"The greatest loneliness in this world isn't walking alone or standing in a crowd with no one to know. It's me being here while you all can only silently watch me show off."
"Good evening, everyone! Welcome to the New Year's Gala hosted by the Demon Realm and personally presided over by your Great Demon King!"
Holding a Demon Realm-special 360-degree omnidirectional amplifier, the Great Demon King recited tonight's tongue twister with dramatic flair.
As his voice faded, the Four Heavenly Kings of the Demon Realm raised their glow sticks high. Their faces twisted in ecstatic frenzy as they roared:
"B-O-S-S! Handsome and dashing!"
"B-O-S-S! Suave and debonair!"
"B-O-S-S! We wanna bear your babies!!"
Raising a hand to quell the deafening cheers, the Great Demon King smiled modestly.
"Though your praise is shallow and repetitive. Though you capture not even a ten-thousandth of my charm. Though—"
Whoosh!
A rotten egg suddenly flew up from the audience. The Great Demon King sidestepped it effortlessly, sneering.
"Pfft. You think a measly rotten egg can ambush me?"
Splat!
A stray rotten tomato smacked squarely onto his head. Dripping with bright red pulp, he scanned the crowd furiously.
"Damn it! On New Year’s Day—who dares ambush me with hidden weapons? Show yourself!"
Silence crashed over the venue.
No one dared breathe under his terrifying glare.
Watching the deathly quiet hall, the Great Demon King smugly brushed his bangs aside.
"Hmph. I knew you wouldn’t—"
Papapapapa—!
Before he finished, thousands of rotten tomatoes and eggs flooded the air like a storm. They poured down in a furious deluge. Even the invincible Great Demon King paled. In a blink, he was driven behind the stage, hiding and trembling.
"Get off! We want beauties!"
"Who cares about your cringe act? We want loli cuteness!"
"Bullshit! Onee-sama supremacy! Start with a sexy dance!"
"What?! You dare disrespect us loli fans?!"
"Brothers! Grab your stools! These death-row scum insult our onee-sama lovers!"
"KILL THEM!"
Armed with folding stools—the ultimate home-and-travel essential—the two factions clashed. Their eyes burned crimson with rage.
Stunned by the chaotic brawl below, Ink Ash wiped cold sweat from his brow.
"Damn... how’d this turn into a riot?"
Silently appearing behind him, Gu Qingcheng stood in an exquisite robe. Her voice dripped with icy menace.
"Teacher. Didn’t I tell you to wait? Who let you go out first?"
Ink Ash broke into a cold sweat. "This... that..."
She casually pulled out a chopping knife, tilting her head with dark fury.
"And who authorized you to rewrite the script?!"
"Stay calm! Yiren, believe me—we must announce the show first!" Panicked, the guilt-ridden Great Demon King grabbed her icy hand and dragged her onstage.
"Remember this. Just. Once." Gu Qingcheng’s pretty face flushed slightly. Too flustered to stay angry, she huffed in tsundere fashion.
As the peerless Empress stepped forward, the chaotic venue snapped into perfect order. Let’s be clear: it wasn’t respect for beauty or imperial dignity. Every ounce of hatred now focused solely on the Great Demon King.
"How dare you hold the Empress’s hand?!"
"BURN HIM! BURN HIM ALIVE!"
Ignoring the jealous glares of single dogs, Ink Ash and Gu Qingcheng announced in unison:
"First act—'Two Lolitas Singing in the Green Willows'! A warm welcome for... Elisa and Gu Caiyi!"
Dressed in black-and-white gothic lolita wear and knee-high boots, Elisa planted her hands on her hips. She scowled.
"Let me repeat: I, Elisa, am an onee-sama!"
Gu Caiyi blinked her big, confused eyes. In a cyan princess dress, she tilted her head cutely.
"Eh? Where am I? Why am I here?"
"Heaven and earth! Why must I witness an angel?!" The audience erupted in wails. Some fainted from heart palpitations, hauled off by ambulances.
Elisa—coerced here by the Great Demon King—sneered at Gu Caiyi’s act.
"Hmph. Ignorant brat. Tricked by that shameless bastard too, huh?"
Gu Caiyi’s eyes narrowed playfully. A mischievous smile curled her lips.
"Little sister? Why talk like a grandma?"
"Hah?! Who’re you calling little sister?!" Elisa froze, then shouted. She hated being called small more than anything.
Gu Caiyi beamed. "You~!"
Scanning the fearless girl with disdain, Elisa stiffened as Gu Caiyi leaned close.
"My age could be your grandmo—wait, what are you doing?!"
Gu Caiyi extended her index finger triumphantly.
"Hmm. After a quick comparison... I’m taller than you!"
Pfft!
Elisa trembled, clutching her chest as she staggered back.
"Those words... cut deep." She shook her head hard. "Height doesn’t define everything."
Gu Caiyi puffed out her chest innocently.
"Oh, and my bust is bigger too."
"That’s not— Pfft!" Elisa tried to deny it. But her eyes dropped to Gu Caiyi’s budding chest. She spat blood again.
"Why... why isn’t she completely flat?!"
Gu Caiyi’s lips curved into a shy smile. She stuck out her tongue.
"Oh right! I forgot... I’m still growing~!"
"You... are... so... cruel... Pfft!" Elisa stared blankly at the harmless-looking girl. She opened her mouth weakly, then collapsed backward, spitting blood skyward. Even as darkness closed in, her mind echoed:
"Growing... growing... I’m still growing~!"
Once, Zhuge Liang shattered Zhou Yu’s spirit three times. Today, Elisa bleeds onstage. Tragic. Lamentable. Heroic.
