Another lovely weekend...

Hua Xin lounged comfortably in her chair, her cropped top riding up to reveal a smooth, pale stomach.

Yesterday’s classes had passed without incident, and now she faced another glorious five-day break (smug).

School? Child’s play! 😉

Just two days of school meant only one nap beside Xia Yan. 💤

As a socially anxious shut-in, Hua Xin could mindlessly go to class and back home. But Xia Yan, her ever-burdened guardian, had far more to handle.

*"If I lived in the Song Dynasty, I’d outshine Su Shi~"*

*"Even palace maids would serve me~"*

Humming cheerfully, she spotted a slightly unfamiliar ID light up on her game screen. Eyes sparkling, she slapped on her headset and poised her hands over keyboard and mouse.

WOW!! Today was her graduation day from Diamond rank! 😋

*Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.*

A voice call request popped up. She squinted: "Internet’s #1 Good Son."

Hua Xin rejected it instantly, a cold smirk curling her lips. That creep wanted voice chat? After witnessing his weirdness, she saw him only as a gold-farming...

*Ding! QQ Wallet received ¥20.*

She frantically opened the chatbox and sent a voice call request.

*My husband.*

Seriously, who argues with money? 🤑 Just chatting—after all, he was just an innocent boy craving her cute, soft voice. Understandable.

No need to be so extravagant (😆).

*"Hello? Wife, say something 😊."*

Suddenly, a deep, resonant voice surged through Hua Xin’s brain like an electric current. Her eyes rolled back slightly, whites showing, an unnatural flush spreading across her face. Sweet drool trickled slowly from her lips. Her silky hair stood on end.

Her legs trembled weakly under the desk.

Her expression looked exactly like this:

🥵✌︎(ᐛ)✌︎🥵

As if struck by a bizarre physiological reaction, she slumped motionless in her chair...

*"Wife, talk to me, please 😭."*

*"Don’t ignore me, wife—I’ll buy you skins 😭."*

Skins??

At those words, Hua Xin snapped out of her daze. She sat frozen for a moment, then yanked off her headset and hurled it to the floor. "What kind of shitty headset leaks electricity?!" she shrieked. "Whose brand is this?! Whose brand?! 😡"

On the other end, Xia Yan had just closed his eyes in bliss at her voice. Leaning back in his internet café gaming chair, he adjusted his mic, ready to deepen his tone.

*Such a lovely voice...*

Then came the crash of Hua Xin smashing her headset.

Xia Yan:

Hua Xin stomped furiously 💢😡 on the "i9 military-grade gaming headset" that had started leaking electricity after just four months.

*BANG BANG BANG BANG—*

Xia Yan:

A minute later, Hua Xin collapsed back into her chair, exhausted. She wiped drool from her chin and patted her chest, heart still pounding.

*The mighty ocean answers with crashing waves.*

How dare it?! What if she’d mutated from the shock?

Super Electric Man?

China’s Human Conductor?

Locomotive Girl?

Wait... 🤔

If electricity could make her a superhero... could it regrow *that certain appendage*?

A brilliant idea flashed in Hua Xin’s mind. She glanced at the headset’s shattered remains.

...Nah.

She’d probably turn into a crispy snack before any mutation happened.

Since *that part* had already chased freedom and happiness, she shouldn’t force it back. Even if she succeeded, it wouldn’t be the same *it* anymore (sad).

Her eyes snapped to the game screen. Right—the ranked match! And earlier...

Uh-oh.

Her gaze drifted to the headphone jack plugged into her PC.

That shrimp-headed idiot... was he okay? 😨

Sweat beaded on her forehead. What if he demanded medical fees and got the cops to arrest her? 😱

Hua Xin forced a stiff laugh, yanked out the headphone cable, and whispered weakly: "Uh... you still alive?"

*"I’m fading... (weak gasp) My ears are bleeding... (faint) What’d you say, wife? (labored) You said... you love me? (shrimp-brain)"*

*"I said you’re a fucking idiot."*

Hua Xin deadpanned.

*"So satisfying 🥵."*

*"Your voice is heavenly, wife 🥰."*

*"Wife, what happened to you just now?"*

Hua Xin’s eye twitched. Though his voice was lovely, she snapped: "Stop acting like a puppy! Be manly!"

*"So you like bad boys, wife? How’s this? (seductive purr)"*

*"I like you being a fucking idiot."*

...

*"Fine. Normal voice now."*

When his tone shifted back to that deep, unplayful timbre, Hua Xin exhaled slowly.

No headset? Whatever. Ranked first.

Smugly, she declared: "Better. Queue me up."

*"Wife, why’d you drop to Diamond IV? (shocked)"*

*"My alt’s already Diamond III. (critical hit)"*

Hua Xin’s face burned crimson 😡: "Was that *my* fault? Look at these teammates!"

*"Uh... Cat 0/7, Thresh 0/5, Lulu 1/7, Lux 2/11... wife, why’s your entire scoreboard red? 🤔"*

Xia Yan stifled a laugh, feigning surprise.

*"...*

*"A pretty girl’s business is none of yours,"* Hua Xin shot back, cheeks pink but defiant.

Her mouse clicked to accept "MeowMeow Husband’s" friend request anyway.

All that "wife" talk made her skin crawl.

Like she was actually dating someone.

And... he’d changed his ID to a *couple name*?!

Her eyes sharpened with sudden clarity 😨. A veteran netizen, she recognized the stage she was in.

Absolutely...

Absolutely no falling into femininity!!!

Body: girl. Heart: gold digger.

The true man’s soul sleeping within her—awoke.

Clearing her throat, Hua Xin declared coldly: "Don’t call me ‘wife.’ Call me ‘master.’"

*"Master."*

His instant reply stole her breath.

*"Don’t you have ANY shame?!"*

Xia Yan sounded puzzled: "If Master enjoys roleplay, I’ll indulge you. We *are* lovers, after all."

Hua Xin nearly cracked: "You’re such a perverted wa—" (Xia Yan’s online alias was "Brother Shui," shortened to "Shui.")

*"I’m only perverted for Master."*

As the match loaded, Xia Yan asked: "Champ select. What to play?"

Seeing he’d taken ADC and she was support, Hua Xin shrugged: "You Ashe. I Soraka?"

Xia Yan: *"Uh... I’m hot 🥵."*

Hua Xin: *"? 🤔"*

It took a second for his double meaning to hit. Her face flushed pink again. She squeezed her eyes shut, cursing the grinning Xia Yan.

*How can someone be this shameless and perverted?! (mortified)*