With a nervous heart, I opened the door. "Cute Teacher, I'm back!"

"Black and white, boys and girls! Haha, you lost! Another drink, another drink!"

This... must be the wrong way to open the door. Three beauties sat at the dining table, playing drinking games, clothes rumpled. Even if swapped for scruffy men, it’d feel just as natural—only less pleasant to look at.

"Huh? Yuchen’s back! Come join us!"

Join? Like hell! You two messing around is one thing, but dragging Xia Bing—a minor—into this? Are you all insane?

"Sisters, let’s stop drinking. I’ll cook dinner. What do you want tonight?"

"Huh!?" Ye Zixin slung an arm over my shoulder, staggering like she might collapse any second. I caught her waist to steady her. Her perfume mixed with strong liquor nearly knocked me out. These girls were terrifying—drinking baijiu straight?

"Hey! Kid..."

"W-what is it, Sister Ye Zixin?"

"Hehe... good! You called me sister. I accept you as my brother! Tonight, we drink till dawn!"

If I had a mirror, I’d see the dark lines covering my forehead. Drink till dawn? You’re already half-unconscious. One more sip, and trouble’s guaranteed.

"Quick, Yuchen! Tonight, your Cute Teacher will teach you how to be a real adult!"

That line felt oddly ominous.

Xia Bing stumbled over, yanking my arm and slamming an ice-cold beer in front of me. "Be a man! Chug it in one go!"

"Yes! This is step one of your coming-of-age ceremony!"

Step one is chugging ice beer? Who told you that? Give me their name—I promise not to kill them.

They say three women make a drama. As a Doom Dragon, I could usually handle it. But three drunk women? That’s different. Drunk Wu Song would fight tigers; these three might tear me apart.

To avoid that, fine—it’s just one beer. I’ll chug it!

I’d barely touched alcohol in this world, but it wasn’t much different from back home. Plus, my Doom Dragon body never got drunk. Drinking alone was pointless—soda was more fun anyway.

"Hah~ Satisfied now?"

The beer did nothing but bloat my stomach, like chugging ice water. Refreshing, but I was starving.

"Great! To celebrate Qiuyuchen passing the first trial of adulthood, I’ll dance for you!"

Before I could react, Xia Bing jumped onto the table and started dancing. Behind her, several fluffy white tails swayed. I stared, dumbfounded...

Oh no! What’s this idiot doing?! Showing her fox tails in front of Cute Teacher and Ye Zixin? Drunk and losing her mind!

"Wow! Amazing dance!"

"Yeah! Keep going!"

...

This was hopeless. None of them were sane. At this rate, they’d burn the house down.

"Uh, sisters, let’s call it a night. Neighbors might complain."

"Eh? Little brother Qiuyuchen, don’t worry! I’ll chase anyone off—or pay them to scram!"

Ye Zixin pulled a wad of cash from her bag and tossed it in the air. Easily ten or twenty grand. Rich people’s logic baffled me.

"Cheers! Tonight, we drink till sunrise!"

She collapsed like a broken puppet, snoring instantly.

"Ye Zi—Ye Zi, what’s wrong? Only a few drinks and you’re out? Let’s keep..."

*Thud!*

Cute Teacher passed out too! What was this? Mass disconnection? Did drunkenness work like that?

"Haha~~ Humans are so weak. You—keep drinking with me!"

Only Xia Bing clung to her bottle. Best way with drunks: obey their whims. I could drink endlessly without getting drunk, but this would wreck her body.

"Stop. Rest now. I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready."

"No! I can still..." She grabbed the erguotou bottle and gulped half of it. I snatched it away—this was dangerous.

"Gah! Give my drink back!"

Her cheeks flushed like ripe apples. She slumped against my chest, whining like a child to reclaim the liquor.

I uncapped the bottle and downed the rest. "Sorry, thirsty. Accidentally finished it."

Seeing the empty bottle, she plopped onto the sofa, dejected. Her fox ears drooped. She hugged her tails and closed her eyes—apparently asleep.

Three women lay scattered across the living room, clothes askew, surrounded by empty bottles. My heart nearly broke.

"Sigh... Why do these women love causing chaos? This’ll take ages to clean."

*Ding dong. Ding dong.*

Damn it—who’d knock now? If neighbors saw this scene, they’d call the cops in seconds.

Peeking through the peephole, I saw my troublemaking friend Shen Yufeng! Was he here for another free meal?

Fine. He could help clean up.

"Yo! Buddy, why’d you take so long to open?"

In 0.1 seconds, I realized my mistake and slammed the door shut. I might’ve hit the pervert’s nose... whatever. Priority: Xia Bing’s fox tails!

I rushed to shake her awake, but she was dead to the world. I tried stuffing her fluffy tails back in—way harder than it looked.

"Qiuyuchen! What’s your deal? Open up! Hiding secrets?"

If I said I had a fox spirit at home, would you believe me? ...Well, you’re a Taoist Priest. But what now? Idea: toss Xia Bing in my room and lock it.

I scooped her up, dashed to my bed, dumped her, locked the door—all under ten seconds. Then I opened the front door.

"Qiuyuchen, you crazy?! You smashed my nose! Look—it’s crooked!"

"Haha... sorry, I was in a hurry. Let me see... still handsome as ever."

"Don’t sweet-talk me. I’m... whoa, you’ve been drinking? This stinks. I’m leaving."

Shen Yufeng and I were middle school troublemakers, but he avoided smoke and alcohol—he hated the smell. I just never got drunk or addicted.

I grabbed his arm. "Since you’re here, help me with something."

I dragged him inside. He froze at the scene.

"Yuchen, that’s your aunt! How could you..."

*Smack!* What nonsense filled his head? FBI reruns?

"Are you an idiot? There are two girls here!"

"Oh~~ True bros share the good stuff. I’ll take Teacher Wan Mengmeng. Deal?"

Sorry—one slap wasn’t enough. I pulled out my phone to dial 110...

"Whoa! Kidding! I’m a pervert with dreams and respect for women! What happened?"

I hung up.

"What else? They partied too hard. You’re here—help me clean."

"What am I, your maid? I’m the Taoist Path’s top dog!"

"Dinner’s on me."

"Boss! Where do you want me to start? If it’s not spotless, I won’t leave!"

... Shen Yufeng, your dignity hit zero.