To be honest, I’m not particularly fond of dealing with this kind of “group activity.”

I mean dinner gatherings.

I’ve never been able to appreciate our country’s dining-table culture.

When a leader shows up, you have to toast them.

If you’re late, you have to drink as punishment.

If you want to build connections, you have to keep drinking…

At middle-school and college reunions, everyone rents out a KTV or a bar and drinks together. If you don’t drink, you’re not a bro. If you don’t drink, you’re not a friend.

When the student union or a club holds a meeting, everyone reserves a spot at an outdoor barbecue stall. They eat barbecue, drink, and discuss work all at once. If you don’t show up, you’re not a club officer. If you don’t show up, the president won’t nominate you in the next election. If you don’t show up, you’re the number-one seed of NetEase Cloud depression, hiding away with anxiety and depression.

Society was even more outrageous. Drinking-table culture and dinner-party culture were carried to their fullest extent, spawning a whole mountain of rules over the decades.

Sometimes, I even suspected that this whole thing had been invented by a group of capitalists, just like diamonds.

Alcohol was clearly bitter and didn’t even taste good. Yet the mainstream opinion insisted that “you drink when you’re in a bad mood,” that “bitter liquor turns to tears in the heart,” and that “a man who can drink is a real man.”

It was exactly the same trick diamond capitalists used when they tied a completely useless rock to the concept of “love.”

But not appreciating something didn’t mean I couldn’t do it.

It was just like how Heaven had forced me to become someone else’s girlfriend. As a man—at least, a former man—I instinctively rejected the whole idea.

But I had no choice. With my current circumstances, there was no way I could repay the loan unless I did this. If too much time passed and I still couldn’t pay, those people would call my “mother,” and then I’d be in real trouble.

Therefore, no matter how unwilling I was, I could only try to learn how to become an “ideal girlfriend.”

Just like looking for a job in my previous life: if you don’t know how, then learn.

There was a line in the TV drama *In the Name of the People*:

“To dare to commit the greatest taboo under Heaven—that is the character of one who accomplishes great things. If we refuse to become someone else’s plaything, how can we ever get the chance to make them our plaything?”

“Liang Zhiming, I have to hand it to you. You’re popular with women.”

Holding my sesame candy, Wang Lei—the man in the suit—stood there in a daze for several seconds. He seemed to be accepting the fact that his “good brother” had really gotten himself another “beautiful girlfriend.”

Then he waved a hand.

“All right. Since everyone’s here, dig in. It’s my treat today, so don’t hold back!”

With that, he pulled the “Wang Qian” who hadn’t said a single word since the beginning toward another dining table.

“Heh-heh. Look how green his face is.”

After sitting down beside Liang Zhiming, the guy leaned toward me.

“I feel like the male lead in one of those wish-fulfillment novels. His bro steals his girlfriend, so he finds an even prettier girlfriend and pretends to be weak while secretly showing off.”

“Ahaha…”

I gave an awkward little laugh. Then I put on the expression of a greedy kitten and stared at the food in front of me.

“Um… can we eat now?”

“Of course! Go ahead!”

Before Liang Zhiming could say anything, a single guy sitting across from us spoke up.

“Aren’t you Brother Zhiming’s girlfriend? Eat whatever you want.”

“Exactly. Xiaoxue, just take whatever you want. Don’t be shy, haha.”

For a moment, the entire dining table was filled with cheerful energy.

I maintained my previous hungry-kitten expression and added a hint of delight.

“Th-thank you!”

Then I picked up my chopsticks and took a piece of spare rib.

According to my memories, I had the kind of body that never gained weight from eating.

Or rather, I had the “everything I eat goes toward my chest and butt” physique of a “perfect anime girl.” My female classmates had always been insanely jealous of me for it.

Just when I thought my first job today would happily pass in eating and drinking, the “Wang Qian” at the other table suddenly stood up.

She walked over to Liang Zhiming and grabbed his arm without giving him a chance to refuse.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

The heavily made-up woman pointed toward the door.

“Outside.”

“What for?”

Liang Zhiming looked thoroughly annoyed.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“Stop acting like such a girl. Come out.”

Wang Qian clearly had no intention of giving Liang Zhiming any face. She simply dragged him toward the door.

“Hey, hey! What are you doing?”

“What the hell are you up to…”

The door closed, and their voices gradually faded away.

Hmm…

I glanced toward the entrance.

In a situation like this, would it be better to let the two of them handle it themselves?

“Hello.”

At that moment, the “Wang Lei” from the other table walked over. He casually sat down in Liang Zhiming’s original seat and raised his phone toward me.

“Can we talk?”

The large screen of the brand-name phone, which looked like the latest model and probably cost more than ten thousand yuan, displayed my personal information on the Hualimao app.

Username: Xiaoxue

Hualimao Platinum Contracted User

I froze for a moment and lowered my voice.

“This is my job.”

“I know it’s your job. I didn’t come over to confront you.”

Wang Lei put away his phone and spoke in a very low voice.

“How much has he told you about this?”

“You mean…”

I pretended to stay calm and ladled myself a bowl of soup.

“Which thing?”

“Ah, forget it. I’ll be straight with you. This whole thing was intentional.”

“…”

I chose to remain silent.

“Everyone at this table used to be one of our good friends back in high school.”

Wang Lei gestured toward the several boys across from us.

“Back then, we skipped class to play games at Internet cafes together. We messed around and went crazy together. Whenever we were on break, we’d come out to drink and get wasted. We were brothers forged from steel.”

“Brother Zhi’s problem is that he’s too much of a simp. He and Wang Qian grew up together, so we knew they had a deep relationship. But Wang Qian…”

“To be honest, I’ve felt since high school that she wasn’t the kind of woman you could marry and spend your life with.”

Wang Lei picked up a disposable cup and poured himself a drink.

“Even back in high school, Brother Zhi skipped meals more than once just to buy Wang Qian gifts. There were plenty of times when we arranged to go online together over the weekend, but when the time came, Brother Zhi didn’t show up.”

“Instead, he went shopping with Wang Qian on an empty stomach. Not long after returning to school, he fainted from low blood sugar. Things like that happened more than five times during those three years of high school.”

“At first, Wang Qian would accompany Brother Zhi to the school clinic. Later, she couldn’t even be bothered to look at him.”

“Her boyfriend accompanied her shopping, paid for everything, skipped breakfast and lunch, carried her bags back to school, and finally fainted from low blood sugar. Yet his girlfriend didn’t feel even a trace of guilt.”

“At the time, all of us brothers thought… Brother Zhi was just too pathetic.”

I drank my soup and quietly listened to Wang Lei’s explanation.

“Then they went to college. Wang Qian often demanded that Brother Zhi buy her luxury handbags and designer cosmetics. She’d say that any man unwilling to spend money on a woman couldn’t possibly be sincere.”

“‘You handle making money and supporting the family. I’ll handle being beautiful.’ She said things like that all the time.”

“Brother Zhi often told us about it. He said that once he entered college, he ate only one meal a day. He was usually too stingy to even buy bottled water.”

“Liang Zhiming is actually pretty thin-skinned in his own way. He just didn’t want to become the kind of single loser people talked about online. He figured that, no matter what, having a girlfriend was better than having none.”

“So he kept enduring it. He couldn’t bring himself to break up with her.”

“Later, the few of us brothers discussed it. We thought, why not have me win Wang Qian back? That way, Brother Zhi could see her true colors and understand that a girlfriend like that wasn’t worth it.”

“After that, I’d slowly find an excuse to break up with her.”

“What we didn’t expect was that Brother Zhi would actually call you over just to save face.”

Oh…

At this point, I finally understood the whole chain of events.

The touching friendship between men…

“I tried bragging about my family’s wealth to you earlier. You and Wang Qian seemed like completely different kinds of people. You…”

Wang Lei downed his drink in one gulp. Then, with a crisp *crack*, he bit through the sesame candy I had handed him earlier.

“Xiaoxue, you’re a good girl.”

Oh no, sir. I am not a good girl.

I’m vain. I come from poverty. I’m indifferent to family. I have a withdrawn personality and an extremely fragile heart. I’m NetEase Cloud’s number-one depression candidate. I don’t have a single true friend.

Whenever my QQ receives a new message, it’s always something like, “Your Yellow Diamond membership has sent you another gift!” or, “A premium VIP gift has landed in your account!”

I owed twenty thousand yuan and wanted to kill myself.

Even the current me, beneath this beautiful skin, was nothing more than the soul of a down-and-out “middle-aged uncle.”

Xiaoxue was already dead!

You picked the wrong idol, damn it!

“Then…”

After finishing my soup, I put down my chopsticks and turned to look at Wang Lei.

“What should I do next?”

“Just follow the requirements of your job.”

Wang Lei glanced toward the door again.

“I provoked Wang Qian a little earlier. They’re probably arguing outside by now. When Liang Zhiming comes back in, just comfort him a little.”

“Speaking of which, your appearance was a complete accident for us. But maybe that’s for the best. I really don’t want my good brother to lose faith in every woman in the world because of this.”

I nodded.

“Understood.”

“By the way, miss, can I add you on WeChat?”

“What for?”

“You’re still working at this hour, so you must be pretty short on money. Take it as compensation for helping us. Or you can give me your Alipay payment code.”

“How much do you charge per hour? I’ll pay Liang Zhiming’s share.”

“The system has already deducted the money.”

I answered calmly.

“When the time is up, and both sides confirm the session, the money will be transferred to my account. So there’s no need for compensation.”

Right then, the door was pushed open from outside.

Liang Zhiming and Wang Qian walked back in.

“Brother Zhi.”

Wang Lei hurriedly stood up.

“Sorry. Your girlfriend is just too beautiful, so I chatted with her for a bit.”

“It’s fine. I know you like doing this kind of thing.”

Ignoring Wang Lei, Liang Zhiming sat down beside me.

“Without comparison, you never know how much damage there is.”

He spoke gloomily as he poured himself a cup of liquor. Then he drained it in one go.

“What’s wrong?”

I pretended to sound concerned.

“Are you all right?”

“Boo-hoo… Xiaoxue really is the best.”

He shot a disdainful glance at Wang Lei’s back as the man returned to his seat. Then he lowered his voice.

“What did he say to you just now?”

I answered vaguely.

“He told me a few little stories. I guess he was trying to cheer me up.”

“Heh. That Wang Lei. The moment he got rich, he turned into this kind of person. You couldn’t tell at all when we used to go to Internet cafes and play games together.”

“It’s okay. It’s all in the past now.”

I casually picked up this guy’s soup bowl and skillfully filled it for him.

“Eat first!”