I only remember that weightless plunge from heaven. I have no idea how I ended up here.

This is an endless, pitch‑black space. With no light at all, I can’t see a thing. My body won’t move, not even a twitch, so I can’t tell how big this place is. It just feels infinite.

Is this the world a newly born Dark Lord has to face? I felt the pressure astronauts must endure—that pressure called loneliness.

I’ve never trained for cave diving. In a place like this, your mood shifts from fear and lonely resolve, to timidity and despair, and in the end there’s only helpless acceptance.

Bit by bit, memories started pouring into my mind. This was the Dark Lord’s legacy—dark magic and alchemy. Endless knowledge, and also the only way I had to kill time.

But there was no intel on any world, no memories of daily life. Just textbook‑like knowledge, endless and inescapable.

Then one day, I saw a white light. It suddenly flared, the scene around me flipped, and my frozen body was freed. I dropped from midair and landed on my butt on a stone altar.

“Ow!” Huh? My voice sounded completely different—soft, with this faintly bullied loli tone. The clothes on me were an absurdly complicated dress, probably some kind of lolita outfit.

My chest was slightly raised, my Adam’s apple seemed gone… That traitor of a mom really did turn her son into… a loli?

No, wait, what’s with this weird environment! This should be a primeval forest. The stone altar is covered in ivy and moss. And in this forest… there seem to be a lot of people around…

What are so many people doing here? They’re in robes or armor, standing in perfect formation.

With this many of you, aren’t you worried about wrecking the forest’s ecosystem? The poor animals must be terrified!

Also, why is everyone so quiet, like they’re facing some great enemy? And why are they all staring at me? In this kind of situation, am I supposed to say something?

“Um… good morning, everyone!” I waved a little. Their faces changed in an instant. Did I say something wrong? Is it actually dusk?

“She’s exactly like in the prophecy. She’s the Dark Lord! Everyone, form the array and suppress her!” A middle‑aged guy in a red robe shouted, raising a heavy staff and starting to chant. Everyone lifted their weapons toward the sky almost at the same time. With the eight red‑robed uncles as the center, several massive magic circles spread out over my head. I instantly felt heavy shackles clamping down on me.

“N‑no, wait, don’t just start fighting out of nowhere! I‑I’m not the Dark Lord!” My brain, which had been offline for days, completely failed to process what was happening. My new height and weight threw me off so badly I tripped and fell right where I stood.

“Horns of a demon on your head, appearing in the deep mountains, and you say the exact same line as in the prophecy—you’re not the Dark Lord, then who are you!”

I have horns? Why don’t I feel anything? I touched my head. Hidden in my soft long hair were two short, conical little horns—fuzzy, warm, and super sensitive… No, wait, why do I have horns!!

“Everyone, I’m a pacifist! If there’s a problem we can talk it out! Don’t start swinging!” I awkwardly gathered the power in my body they called mana to resist the pressure, stalling for time while I frantically flipped through the Dark Lord’s legacy in my mind.

Found it. For a short period after birth, the Dark Lord has power close to their peak, so they don’t get scammed while they’re still clueless.

So I can only rely on this power and gamble!

“Scythe of Death!” One of the basic spells—summon a magic scythe that can copy my casting and fight in close quarters.

A three‑meter‑long scythe appeared in my hand, black as ink, like it could swallow all light. Lacking experience, I couldn’t fully condense my mana, and faint black mist drifted from the blade.

That was mana leaking out, and also proof the scythe was packed with power.

“Heaven’s Soar!” Unlike a normal mage’s flight spell, Heaven’s Soar condenses fake wings out of mana, giving insane speed and agility. I shot forward to the edge of the magic array and used my first offensive spell.

“Fallen Cross Slash!” I swept the scythe through the air, drawing a cross, then hooked the center of the cross and flung it.

Boom! One layer of the array exploded outright, dissolving into aurora‑like streams of seven‑colored light.

The Dark Lord really is strong—even as a newborn, even clumsy and unfamiliar, even with most of my power sealed.

You’re still a bit green if you want to kill me! Challenging the Dark Lord without a Hero?

“Meteor Strike!” A yellow light flashed at the horizon, and a figure shot straight toward me. It was literally a meteor strike, it really looked like a comet! That innate, destiny‑level conflicting aura—anyone with horns could tell this guy was the Hero… I really shouldn’t have jinxed myself!

He was too fast. I barely had time to cast a body‑reinforcement spell and swing the scythe across my body as a shield.

With a thunderous crash, I experienced the despair of a small m colliding with a huge M and flying off at double speed thanks to conservation of momentum. I slammed into the stone altar, the ground webbing with cracks. My chest tightened and I coughed up a mouthful of blood.

My whole body felt like it had fallen apart. The massive sealing force crashed down on me without mercy, pinning me so hard I couldn’t move at all.

“Don’t relax, everyone. The Dark Lord’s body can’t be destroyed that easily!”

What are you trying to pull, red‑robed uncle? Maybe novel protagonists are all badass and not afraid of pain, but it hurts so much I could die right now!

“You really are the Dark Lord?” The Hero walked over and looked down at me with this high‑and‑mighty posture.

“Who else, you?” My eyes were bloodshot, my vision a blur, and all I could see was a not‑very‑tall silhouette, but I still snapped back on reflex.

He hesitated a moment, then said, “I thought the Dark Lord would be some massive, ripped guy with magic tattoos, swinging a giant axe with bull horns on his head.”

“You’re the muscle‑bro! Your bros are all muscle‑bros!” My hair practically stood on end. How does that description have anything to do with me!

By now I could just barely see. The Hero was a teenage boy. I couldn’t make out his face, but he definitely wasn’t the knight type I’d imagined.

“Tch, not elegant at all for a girl. Still, kinda cute.”

“You…” I wanted to argue, then realized he was… kind of right. I mean the gender part. And I had my pitfall of a mom to thank for that.

“Dare let me go and fight me fair and square?” I switched to provocation mode.

“The Dark Lord’s the most cunning of all. You think I’m stupid?” he said.

I think you’re actually sick in the head.

“Don’t waste time talking to her, Hero! Hurry and take out your big treasure and end this!” someone shouted.

“You noisy old man, can you shut up! Ever heard of bullying?!” I tried to stall while patching myself up.

The Hero scratched his head. “Oh right, almost forgot. Dark Lord, let me show you something special.”

“What the hell.” I rolled my eyes, then caught his movement from the corner of my eye. Was he… undoing his belt?

I swallowed. So right now the Dark Lord is a loli with no combat ability, and the Hero wants to take off his pants to… completely defeat the Dark Lord?

No—what the hell, don’t come over here!

“H‑Hero, we can talk this out, don’t undo your belt! Stop!” I panicked. This was my dignity heading for a full‑on game over!

“Don’t come any closer… put away your big treasure…” I stammered, hauling my barely movable body backward, but at this speed it was just a useless struggle.

And there were hundreds of eyes on us! Hero, if you’ve got… needs, can’t you pick another place? Or another person?! I was so anxious I wanted to cry, but the array’s pressure had me almost completely immobilized.

“Stop! Help! Where’s the military police when you need them? QAQ Military police, someone’s about to bully a loli!” I went for my last resort—crouch and cover, arms wrapped over my head and my horns.

“Hahaha, are you really the Dark Lord?” I heard him closing in. His shadow fell over the ground in a dark blot, like a demon’s.

I felt a tap on my head, then something cold, metal, but faintly warm snapped shut around my neck.

“What did you think I was doing all day? It’s just a mana‑sealing device. I thought it looked like a belt so I improvised,” the Hero’s voice came from above.

Huh? Did I overthink this? I felt my neck. This was… a collar? By the way, Hero, just how thin is your waist if you can use this as a belt…

The mana in my body suddenly locked up, frozen solid. I raised my head slightly and saw a red‑robed uncle pressing down on my crown with a victorious grin.

And I blacked out.

I became the first Dark Lord in history to get captured the moment I stepped outside. This was all the prophecy’s fault.