“Yes, we’ve been dating for half a year,” Tie Niu said, a little shyly.

After getting confirmation, Zhong Cheng felt like he’d just been struck by lightning.

He’d assumed Tie Niu definitely still didn’t have a girlfriend. After all, his family was poor, and he lived in this remote mountain village. How could he possibly have gotten one?

Who knew reality would slap him in the face at light speed. Smack, smack, smack.

This guy looked so simple and honest, almost a little dense. And yet he already had a girlfriend. Who would believe that?

Even Zhong Cheng didn’t have a girlfriend!

Wasn’t Zhong Cheng supposed to be the one with better prospects? Then why was he still single, while Tie Niu had already gotten ahead of him?

Looking at Tie Niu’s shy, happy expression, it didn’t seem like he was lying.

Zhong Cheng suddenly felt a little sour.

“Who’s your girlfriend? How did you two get together?” Zhong Cheng quickly asked.

“We met online,” Tie Niu said. “We really clicked, and we played games together a lot. One time, on impulse, I confessed to her, and she said yes.”

So they met online. Zhong Cheng felt a bit relieved.

A lot of online relationships were scams. The other side could even be a catfish, specifically out to toy with honest guys like Tie Niu.

Zhong Cheng immediately warned him to be careful, or he might get scammed and lose both money and feelings.

“Relax. I may not be highly educated, but I’m not that easy to fool. We video chat all the time, and we’ve met in person too. Actually, her conditions are really good. I even feel like I’m not good enough for her. But she doesn’t mind at all.”

“One time, I told her what I really thought and said I wasn’t worthy of her. She scolded me for it. Her eyes even turned red, and she told me I wasn’t allowed to say that again. She was really cute then,” Tie Niu said, sounding a little intoxicated by the memory.

Really?

Wasn’t everyone saying girls these days were super materialistic? That before marriage, you had to have a house and a car, and the bride price had to be at least two hundred thousand?

Zhong Cheng felt Tie Niu was probably exaggerating. If the girl’s conditions were really that good, how could she possibly fall for Tie Niu?

Maybe it was just his vanity talking. That was only human. Zhong Cheng didn’t plan to expose him and hurt his pride.

“This is my girlfriend’s photo.”

Tie Niu seemed to notice Zhong Cheng didn’t believe him. He took out his phone, opened his photo album, and showed him.

The moment Zhong Cheng saw the beauty in the photos, he instantly felt even more sour.

There were a lot of pictures. Tie Niu kept swiping through them for him.

The more Zhong Cheng looked, the more bitter he felt inside.

How was it that Tie Niu, with such poor conditions, could date such a pretty girlfriend, while he, with such good conditions, had been promised to the Ghost Emperor?

Baby’s heart hurts, but baby can’t say it.

Wait.

Zhong Cheng suddenly noticed that Tie Niu’s phone wasn’t cheap. It was actually the latest iPhone 12, in flashy blue.

“Tie Niu, is this your phone?” Zhong Cheng asked.

“Yeah. Just bought it. It works great, doesn’t lag,” Tie Niu said honestly.

“You’re not being kept by someone, are you?” Zhong Cheng asked.

“No way. Even if I starved to death, I wouldn’t live off a woman,” Tie Niu said.

“Then the money for the phone...” Zhong Cheng said.

“Of course I earned it myself,” Tie Niu replied.

“You didn’t do anything illegal, did you? Or sell a kidney?” Zhong Cheng asked.

“How could that be? It’s all legal income. Don’t worry. It’ll stand up to inspection,” Tie Niu said.

Really?

Zhong Cheng just couldn’t believe it.

He was seriously worried his childhood friend had sold a kidney just to satisfy some momentary vanity and buy a phone.

Then later, his wife would complain in bed that he was useless, run off with the guy next door, and he’d end up wearing a whole Hulunbuir grassland on his head.

“Right, perfect timing. You don’t mind being on camera, do you?” Tie Niu asked.

“On camera?”

Under Zhong Cheng’s puzzled gaze, Tie Niu had already opened some app on his phone. Then he pulled out a selfie stick, clipped the phone on, and started filming himself.

“Ciao~! Hey everyone, it’s your village Tie Niu. It’s livestream time again. Miss me? Today I didn’t go work in the fields, ’cause my childhood buddy from the city came back.”

“See him? This is my childhood friend, Zhong Cheng. Handsome, right? He’s the educated one our village raised, a student from a top university, a promising young man with a limitless future, ciao~!”

Tie Niu threw an arm around Zhong Cheng’s shoulder. He was absurdly enthusiastic, smiling with that same honest face, and even raised a hand in a flashy little 666 gesture.

The whole vibe changed in an instant.

It changed so hard that Zhong Cheng didn’t even know where to start roasting it.

Who would’ve thought Tie Niu actually knew how to livestream, and was even good at it? He was weirdly hyped too.

Caught on camera all of a sudden, Zhong Cheng was a little at a loss.

Tie Niu, meanwhile, looked completely relaxed. Once he got talking, he just kept going. His Mandarin mixed with his hometown accent was ridiculously goofy.

That random “ciao,” plus the constantly waving 666 hand sign, was packed with roast-worthy points.

This was supposed to be a simple, rustic mountain village vibe. Suddenly it had turned into... this.

Something was very off.

On the phone screen, Zhong Cheng saw a flood of comments appear. Some were greeting him. Some said he wasn’t as handsome as they were. Some asked what university he attended.

The screen was completely overrun by comments.

Dense firepower. Full-area bombardment.

“Don’t be shy. Say hi to everyone. They’re all kind and simple villagers. Right or not, ciao~!”

“...Hello, everyone. I’m Zhong Cheng.”

A little awkwardly, Zhong Cheng raised his hand and greeted the camera, wearing an awkward yet still elegant smile.

The screen was instantly flooded with comments again.

“When did you start livestreaming?” Zhong Cheng asked in a low voice.

“Almost two years ago. I’m doing okay. Got over two million followers, ciao~!” Tie Niu said, throwing up that 666 gesture again.

“...”

Zhong Cheng wanted to ask what exactly that “ciao” was supposed to mean, and whether it could maybe be omitted.

He never would’ve guessed that the simple, honest-looking Tie Niu had such an unserious side. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he’d never have believed it.

Over two million followers. That counted as an influencer, didn’t it?

No wonder Tie Niu had money and could afford an iPhone 12.

This guy really knew how to hide his true colors.

“It’s not just livestreaming. Sometimes I also make short videos and post on Douyin. It’s all about mountain village life. I only started doing this because I was bored. I thought content this plain would be hard to make popular, but it unexpectedly blew up.”

“Now I stream at least five or six hours every day, ciao~!” Tie Niu said.

It really was unexpected.

So could that “ciao” seriously not be skipped?

Zhong Cheng couldn’t figure out what Tie Niu’s deal was. The second he started streaming, he slipped into character and couldn’t come back out. He could clearly speak standard Mandarin, but he insisted on adding that rustic flavor and acting like a goofy country bumpkin.

Tie Niu kept talking to the camera, making gestures, calling his followers “villagers,” and dragging Zhong Cheng into it too. Together they talked about how naughty they’d been as kids in the countryside, and what games they used to play.

To Zhong Cheng and Tie Niu, these were the most ordinary childhood memories. You could even call them stupid black-history moments.

But to the viewers in the livestream, they were fresh and hilarious. Gifts kept pouring in.

When Zhong Cheng saw those gifts, his eyes nearly popped out. He thought to himself that Tie Niu definitely made a lot every month.

He was clearly earning good money, yet he still dressed like some weathered, down-and-out guy, in a ripped T-shirt and faded jeans.

He was obviously pretending to be poor.

This Tie Niu really knew how to put on an act.

Later, Zhong Cheng learned that Tie Niu had actually already bought a place in the city. And not just any place, but a huge flat in the city center.

He just hadn’t moved there because living in the city wasn’t convenient for his livestreaming career, so he’d stayed in the village the whole time.

So sour...

It felt like even his stomach acid was coming up.

[Zhong Cheng? Isn’t he the groom from that ghost marriage last time?]

[Now that you mention it, I remember too. The groom from that ghost marriage was called Zhong Cheng.]

[Holy crap! Damn! Shocking! The groom himself is here to tell the tale!]

[So, groom, anything you want to say? Is your Ghost Emperor wife pretty or not?]

[I, Zhao Niutian, bow to no one, but I bow to you, bro. Your guts are insane. You married a Ghost Emperor.]

[So how’s married life with the Ghost Emperor going? Mind sharing a little? Curious.]

[Please give us something spicy (｡・`ω´･)]