Lu Huai is in love!

Yan Ningning seriously suspected that was the case, and she’d give it about a sixty percent chance of being true.

Maybe it wasn’t love. Maybe he was just suffering through a one-sided crush.

As for who the girl was... she felt like that hardly needed saying.

Who was the girl who’d stayed by Lu Huai’s side the longest?

Yan Ningning.

Which girl treated Lu Huai the best, and never minded his social anxiety?

Yan Ningning!

Which girl was understanding, gentle, pretty, and even cooked for him?

Yan Ningning!

In Yan Ningning’s mind, Lu Huai’s head was probably filled with nothing but her name right now. Then he’d start getting nervous on his own, hesitating over how to bring it up to her.

In his mind, there were probably countless tiny people holding up her photo, bouncing around and shouting at the top of their lungs.

“Yan Ningning!”

“Yan Ningning!”

“Yan Ningning is the best!”

If it wasn’t like that...

Then why would Lu Huai be so distracted, so visibly restless?

Watching this boy, she’d noticed he’d been like this ever since Monday night.

When he ate, he was slow and dull. He didn’t even dare look up at her. Normally, that wouldn’t mean much. She was more or less used to his issues by now.

But these past few times had been completely different. Whenever he saw her, he’d blank out for a moment. His eyes would go empty, like his mind had drifted far away.

It was like her beauty had sucked his soul right out of him. Then he’d realize he’d lost composure and lower his head again.

It was all way too obvious. Yan Ningning felt like she’d already seen right through this boy. He always seemed so simple.

So she generously forgave some of Lu Huai’s awkward and impolite behavior.

Like how he’d drift off halfway through talking to her.

Or how he could stare into space and completely ignore her slightly crossed legs, and the way her toes curled a little on the sofa...

Would he say it out loud?

And if he did, how was she supposed to answer?

All of a sudden, Yan Ningning had a lot to think about.

But then something even more sudden happened. She realized things seemed a little different from what she’d imagined.

It was Wednesday night.

As usual, the girl came over to his house for dinner. But at the table, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Maybe it was because she’d taken an especially nice hot shower that day. Maybe it was because her study load was light and she didn’t have much homework, so she felt relaxed and still had energy, instead of being stuck in a hazy daze.

Maybe it was because... at that moment, the TV happened to be playing Big Fish.

That made her think of that heart-wrenching animated film.

So she spoke softly.

“Hey, Lu Huai?”

The boy looked up, glanced at her slightly, then quickly looked away.

“What is it...”

“You’ve been spacing out really easily lately. Did something happen?”

Normally, it was better not to poke directly at what someone was thinking inside, but... this might involve her, so Yan Ningning was extremely curious.

Curious to the point she could barely hold it back. Curious enough that she was afraid he might suddenly confess before she’d even prepared an answer.

He lowered his head again.

“It’s nothing...”

“If something’s wrong, you can tell me. Unless you don’t see me as a friend anymore.”

“But... it’s really hard to say...”

Seeing how reluctant he was to speak, this girl who could usually understand him in so many things suddenly felt he was being way too slow.

“Then let me ask you this. Does it have anything to do with me?”

Yan Ningning felt her face burning. It was genuinely hot.

She couldn’t even taste the food in her mouth anymore.

At that moment, she was truly nervous. Nervous beyond words.

But Lu Huai answered quickly, so quickly she had no time to brace herself.

“It has nothing to do with you... It’s something... in our class...”

And then, boom. It was like a bomb had gone off.

Nothing to do with you.

In our class.

The word “something” was completely ignored. Or rather, the girl instinctively took it as a euphemism.

Which meant he really might... actually have someone he liked.

But she was in his class.

In his class?

Who the hell had the right to steal her place in Lu Huai’s eyes?!

It wasn’t like Yan Ningning was crazily in love with Lu Huai or anything. But this feeling of being replaced, of losing her presence in his world, felt awful. It had gone beyond simple irritation. She was almost at the edge of anger, of breaking down.

That extreme emotion only lasted for a tiny instant.

But Yan Ningning’s whole aura dimmed because of it.

She went quiet all at once.

In that instant, Yan Ningning had so much she wanted to say. So, so much.

Like asking who it was that had him this troubled.

Who was the person who’d left him looking so lost and absent...

But in the end, she opened her mouth and couldn’t say a single word.

The bright light spilled down over her. Yan Ningning shrank in a little, feeling like she was surrounded by freezing seawater. She even felt like a clown.

No one knew what she was really thinking inside, but... she knew.

It seemed like she’d just been flattering herself...

“I’m done eating. I’m heading back first...”

And just like that, Yan Ningning left.

He didn’t even notice that her mood had changed at all.

She didn’t know how she managed to fall asleep that Wednesday night.

She thought about a lot of things. That one simple denial from Lu Huai had stirred up countless thoughts, only for them to fade away in the end.

What did it have to do with her anyway...

It was just his business...

Besides, what was so great about him...

He wasn’t worth her thinking this much... worth struggling with her emotions like this...

Extra, extra, extra, all of it was extra!!

The girl who’d been lying there trying to force herself to sleep suddenly rolled over, grabbed her pillow, and beat it up furiously.

It was like she was treating the pillow as Lu Huai after he’d fallen into her hands. But then she quickly thought... why would Lu Huai be on her bed?

So the girl blushed and threw the pillow away again.

By Thursday morning, Yan Ningning realized she was a little sleepy... She hadn’t slept well...

When she went out, she shot a fierce glare at Lu Huai’s front door.

She decided to ignore Lu Huai.

It was a hasty decision, sure, but that was how young people’s emotions worked. One feeling a day, one decision a moment.

What she was even more curious about was this: in Class Five, who exactly had become the person Lu Huai liked but didn’t dare confess to?

Lin Ruoxing?

The more she thought about it, the more that seemed like the only possibility. But... what connection could there possibly be between Lin Ruoxing and Lu Huai?

Was it just admiration based on looks?

Who knew... and what the hell did it have to do with her?!

That whole morning, Yan Ningning couldn’t focus properly in class. The more she thought about it, the more it all seemed like Lu Huai’s fault. That jerk...

Until school let out in the afternoon.

On the way home after school.

“Oh right, Jiang Yao, why were you so mad today?”

Walking this route with Yan Ningning were two girls. One was her good friend from her own class, Chen Jie. The other was Jiang Yao from Class Five.

She got along well with both of them, and they happened to be going the same way, so they often walked together. Their friendship had gradually grown closer too.

It was Chen Jie who asked that question. Yan Ningning turned her head to look over.

“Mad? Mad about what?”

Jiang Yao let out a helpless sigh.

“Nothing much... just the blackboard newspaper thing.”

“The blackboard newspaper? What’s there to get mad about? That’s not even as big a deal as me farting.”

Yan Ningning felt helpless, but... this was just how girls talked with each other sometimes. They could be pretty rough. And Chen Jie happened to be the most carefree one out of the three.

Jiang Yao looked even more helpless.

“It really wasn’t a big deal at first. I’ve always been in charge of Class Five’s blackboard newspaper, since I’m an art student... but I don’t know if our homeroom teacher lost it or what, because she actually made that Lu Huai guy do the blackboard newspaper with me!”

The name Lu Huai came up out of nowhere.

Even Yan Ningning herself hadn’t expected that. In fact, they didn’t know she and Lu Huai were not only neighbors, but childhood friends too, because... Lu Huai never talked about it, and he had so little presence that she naturally never had a chance to let anyone know. Even running into Lu Huai at school was rare, let alone exchanging a few words.

“Lu Huai? Sounds kind of familiar.”

“It’s that guy who’s always all shut-in and gloomy!”

“Oh... that one. Right, I remember now. He looks kind of depressed.”

“Exactly!”

“Wait, then what are you mad about?”

Yan Ningning cut off their negative comments about Lu Huai. She didn’t like hearing that, because in her eyes, they had no idea what had happened to him to make him like this.

She didn’t want to explain either, because not everyone could understand those things. If people found out and used it to mock Lu Huai even more cruelly, that would be her fault.

Jiang Yao didn’t seem to notice that Yan Ningning wasn’t sharing the same pleasure they got from mocking someone behind his back. She was only watching coldly.

“Of course I’m mad! It’s already Thursday! I finished my section on Tuesday, and he still hasn’t written a single word! It wouldn’t even be a big deal otherwise. Even if the score turned out bad, no one would blame him. But him not writing anything at all is way too much, right? I went to Teacher Xu, and she didn’t care either! Fine, then I won’t care either. Whoever wants to deal with it can deal with it. Just don’t blame me when the score comes out bad. I’m seriously pissed. This is the first time I’ve met a guy this wishy-washy...”

They said a few more things after that, but Yan Ningning stopped paying attention.

Because she suddenly realized why Lu Huai had been acting so strangely these past few days.

It wasn’t because he’d fallen for someone...

It was because of something that looked simple to everyone else.

Simple for other people, maybe. Not necessarily for Lu Huai.

She could almost imagine what he’d been thinking. He wasn’t thinking about the blackboard newspaper itself. He was thinking about the consequences of writing something like that. He definitely wouldn’t think about the good side. He’d only think about what would happen if he messed it up.

Maybe at first, there’d still been a slight chance he could do it. But after that initial retreat, and then Jiang Yao getting angry... he was probably in living hell right now.

Yan Ningning went home. She thought for a long time, hesitated for a long time, and in the end still knocked on his door.

It was already close to nine at night.

Not long after, Lu Huai opened the door.

The boy looked exhausted. Even though he’d just showered, he still looked like he’d been drained dry.

Tomorrow was Friday, the day the blackboard newspaper would be graded. Hardly any normal student would care about something like that, but because it was Lu Huai... Yan Ningning had paid attention to it.

Looking at the boy, Yan Ningning guessed he’d probably already chosen to give up and wait for death.

It was the usual ostrich strategy.

When a problem appeared, he’d feel like there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t take even one step forward to try and deal with it.

Then once the result came down, he’d somehow find courage again. Not the courage to fix things after the fact, but the kind that said, well, it’s already happened, so what can you do to me? You’re not going to expel me, right?

On a lot of people, that kind of attitude really would be infuriating.

But with the boy in front of her, all Yan Ningning could feel was... helplessness, and a little heartache.

“What is it...”

he asked softly.

Yan Ningning thought for a moment, then still shook her head.

She wasn’t going to use this to pressure him after all. What could she even say? Could a sentence or two really make him regain his confidence? If that were possible, she would’ve done it long ago...

“Nothing. Just wanted to ask if you’d eaten.”

Lu Huai thought for a moment, then nodded.

“I have... I ordered takeout...”

“Alright then. Go to bed early. I’m heading back.”

“Okay...”

He was probably really down, huh?

Yan Ningning let out a sigh.

Right now, she couldn't even bring herself to say a word of comfort.

What else could she even say?

All she could do was hope this wouldn't hit him too hard. What was there that she could actually help with?

Maybe the only thing she could do was find a chance to talk to Jiang Yao properly, and try her best to understand that boy a little more.

But something this small also easily made Yan Ningning think ahead. If Lu Huai kept going on like this in the future... what would his life turn into?

Had he really thought it through...? His family would never allow him to drift along in a daze forever...

She held so many thoughts, so many tangled feelings. In the end, they all turned into impossible options under the weight of countless reasons.

What was the point of worrying so much... He was an isolated island that wouldn't even open his heart.

A 52-hertz Alice.

When she got to school, she happened to run into Jiang Yao at the gate, eating breakfast.

Half intentionally, half casually, she brought up the blackboard newspaper.

Jiang Yao sounded utterly helpless about it. "Forget it. I'll just go help him finish it later. Mr. Xu will probably still ask me to anyway. Leaving it completely blank would look way too bad."

This outcome was undoubtedly the best one... even if it might make that boy notice and feel, in the end, that he'd troubled someone else and dragged someone else down... which, of course, was true.

But if there was anyone who felt even the slightest bit that he was a little innocent in all this, it was probably only her.

"That boy... maybe he has his own difficulties."

Yan Ningning still said it in the end.

It counted as half a word in Lu Huai's defense.

Jiang Yao only smiled.

"What difficulties, my ass. If anyone's got it hard, isn't it me?"

"That's true... heh..."

Some things just couldn't be said out loud anymore.

Yan Ningning felt pretty helpless too.

At that moment, Jiang Yao's helpless smile sank into her heart. It matched the image of that boy with his head lowered, silent, wearing a self-blaming expression.

Yan Ningning felt she wouldn't bring up the blackboard newspaper again. She'd leave him a bit of dignity. He probably didn't want people talking about it either...

But she hadn't expected Jiang Yao to bring it up again at lunch in the cafeteria.

"I think... our class might actually get first place for this blackboard newspaper."

"You're that confident in yourself?"

Yan Ningning casually echoed her.

Jiang Yao laughed, her face carrying a spirited confidence she hadn't had that morning.

"It doesn't really have much to do with my section. It's the content..."

Chen Jie leaned over. "What did you write?"

"Yeah, what did you write? You're way too excited. Isn't this a bit much?"

"I didn't write it."

That one sentence left both Chen Jie and Yan Ningning a little slow to react.

Chen Jie was probably less confused, but Yan Ningning was genuinely full of questions.

If Jiang Yao hadn't helped finish it, then who had? Xu Zhixi?

"Don't tell me it was that Lu Huai you mentioned? He's not shutting himself off anymore?"

When Jiang Yao answered, her face was filled with complicated emotions.

"I'm telling you, it was so weird! Yesterday after school, the blackboard was still completely empty. But when I got to school this morning, I found... it was filled up. It was a National Day themed blackboard newspaper, and the handwriting was so beautiful I was stunned. I had no idea who wrote it. Then Lin Ruoxing told me it was Lu Huai, and I was scared to death! He really wrote it. And whether it's the content or the handwriting, at least in this school, I haven't seen anyone better than him. I'm seriously impressed!"

After that, Yan Ningning didn't hear much of the conversation between Chen Jie and Jiang Yao.

Because her thoughts had already been flooded by a strange emotion.

Lu Huai wrote it...

How did he do it?

He really wrote it?

Wait... it wasn't there after school yesterday, but it was there this morning...

Then that could only mean Lu Huai wrote it after school!

That possibility made Yan Ningning understand a lot in an instant, but there were still things she couldn't figure out.

With Lu Huai, if something wasn't done at the start, it usually became hard for him to do it afterward. He simply wasn't the kind of person who was good at turning things around, good at pulling off a comeback. So this was real?

So during lunch break, Yan Ningning couldn't hold herself back anymore and went alone to Class Five's classroom.

At last, under the blazing afternoon sun that wasn't gentle in the slightest, Yan Ningning stood in the corridor and saw the piece on the blackboard: "National Day - Memorial."

The moment she saw the handwriting, she knew it really was written by Lu Huai.

She knew that ever since he was little, he'd been made to practice copybooks constantly. He had never systematically studied calligraphy, but his handwriting was far prettier than that of many people his age.

And the content... there was no need to doubt that either. Yan Ningning had seen Lu Huai's essays before. Ever since middle school, writing had been one of his strengths.

She couldn't help walking into the empty classroom and up to the blackboard.

And at last, within this stirring blackboard newspaper about the martyrs, she saw something different.

It was unwillingness.

It was anger.

It was questioning.

It was fire compressed to the point of bursting.

She didn't know what she was feeling right then. She only thought of that boy struggling from Tuesday all the way to after school on Thursday.

Maybe he had stood here for a long, long time, blankly staring.

Burdened by self-blame, and by anger at himself...

And only then had he finally written this.

Yan Ningning didn't know what exactly had made him decide, what had made him take that step.

At this moment... her nose felt a little sour, and her eyes grew a little hot.

To others, this was just an incident that might have seemed a little unexpected.

But she knew that for Lu Huai... it had been a real mountain.

A knot in the heart that couldn't be let go.

A real test.

And he...

"See? You can do it."