Lunchtime, heavy rain poured outside. Sitting in the shop felt serenely detached from the world.

With rain this fierce, almost no one would buy ice cream. I could leisurely enjoy this quiet moment.

For shop owners, no customers meant panic. But for me, just a part-timer, it was perfect.

This thought might seem selfish. Yet it was my honest feeling.

A true saint who selflessly cares for everyone? Probably doesn’t exist. And if they did, it wouldn’t be me.

Living selflessly is exhausting. I just want to be an ordinary person—slightly selfish, but not too much.

I’ve never been picky about food. That habit started in childhood. Eating fast? That came from work.

Lunch breaks were short. Most adults live busy, tight schedules. Especially me, as a researcher.

Fuzzy memories told me I’d been a key scientist on the time machine project.

Sadly, I couldn’t recall the data or events clearly. Even what I remembered was hazy.

Otherwise, I might rebuild a time machine here. Fix errors from changing history.

Like if Yue Feather died in a car crash from the butterfly effect? My trip back would be pointless. A time machine could reset it.

Just like saving and loading in a game.

But I lacked those memories. This chance was my only one.

Maybe when I left for school as a kid, my working mom worried like this too?

I walked alone then. She probably feared I’d get hit by a car or kidnapped…

Funny how I now worry about Yue Feather facing such irreversible disasters.

Caring for someone is tiring. Not just physically—mentally draining too.

"Xiao Ling—" Su Yuanyuan cleared her throat softly. "You eat too fast. No rush. Take it slow."

"Ah, it’s fine."

"Ugh… that’s not the point…" Su Yuanyuan finally snapped. "Girls should chew slowly. Or no boy will like you later."

"Chew slowly? I’m just—" I almost said I was male. Then remembered my female body. "Must girls act like that?"

"Mm, girls should be ladylike."

"But isn’t gender equality a thing?" I argued, really just excusing my wolfing down food.

Changing decades of habits? Nearly impossible.

"Equality doesn’t mean ignoring your image."

"Doesn’t matter," I shrugged. "I won’t marry anyway."

Marry a man? Death would be better.

Future cross-dressing culture was mainstream. "Otokonoko" was common. But being pinned down by a man in bed? Unimaginable.

Disgusting.

"Nope. You’re not cute like this. How will you attract customers?" Su Yuanyuan grinned slyly, hinting at a threat.

Reading eyes was adult social skill 101. I instantly knew: the boss was forcing me to change for work.

She had a point. A poster girl uses charm to draw people. A tomboyish girl? Even pretty, few men would care.

Maybe in the future. Not now.

And even then, only soft, cute girls were popular.

Still…

I pictured a soft girl’s voice and gestures. That cutesy tone, those delicate moves…

I couldn’t pull it off! Trying would give me goosebumps.

"So… what should I do?"

I hated defying the boss. But I had to ask.

"First… um… am I being too naggy?"

"Not at all…"

"Well, girls must learn these things. Don’t mind it too much."

As if I could mind the boss’s words.

Though I scoffed at "things girls must learn."

"Posture matters. See? You sit with legs wide open. Men might think you’re… easy."

"It’s comfortable…" I scratched my head but obediently closed my legs.

Sitting loosely as a man felt natural. This felt awkward.

Being a woman was tough in every way.

Then I remembered the monthly bleeding. My head throbbed.

"Now place hands on your lap. Like this." The boss demonstrated.

"Like this?"

"Mm, much better. You’re pretty. With slight adjustments, you’ll have real feminine charm."

Honestly, I’d rather skip that "charm."

"Next, standing posture. Keep legs together…"

"When serving customers, smile gently. Not forced—it looks fake. Just a soft smile."

"Speak softer."

"No, no! You still sound like a man shouting!"

So on a customer-less afternoon, I endured posture training. Acting like a girl, speaking like one—it felt unnatural.

I had to force every move. One slip, and I’d revert to my old self.

Of course. I’d been a man for decades. A woman for barely two weeks.

I hated rainy days now. Sunny days meant customers. No endless "girl lessons"—even if my body was female.

Only as a woman did I appreciate men’s ease. No monthly weakness. No strict posture rules.

I always believed real men act naturally. No hesitation, no fuss.

Probably because I leaned toward male chauvinism.

Oh, in the future, people called that "toxic masculinity."

But I didn’t think women exploiting equality for privileges were any better.

After a day of training—especially fake-smiling drills—my face felt stiff.

Still, the mirror showed a hint of girlish grace.

Before, the reflection felt like my swapped body. Now? It felt like a stranger.

I really preferred being natural…

Maybe constant stomach aches made me seem delicately weak.

Dinner wasn’t delivery. I ate yesterday’s grilled sausages.

Ice cream shops sold snacks too. Evenings meant clearing unsold stock.

It reminded me of my cake shop job.

Back then, I ate leftover cakes daily.

After a month, cakes made me nauseous. That’s when I gained weight.

Already unattractive, getting fat made it worse. One reason I never had a girlfriend.

This time, I’d avoid that.

Summer break was near. I couldn’t recall Yue Feather’s exam dates.

This summer… my memories held no big events.

At most, I’d get scammed at a job—working a month unpaid.

It felt crushing then. Years later, comparing to bigger failures, I saw my younger self as naive.

I’d work at this ice cream shop. Wages were high. After summer, they wouldn’t need a poster girl. But summer pay could support my family.

As for Yue Feather…

I couldn’t remember where I got scammed. Or even the job type.

So I couldn’t warn him. Only offer general advice.

But too much ease isn’t good. Small setbacks build character.

Together, our summer jobs should cover living costs. We could eat more nutritious food.

Most importantly, save before my stepmom cut my allowance. Then I wouldn’t live in constant fear.

And it could also mend the regret from my past.

I remember when Wei Xiaoxin fell gravely ill. His family couldn’t afford the medical bills. He could have been saved, but in the end, he succumbed to the illness.

In fact, they’d already raised enough money by then. Sadly, it was too late.

He was the first friend I lost on my long life’s journey.

If I’d had enough savings back then, I could have helped them gather the fees sooner. Maybe Wei Xiaoxin wouldn’t have left this world.

This money-conscious guy—if he’d lived, he might have achieved great things. Thinking about it, it’s truly a shame.

Now that I can change history, I’ll do my best to fill all those regrets...