grade.

The boy swung high on the swing—so high it made the nearby security guards visibly nervous.

Beside him, a little girl clutched a lollipop, gazing up at him with starry-eyed admiration.

Of course she admired him—the candy in her hand had been bought with a casual wave of his tiny hand.

Her smile was sweet, chubby cheeks dimpling. She wore a pink coat and spotless white knee-high socks.

Lin Lin barely noticed any of it. Heart fluttering with childish sincerity, he answered her question.

"Me? When I grow up… I wanna be Spider-Man!"

He tilted his chin up proudly, chest puffed out. "Yeah! Spider-Man!"

"Eh? Spider-Man…?" She licked her lollipop again, blinking in innocent confusion. "Why?"

She barely knew who Spider-Man was—just a name she’d heard. Truth was, interests had already split: girls loved Barbies; boys dreamed of Ultraman, Superman, Spider-Man.

But Lin Lin launched into an eager explanation:

"’Cause he’s a superhero! The city’s hero! Everyone looks up to heroes!"

"Oh… I see." She nodded slowly, half-understanding.

Maybe she didn’t get boys’ lifelong chuunibyou dreams… but…

Didn’t everyone want to be liked?

Lin Lin wasn’t popular in class. Skinny among bigger boys, he sometimes looked so wronged he seemed like a timid little wife.

That’s why she noticed him. They became desk mates. He’d save his tiny allowance to buy her snacks—a clumsy, earnest gesture of budding affection.

And she? She’d linger after school just to share two extra words with him.

Maybe walking home later felt riskier…

But with Lin Lin beside her, she wasn’t afraid.

A faint smile touched her lips, dimples blooming.

The boy froze. After a long pause, he tugged her sleeve softly.

"And you, Xiao Ling… what do *you* want to be?"

"I… me?" A blush crept up her cheeks. She looked down, voice dropping to a whisper: "I’ll… be the hero’s wife."

"Eh?!" His face lit with delighted surprise. "R-really?!"

"Pfft~ I said *the hero’s* wife. Why’re *you* so excited, Xiao Lin? You’re not a hero yet~"

"I-I will be! Definitely!" Lin Lin insisted, flustered.

She giggled softly. "Really? But… Xiao Lin, you’re not even as tall as me."

"Mmph!" He puffed his cheeks. "G-girls develop two years earlier! Teacher said so!"

(Truthfully… she was already petite among girls. But so what?)

Back then, hearts were pure. Lin Lin only needed to puff his chest and declare:

"I’ll become the most popular hero ever!"

—to make little Xiao Ling giggle. Then, sweetly:

"I’ll wait for you!"

The evening breeze carried their silhouettes home. Under the setting sun, they looked like two lonely, enviable birds flying back to the nest.

Maybe this was the most beautiful moment of Lin Lin’s life?

But…

Peaks are often followed by valleys.

And his peak—just holding Xiao Ling’s tiny hand—wasn’t even as high as the hill outside the school gate.

The valley that came next…

Plummeted toward the Mariana Trench.

Ahem…

Or the East African Rift!

Anyway…

One chapter tinged with betrayal. Another with withering heartache…

…

Third grade, second semester. After final exams, on the walk home.

A furious boy stepped in front of the older Xiao Ling, voice trembling with hurt:

"Xiao Ling! Why… why are you playing with *him*?!"

"Mm…" She looked down, shame coloring her face. "S-sorry, Xiao Lin… he’s… just… really handsome…"

"Huh?"

That single syllable held despair, helplessness, bitter irony. Even failing his exam over her felt laughably small now.

*What?*

*Just… like that?*

Were all those moments… just kids’ games?

She didn’t explain further. Maybe words were useless.

She covered her face and ran. Far off, Lin Lin glimpsed *him*.

The boy Xiao Ling—and so many girls—admired.

Crew cuts surrounded him, but his hairstyle was effortlessly cool. Deep eyes, sharp features, straight posture, hands tucked in his pockets.

He… really *was* handsome.

Just standing there, his face alone drew crowds.

Good grades? Perfect scholar. Bad grades? Cool school tyrant.

Everything was a bonus.

Lin Lin stood frozen, taking in his expensive clothes, his melancholic prince aura.

Silence.

Then he bent, grabbed his bag, and walked away—shoulders slumped, heart hollow.

That was his lost youth.

…

Ahem.

Back to the present. Lin Lin lifted her face, dazed.

Ugh… this trash world.

She hadn’t thought of it in years… yet the ache remained.

Later, Xiao Ling moved away during middle school entrance. Lin Lin never saw her again—though she sometimes spotted *that guy*. Still popular.

Lin Lin saw him as a sworn rival.

He probably never knew her name.

*Oops.* She’d rambled again.

(Of course, she’d told the story using "the boy" and "the girl"—never revealing herself.)

Now, live comments flooded the screen:

[Streamer’s totally the girl! What a jerk!]

[I can tell at a glance—pure cringe!]

[LOL "he was really that handsome"? Pffft…]

[Good thing she didn’t become Spider-Man’s GF… she’d be sacrificing herself daily!]

Hmm? Wait…

Everyone thought *she* was Xiao Ling?!

Lin Lin wanted to cry.

Darn it…

*I’m the boy!*

*I’m the boy!*