In short—all the blame had been dumped on me. That was why the two girls before me wore such terrifying expressions.

To my left, Mengxiang puffed out her cheeks, glaring at me with utter resentment in her eyes. To my right, Xiamo watched me silently, radiating confidence. Both waited for my choice.

But what could I choose?! For someone like me with crippling indecision—this was pure torture. It was like picking between a cat and a dog: the aloof, elegant feline or the energetic pup. Choose the cat, get bitten by the dog. Choose the dog, get scratched by the cat. Pick both or neither? Attacked by both.

So here was the dilemma: on the left, my lively, radiant childhood friend; on the right, my beautiful, cunning fake girlfriend. I couldn’t afford to offend either—but refusing to choose meant they’d utterly crush me.

What expression should I wear? What choice could I make?

Honestly, I’d never faced anything like this. My entire female social circle consisted of exactly three people: my childhood friend, my little sister, and my older mom. Sometimes a female teacher got added in. Beyond that? Zero chances to meet girls.

"You tell me—which of us is better? Me or this *kid*?!"

Before I could decide, Xiamo blurted out impatiently. Hey now—that wasn’t the calm, confident act from earlier!

"*Kid*?! So being tall makes you special?! I’d rather stay like this than turn into a wrinkly old hag like you someday!"

Mengxiang shot back instantly. These two kept tearing into each other right before my eyes—like a tiger and dragon locked in fierce combat.

"Oh ho... If you’re not a kid, what are you? You’re a high schooler already—don’t tell me only your age is growing, *shrimp*?!"

Xiamo narrowed her eyes, raking Mengxiang’s slender frame with a piercing gaze. Then her eyes dropped deliberately to Mengxiang’s flat chest—

"Still the same size, huh? Bet you haven’t upgraded your cup size since forever."

"Where the hell are you looking?!"

Mengxiang instinctively covered her chest, face burning crimson. No need to hide it—there was basically nothing there. Fifteen years as childhood neighbors? Of course I knew. Even after we stopped living next door last year, how could I forget?

That size really didn’t need a bra—wait! What the hell was I thinking?!

"No need to hide it! There’s nothing to squeeze out anyway!"

Xiamo thrust forward her own ample chest, wearing a smug grin as she voiced exactly what I’d just thought.

"W-what... I-I have a little something!"

Mengxiang’s face flooded with red. She fidgeted, then puffed out her chest in imitation—straining to show off what barely existed. Wait—was there actually a tiny bit?

Only then did I realize my eyes had been darting between their chests: one a towering peak, the other a flat plain.

Mengxiang covered her face with small hands, avoiding my gaze as she whispered:

"Even so... Xiao Yuan... Xiao Yuan’s always been a flat-chest lover, right? He used to peep at me bathing when we were kids..."

She couldn’t finish, too embarrassed. That was *childhood*! We’re adults now! Adults! Adults! (Important things need triple emphasis!)

"Surveys say flat chests are rare treasures—but nothing beats big ones! For future kids, for... *certain* sensations—small ones can’t compare! Right, darling? You prefer big too, don’t you?!"

Hey! Don’t dump this decision on me!

As she spoke, Xiamo grabbed my hand and pressed it against her soft breasts. I jolted like I’d been electrocuted. A tingling warmth shot through my body—every nerve screaming I was tumbling into endless corruption.

"Eh?!"

Mengxiang let out a trembling shriek, hands flying to cover her eyes even as she peeked through her fingers.

Xiamo, meanwhile, stayed eerily calm—though her grip loosened. Then came the twist: her face flushed deep red, her breathing growing ragged and tempting. Confused, I looked down—and froze. My right hand had moved on its own, greedily savoring the sensation?!

Ah?! The world was so beautiful! I felt like I’d witnessed Adam and Eve tasting the forbidden fruit. I was about to drown in bliss—until something deep inside warned me: *She’s faking this for show! Don’t fall for it!*

"W-what the hell are you doing?!"

I yanked my right hand back with my left, wrenching it from that soft, devouring paradise. But the lingering sensation on my fingertips left me dazed. My traitorous right hand even twitched, craving more.

To clear my head, I jammed it into my pocket and forced my eyes away from those peaks. Only then did I notice the crowd around us staring—oh crap...

"What am *I* doing? Remove ‘the hell’ and ‘what’ from your last sentence, darling. Figure it out."

Mengxiang and I both froze, reaching the same conclusion simultaneously—though my reaction was far less explosive than hers.

"You—you filthy pig! How dare you do something so shameless! Unforgivable!"

With that, Mengxiang dashed off toward home, tears streaming, grocery bag swinging. (She meant "shameless," not "don’t know your place"—nerves always made her tongue-tied.)

"Mengxiang—?!"

I lunged after her, but Xiamo grabbed my arm. She clearly didn’t want me chasing Mengxiang. Her voice turned stern, as if the earlier scene never happened:

"Where do you think you’re going?"

"It’s obvious—I have to find her—"

"And what about me? Forgotten the leverage I hold over you? I’m sick of being gawked at like a panda. Let’s go. *Now*."

Her tone held unprecedented menace—a threat disguised as concern. My heart screamed apologies to Mengxiang, but the damage was done. I trudged after this demon.

"You’re truly the worst—"

"Spare me. How’d it feel escaping that battlefield? Or was sinking into it kinda fun?"

Xiamo followed close behind, teasing me while replaying the scene in her head. A rare smile surfaced—though it was clearly the grin of someone thoroughly pleased with herself.

"If I could—I’d never go through that again!"

"Oh ho? Sounded reluctant. Both girls are cute, you know. Just accept it~ Though obviously, I’m the cutest."

To prove her point, she jiggled her chest again. Pull that trick too often, and it gets annoying.

(Though honestly? I fully agreed.)

"By the way, darling—how’s your little *self-satisfaction* holding up? No need to... release it later?"

Her gaze slid from my face to my pocketed right hand—

"Jerking off in public streets? Such a pervert, darling."

"What are you talking about?!"

I yanked my hand out to prove my innocence. After a stunned silence, she covered her crimson face and murmured something scandalous:

"I thought you could last longer... heh heh—"

"PERVERT! THERE’S A PERVERT HERE!"