If we had to pick a place for this story to start.

The first week after sophomore year’s first semester began.

No class first period. Around seven or eight in the morning, Chen Yuzhe was still deep asleep.

Liu had left early for the field. He was an instructor for the new freshmen. The other two roommates, Fangzi and Old Xie, were out cold as well, snoring like they might shake the bedboards apart.

Half-dreaming, half-awake, the phone by Chen Yuzhe’s pillow started buzzing hard.

One buzz. Two. Ugh, enough.

Another buzz, then two more. Damn it. Who is this? Will it ever stop?

Grumbling, he grabbed the phone, rubbed his eyes hard, and finally made out the words on the screen.

“Club recruitment. Get here now. No flaking.”

Sender: Jiang Xiaoyao.

Mm… He went silent for a beat, waging a fierce inner debate.

Go. Don’t go.

After a good, long while, he made his decision. Total time: zero point three seconds.

Don’t go. Screw that.

Waking people at dawn is basically murder, and she even used that bossy tone—no flaking? Is this a joke? Does she really think she’s an irresistible, dazzling idol?

He set the phone to silent, tossed it by the headboard, rolled over, and went right back to sleep.

Not even a minute later, he rolled back, glanced at the phone on instinct.

On WeChat, “Jiang Xiaoyao” sent a photo.

Pale, slender hands poked through the campus fence, held high over the river outside.

In those hands was a Jibril figure.

“Shit!”

He flipped over, tumbled out of bed, washed up at top speed, ran a hand through his hair, then blew out of the dorm like a gust straight toward the club activity hall.

Ten minutes later, he was standing at the entrance, out of breath.

“Hah… hah… See? Recruitment hasn’t even started.” He wiped sweat, griping, “Why drag me here this early? And threatening my little Jibri?”

“Please, can you act like an upperclassman for once? Our anime club only has one guy this year, and it’s you!” Jiang Xiaoyao stood hands on hips, not pleased.

He looked up and saw she was in a Reimu Hakurei cosplay today. Red-and-white shrine maiden outfit, red ribbon headband on top.

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it—she wore it during the rehearsal for recruitment.

But how did he not notice back then… well… how to put it.

Isn’t that top a bit small?

Especially… overflowing.

To be fair, Jiang Xiaoyao wasn’t stunning in the “stop-the-world” way. But her eyes were big, her skin was extra fair, legs really slim, and with that cute round face—she landed squarely in the anime fan definition of “adorable.”

Baby face, big… you know.

During freshman recruitment, he’d looked around. The seniors in the anime club weren’t anything special, not particularly handsome or beautiful. Honestly, that was a big reason he’d hesitated to join.

But while he was scoping the booths, he met Jiang Xiaoyao.

—

—

Club recruitment usually starts about two weeks after military training ends.

Most freshmen were still tanned from training, so you couldn’t tell much. At the anime club’s table, hardly anyone from his year caught his eye.

He looked over the seniors’ cosplays. None were high-quality enough to make him go “wow,” so more than once, he thought about checking other clubs.

Just as he was about to turn away, a saccharine voice chimed in:

“Hi! Excuse me, senpai—do we fill out the form here to join the anime club?”

The instant he heard the voice, Chen Yuzhe turned, staring at the booth without moving.

The voice came from a girl who wasn’t very tall—just under five-three. Denim shorts, black sneakers, a light T-shirt, straight bangs with long hair. At a glance, pretty normal.

Of course, not that normal in a certain sense.

“Hi, uh…” The senior on reception looked flustered. His eyes kept darting around, like he had no clue where to rest his gaze.

Chen got it. If it were him, he wouldn’t know where to look, either.

That T-shirt was so thin. It was like she’d brought two soccer balls to the table.

“Is it just fill the form and I can join?”

Maybe worried he hadn’t heard, she leaned forward, lowered her head closer, blinking those big eyes.

Both spheres practically landed on the table.

The senior was the shy type. The moment she leaned in, he jerked back. Red spread from his neck to his ears.

“Y-yes… I mean, no, we have an interview…”

“Eh? Really?” She pouted, puzzled. “What do you ask in the interview?”

“Sorry, it’s my first time joining a club. I don’t really know the process…” She crossed two fingers at her chest, like she was idly playing with them.

Chen’s eyes flickered for a moment.

The senior rushed to explain, “Ah… it’s not hard. Just a simple chat, formalities, really. If you fill the form, you’re in.”

Her eyes swirled, then she switched into a sweet smile.

“Really?” Her voice carried a hint of joy. In that syrupy tone that made Chen feel sickly sweet, she cooed:

“I’m Jiang Xiaoyao. Please take care of me, senpai!”

She’d been gone for quite a while, and the senior still looked dazed. Probably still seeing those two unmissable round shapes behind that light T-shirt.

Chen called him several times before he snapped out of it.

“Uh… senpai? Senpai?”

“Ah!” The senior jolted, forcing a sheepish smile. “What’s up, kouhai? You’re joining the anime club too?”

“Yeah. Fill the form here, right?”

“Ah, mm, mm, that’s right…”

Still half out of it. Chen sighed a little.

Couldn’t blame him.

With a pair of head-turning weapons like that, anyone’s thoughts would wobble. And to Chen, it wasn’t just that.

Those crossed fingers at her chest looked like idle fidgeting. In reality, they nudged the gaze right where she wanted it.

Even if he tried to be polite and avoid looking, he’d be guided back without noticing.

Facing a guy she’d just met, she knowingly flaunted her figure. If she had no special target, that left one explanation.

That familiar scent. Pure green-tea vibes.

Jiang Xiaoyao… huh. Chen filled his form, then walked away like nothing happened.

Maybe a little curious.

—

—

And yeah. Things played out about how he guessed.

Jiang Xiaoyao was that super-cutesy type. She always spoke in a soft, pouty voice like she was on the verge of a whine.

She loved cozying up to whoever mattered. Not long after joining, she got very close with the club president, a junior named Huang Yanchen. Ambiguous, with that excuse: “He’s my guy bestie.”

Of course, Huang Yanchen had a girlfriend.

The girlfriend came to the club and made a scene. In front of everyone, she slapped Jiang Xiaoyao and shouted “damn green-tea b*tch, homewrecker,” before Huang, furious, drove her out.

Jiang just sat on the floor, covering her face, eyes red and watery, saying nothing. When Huang came back, she started sobbing.

“I’m sorry… senpai, did I make your girlfriend mad?” she asked through tears.

Watching from the side, Chen smirked.

Oldest green-tea routine. Funny how it still works after all these years.

After that, the couple broke up, but Jiang didn’t get with Huang.

Rumor was, Huang brought it up, and she pushed it off with “my studies matter.”

All told, Huang lost the girl and the fight. Serves him right, though.

The funniest part? He’s still waiting for her even now. During the club’s election, he steamrolled objections and forced Jiang to be the new president.

Which is how Chen ended up being ordered around like this.

Back to now. As Chen came back to himself, Jiang was still lecturing:

“…If you weren’t the only guy this year, I wouldn’t drag you out! You look skinny. Your strength might be less than mine.”

“But all these props, banners, and tents—our group of girls can’t haul them. We can’t make a bunch of girls do heavy lifting under the blazing sun, right?”

Who cares. I don’t, anyway. Chen looked away.

And don’t look at me with that poor-little-me face.

It really doesn’t work.

Why? Well—

First, green tea runs on using the most man-pleasing posture to trick you into a fake romance, right?

Sorry. I’m certain I won’t catch feelings for any girl.

I’m not gay. I just know myself.

Not handsome. Short for a guy. Family’s average.

No matter how you score it, it’s a fail.

So, do you think I’ll believe a girl like you, Jiang Xiaoyao, would fall for me?

Stop dreaming.

Besides—

You and I… we’re the same kind.