I lifted the little girl into my arms. Her tiny, trembling hands rested on my chest. Her small mouth hung slightly open with ragged breaths, dark red eyes brimming with panic and fear. Only after I carefully settled her onto the sofa did her breathing slowly steady.

I sat in the center of the couch. She curled alone into a corner, cradling a porcelain cup of warm black tea. She took cautious sips, shooting me wary glances between each one.

I chuckled. *Who should be wary of whom, exactly?* For days you’ve tailed me, snuck into my apartment, even tried to hurt me. Thinking this, I shifted closer.

“Don’t move.”

She flinched to flee—but froze at my cold tone, shrinking even smaller into herself.

“What’s your name?” I sat beside her. One gentle reach could’ve pulled her into my arms—but I’m a gentleman, not a lolicon. So I simply ruffled her hair.

(By the way, I’d already fixed her cute fox-ear hairband. Stroking the soft faux fur always lightened my mood.)

She hadn’t dared resist since I disarmed her barehanded during her “assassination attempt” and gave her *that* spanking. I’d trained in Tai Chi—okay, just for a school competition—but still no match for a tiny loli like her.

“Ye… Ye Xiao Xian.”

“…”

“You share my surname? And Xiao Xian…” *cough cough* Forgive me—that name sparks *way* too many thoughts. I’m Ye Huaixian. She’s Ye Xiao Xian. And she just called me *Dad*…

“You’re messing with me, aren’t you?!” My voice sharpened. Insulting my IQ. She must’ve dug up my name and invented “Ye Xiao Xian” on the spot. Could Future Me really pick names *that* lazily?!

At my words, her face crumpled with wounded tears. She sobbed again.

“I… I’m not lying! My name *is* Ye Xiao Xian—Dad gave it to me! Dad’s the worst! He made Mom so sad… If only Mom had never met him…”

“…”

The info dump hit hard—but her tear-streaked face felt painfully genuine.

I sighed. “Listen. I am Ye Huaixian: first-year at Lanling High School, candidate for freshman representative, current vice monitor and student union office committee member, top contender for Model Student, crush of countless girls—but! I have *no* girlfriend. Zero relationships. Ever. From birth till now.”

“So I *cannot* have a child—especially not one your age!”

(Ye Xiao Xian—I’d use that name for now.) Her eyes widened in shock… then fresh sobs escaped.

“Mom… Mom said… Dad hit on her *exactly* like this… *hic*…”

“…"

Wait. My head’s spinning.

“What’s your mom’s name?”

“Yueyan… Jiang Yueyan.”

Boom. My brain short-circuited.

Yue… *Yueyan Senpai*?! My senior by one year—*the* Student Council President?!

!!!∑(ﾟДﾟノ)ノ