On the computer screen, Lin An pulled off a rare high-risk play. Lee Sin went in with a Q-W-ward-hop kick and sent four people flying. Xiao Chacha, on Riven, followed right into the teamfight with Q-E-R-third Q-A-Q-W-A-Q-R and picked up a triple kill.

Lin An let out a long breath. It was over.

Xiao Chacha was still shouting loudly, probably something like, “Wuhu! We’re taking off! End it in one wave! My Riven! My Riven!”

Probably more weird stuff like that.

She looked pretty quiet in real life, but the moment she played games, she got noisy like an excited little puppy. Lin An thought that as they pushed down the enemy base. Only then did Xiao Chacha calm down a little.

“Lin An, so you can make flashy plays too. You always played so safe before. That kick just now was seriously cool.”

“Because the risk was too high. If I messed up even a little, or if they reacted a bit faster, the game was over. If something can be handled steadily, there’s no need to chase excitement.”

“You don’t like excitement, Lin An?”

“Not really like it, not really hate it. My life just kind of goes with the flow anyway. Let things happen naturally. Exciting or plain, as long as I get by, it’s fine.”

“You should expect more from life. If you expect more, life gets more interesting.” Chacha’s voice was sweet and soft.

“Is your life interesting, then? Chacha, what kind of life do you live?”

“I study every day, go shopping, drink milk tea, dance a little, and sometimes go on dates with pretty girls. Isn’t that great?”

“That does sound pretty great.” Lin An agreed. To keep her playing another match with him, he picked up the thread of the conversation. “So you only like girls?”

“Bisexual.”

“That’s nice.”

“What, you don’t have some ideas about me, do you, Lin An? So scary.”

“Not that far.”

“So what, you mean I have zero charm and I’m not your type at all?!” Chacha’s tone puffed up again, like an angry little cat.

Lin An felt a bit helpless. “Of course not. People should at least know themselves.”

“Then aren’t you all lovey-dovey with Su Yuejin?”

“I’m keeping her company while she plays this flirting game. She needs it, but I don’t. I can walk away anytime. I hope she can too. Slowly is fine. As long as no one gets hurt in the end.”

“But if one person has to get hurt, would you choose yourself, or her?”

“Then of course her. I’m a pretty selfish person.” Lin An’s voice was firm and clear.

That made Xiao Chacha freeze for a moment. Then the corner of her lips lifted.

“Then I guess you really are an interesting person, Lin An.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

“This game, I’m playing Fiora!”

“Go ahead. They’ve got Renekton and Elise. I’ll take Nidalee.”

Lin An locked in Nidalee and glanced out the window. The sky was gloomy. No idea if it would rain tomorrow. The curtains were lifted by the wind outside. It wasn’t very cold, just faintly cool.

Tomorrow was Monday.

Lin An had to treasure the time he had gaming with Xiao Chacha. The more matches they played, the better. One game was twenty yuan. Two games meant forty. Forty yuan could do a lot, like buying two jin of pork.

Neither Lin An nor Xu Qinghuan ate much. Half a jin of pork made into a plate of stir-fried shredded pork with green peppers could last them a whole day.

Actually, the siblings weren’t that short on money. They both had their own ways of making it. Neither of them was stupid, and neither was lazy. Really, smart or not didn’t matter that much. As long as you weren’t lazy, life usually wouldn’t turn out too awful.

So Lin An played another match. In a gentle voice, he coaxed Chacha into queueing again. He told her her Fiora had been really good last game and asked if she wanted another while her hands were still hot. She got a little carried away from the praise and completely forgot the fact that she’d been solo-killed twice in lane.

Then Chacha locked in Camille again, and Lin An locked in Renekton. He camped top lane the whole game. The others could kneel and call him dad and it still wouldn’t matter. They weren’t paying him. But the fed top-lane boss he’d raised loved to overextend. If you loved to overextend, you got flamed. Still, getting flamed was fine. Lin An argued with the enemy for Xiao Chacha.

Trash talking in lane was actually pretty interesting. But it was best not to start by cursing people out. The moment you did, you were already beneath them. It looked like your mental had broken first. There was no need to get all passive-aggressive either. That was small-minded too.

The nastiest move, really, was to just say, “It’s only a game. Your manners are awful. Don’t let the game play you. Be civilized.” If you attacked from a position of superiority, the other side had no good comeback. The filthier their mouth got, the more they proved your point. As long as you didn’t get mad, then they were the one raging like an idiot.

All emotions were decided by yourself. As long as you could control your emotions, anyone could live well enough.

So by midnight, Chacha got sleepy. Lin An coaxed her into going to bed, then turned off the computer. He stood by the window and looked at the stars outside. In the city, you couldn’t see many brilliant star-filled skies anymore, but the vast night sky was beautiful too.

…

Lin An still wasn’t asleep. Apparently Xu Qinghuan wasn’t either. He heard movement. She was fiddling with the cocktail tools he’d bought before. When she saw him come out of his room, the girl in a white nightdress looked up.

“What do you want to drink?”

“Gin and tonic.”

So Xu Qinghuan went to get tonic water, lemon, and gin. This cocktail was very simple. Fill a tall glass halfway with ice, pour in tonic until it’s about eighty percent full, then add... however much gin suits your mood. Add a little lemon juice. If you don’t have lemon juice, vitamin C drink works too. Simple and tasty.

Xu Qinghuan sat with him by the balcony. The balcony wasn’t big, but it was enough for two people. Her fair little legs swayed lightly. Her small bare feet lazily curled their toes. The night breeze lifted a few strands of her black hair and brushed them against her pale cheek.

Xu Qinghuan was actually very pretty. A lot of people chased after her. But she never played the social butterfly, never acted like a manipulative flirt, never danced between all those boys. Because she knew that if she did, there was someone at home who would get angry.

And Xu Qinghuan was even stranger than Lin An.

She barely had much of a moral compass. She was the one who taught Lin An that selfish people could find happiness, that abandoning the person you loved could bring happiness too. She was also the kind of person who could effortlessly control every social circle. She could show many different sides of herself. She knew a lot.

But Lin An understood that she was tired.

The more someone understood, the more tired they became. They could see the ending from the very beginning, or the beginning from the ending. But she still had no power to change how things were. Or maybe... it simply took too much out of her.

So the two of them leaned on each other in that little home. When they were sad, they talked and kept each other warm. Most of the time, they said nothing at all. A drink, a hug, and sleeping together was enough.

It was just that before Lin An met Su Yuejin, it had already been a long time since Xu Qinghuan had held him. Maybe that was exactly why greed had stirred in him. Why, on the day he met Su Yuejin, he became the version of himself she was most likely to like.

To be precise, both he and Xu Qinghuan were like that. They spoke like a person to people and like a ghost to ghosts. They were used to wearing a mask so others couldn’t see their real selves. Used to winning favor to gain convenience. That was why they lived so falsely.

But being a little fake was fine too. It didn’t matter that much.

Still, Lin An didn’t want to deceive someone’s feelings. So the next day, he cut things off cleanly. But after getting tangled up again, he still softened in the end. Su Yuejin was like an octopus covered in tentacles. Several suckers had latched tightly onto him. Even if he tore them off, they’d still leave behind that sticky feeling. But Lin An was afraid. If he really tried to rip them all away one day... would it hurt?

Lin An had already hurt once back in middle school.

Not as much as Kaneki, though.

Back in middle school, the death of his adoptive parents had been a huge blow to both Lin An and Xu Qinghuan. They had grown up starved of love, but their adoptive parents had truly loved them. So they gave back the same love in return. Sadly, before they could repay any of it... everything had already turned into regret.

So at the time, he was in a lot of pain. Two people who had truly loved him were gone from this world. His heart ached with emptiness. But at that same time, the girl he had truly loved, truly liked, the one he had wanted to stay with for a lifetime, also left his side.

And it was then that Xu Qinghuan finally broke through all his defenses and entered his world completely. Then she left behind a mark that belonged only to her, one Lin An could never forget and never separate from.

But even Xu Qinghuan couldn’t make Lin An completely forget that ex-girlfriend from middle school. Though maybe that was fine. Xu Qinghuan knew Lin An would never love her again. What remained was hate. His own hate, and hate guided by Xu Qinghuan.

Xu Qinghuan’s thoughts were actually very simple...

Back then, I let you stay by his side because he really loved you, and I couldn’t make him love me. Maybe... letting you two be together wasn’t so bad. But you were the one who chose to leave. From now on, you will never have even the slightest chance to regret it!

But all that was just old history now. Lin An didn’t think he would ever cross paths with that girl from middle school again. He didn’t even want to think of her name, her face, or her voice. He should’ve forgotten her long ago.

Lin An finished his gin and tonic, but Xu Qinghuan still had a small sip left. She said she couldn’t finish it. Lin An looked into her eyes. Xu Qinghuan then slurped the last bit of gin and tonic up through the straw, cheeks puffed full.

Then Lin An leaned closer. She caught his lips and kissed him carefully. The fizzy bubbles burst inside their mouths, sweet and tart.

…

The next morning, Lin An got up early and made breakfast. He didn’t put on his schoolbag. He went downstairs and walked to school.

Today was Monday. The results from the last monthly exam were supposed to come out. Lin An could more or less guess how it would end, so he wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Expectation was meaningless. There was nothing worth showing off in any of it.

School life didn’t have that many earth-shaking twists, and it shouldn’t. No trashy plots like breakups, catfights, school bullying, romance, or pregnancy. School should just be school. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone were just pure kids?

Though Lin An really hated kids.