[So I'm Definitely Meant to Be a Swordsman, Right?]

I walked down the street, staring at the inventory panel projected before my eyes. If I were an in-game character, I’d probably be a berserker type. But the moment I gripped a sword, every swordsman skill flooded my mind.

To confirm my suspicion, I pulled a low-tier katana from my inventory. Just as expected—sword skills materialized in my head the instant my fingers closed around the hilt.

*[Whoa… this is OP!!]*

I stowed the katana away and scanned the other legendary gear stockpiled in my warehouse.

*[No red "cannot equip" warning… does that mean…?]*

I focused on a divine magic staff, silently willing it into my hand. A black wooden staff—slightly shorter than me, capped with a crimson gem—appeared. The second I held it, all mage skills surged into my consciousness.

Holy crap… this cheat gives max points in *every* class!

*[Excuse me, sir.]*

A woman’s voice suddenly cut through the air behind me.

*[Huh?]*

I turned toward the sound. A young girl stood before me, her expression earnest.

*[I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but… where did you get that magic staff?]*

*[Uh…]*

My brain scrambled for a lie.

*[Please tell me! Did you buy it? Or was it gifted? Is it treasure from the dungeon?]* She pressed on, relentless.

Right—I’ll say it dropped from a monster!

*[I got this after defeating an ultra-powerful dungeon monster.]* I blurted out a half-baked story.

*[From the dungeon…? No wonder it radiates such intense magic! Will you sell it to me? Name your price—I’ll pay anything! Please!]* Her tone shifted instantly to pleading.

*[Sell it?]* I froze. It was just a level-100 legendary weapon—nothing special in-game.

*[Yes! I’ll pay 100 gold! 1,000? 10,000?!]* She fumbled for her coin purse.

*[Whoa—hold on! I never said I’d sell! And how could you carry 10,000 gold on you anyway?]* I stopped her.

*[10,000 isn’t enough? Then… then I’ll even offer myself in marriage!!!]* She slapped a hand over her ample chest.

*[What?!]*

She wasn’t breathtakingly gorgeous, but undeniably pretty. My eyes flickered downward before I snapped them back up.

*[……………………………]*

She flushed crimson.

*[D-don’t misunderstand! I’m just… shocked!]* I yanked my gaze away.

*[So… will you sell the staff or not?]* she pressed.

*[I’ve got a guild mission right now. I’ll decide when I return!]* A temporary stall tactic.

*[A mission? You’re an adventurer too! Perfect—I’ll wait for your answer at the Adventurers’ Guild!]* She bowed deeply and hurried off.

*[……………………………]*

She really needed that staff. To avoid trouble, I tucked it away and continued toward my destination: the Noble Estate. Intel said the noble ruling this territory lived here—and his daughter kept losing her underwear.

*[Helloooo~ Anyone home?]* I called at the courtyard gate.

*[May I ask your business, sir?]*

A head suddenly popped out of the hedge.

*[GHOST!!!!]*

*[That’s rather rude, sir.]* The elderly face spoke politely.

*[You’re the rude one, springing out like that!]* I shot back.

*[As the estate’s butler, I monitor the grounds discreetly.]* He brushed dirt off his coat and stepped out.

*[Must be exhausting…]* I deadpanned.

*[Your purpose here, sir?]* He eyed me up and down.

*[I’m here for the guild’s underwear thief bounty. Let me set up a stakeout.]* I offered the quest scroll.

*[Are you certain? Previous adventurers failed.]* He ignored the scroll and unlocked the gate.

*[Absolutely! It’s getting late—I’ll find a spot and wait.]*

*[A simplistic plan. That thief vanishes like mist. You’ll likely fail too.]*

*[Gotta try!* Why’s he talking down to me? Do all noble butlers act like this?

*[Admirable spirit, young man!]*

*[Calling an underwear thief "admirable"? Suspicious! I bet* you’re *the thief!]*

*[Don’t slander me! I’ve served this family for decades—I see the young mistress as my own granddaughter!]* His face turned beet red.

*[Guilty conscience! You’re probably peeping on her baths too! How else would you know the underwear vanishes "in a blink"?]* What *had* this old creep done to his lady?

*[I-I’d never!]* He whirled away, flustered.

*[Dude, you’re old enough to be her grandpa—stop blushing!]*

*[Wait in the courtyard. Nobles’ estates don’t allow outsiders inside.]* He snapped back to formality and strode off.

*[Stop pretending! Just come with me to the guards!]* I yelled after him.

*[Good luck, young man!!!]* He waved without turning.

*[Young man my ass!!!]*

Ignoring him, I scanned for a hiding spot. Since the thief was skilled, I’d need stealth. My inventory panel flickered open. I scrolled past non-tradable epic weapons I’d hoarded—useless for crafting, but cool to collect.

*[Got it!]*

My eyes locked on a dagger. I willed it into my hand:

**Starfall** (Twin Daggers)

**Level: 100**

Attack Speed +65%

Movement Speed +65%

All Resistances +200

10% chance to instantly kill enemies on hit.

As predicted, rogue skills flooded my mind the moment I equipped them. First step: vanish. I activated *[Stealth]*. My arms turned transparent—any onlooker would see nothing.

*[Okay… now *[Target Lock]*.]* A mini-map appeared in my vision’s corner, outlining the mansion. Green dots marked allies; red would signal enemies.

Crouched in bushes with a clear view of the noble girl’s window, I grumbled: *[Ugh, if I knew this was so easy, I’d have come later.]*

Night fell. I waited silently. Then—a dot approached on the map. A girl in noble robes entered through the front gate.

*[Huh? That’s the staff-buying girl from earlier!]* I stood up. Was she the noble’s daughter? The green dot moved… and stopped at the daughter’s room.

*[No way! After that "offer myself in marriage" bit this afternoon… am I about to become nobility?]* I grinned stupidly. *Snap out of it! Finish the mission—or Aerin’ll call me a pervert forever.*

The green dot shifted to the bath. In a flash, a *red* dot darted in from outside. I whipped my head toward the window. A hooded figure—also invisible—clung to the wall outside the daughter’s room. He tapped the locked window; it slid open. In under a second, he snatched a pair of pink lace underwear.

*[Your little game ends now.]*

This bald pervert thief.

I mirrored his pose on the windowsill beside him.

*[!!!!!!???????????]*

He shot me a startled glance, then bolted toward the garden wall.

*[Not so fast!]* I gave chase.

He leaped across rooftops; I matched his pace effortlessly.

*[Tch!]* He spat, hurling a dagger at me. I deflected it with my own blade—and he lunged.

*[Switching from escape to attack?]* I blocked his strike with my second dagger. His assault didn’t slow: twin blades rained down in a furious flurry.

**CLANG! CLANG!**

**CLANG! CLANG!**

**CLANG! CLANG!**

Steel clashed through the silent night. His attacks grew ragged. I seized the opening to counter—but he backflipped out of range, panting hard. His hood flew off in the motion.

Before me stood not a bald creep, but a stunning red-haired woman.

*[What the actual—?!]*

*[Th-that’s my line!* Who *are you? You tracked me, forced me to fight… After all these years in the business, no one’s pushed me this far.]* She gasped for breath.

*[I’m Tong! Here to catch a pervert on guild orders.]* I raised my daggers, ready.

*[The Adventurers’ Guild has someone like you?]* She stared, bewildered.

"Didn't know before, but now that I'm here—bring it on!"

I declared war on the fiery-haired beauty with full force.

"I SURRENDER!!!"

The red-haired girl instantly dropped her weapon and raised both hands high.

"Huh??? You're not even fighting back??"

Surrendering before twenty hits? Seriously??

"No way! My thief instincts scream that one touch from that thing in your hand might send me straight to the afterlife!"

She pointed at my dagger with a face full of dread.

"Well... technically true... 10% instant death chance."

I glanced at the Silverfall Star in my grip.

"STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!! Just thinking I fought you earlier makes my brain hurt!"

The red-haired girl blurted out urgently.

"Simple then~~ Hand yourself over to the guards. But seriously—why steal underwear???"

I sheathed my dagger and stepped toward her.

"Wanna know?????"

Her tone suddenly turned mischievous.

"Mmm... super curious."

I couldn't hide it—why would a beauty like her steal noblewomen's lingerie?

"Follow me then~~ I'm not escaping your grasp anyway."

She pulled up her hood, leaped onto another rooftop, and gestured for me to follow.

I chased her across rooftops until we landed in a mansion's courtyard.

"Holy crap!! You're stealing again??"

"NO!!! Shut up! Cuckoo~~ Cuckoo~~~~"

After hissing at me, she mimicked a cuckoo's call.

"Cuckoo~~ Cuckoo~~~"

Another call echoed from the courtyard. A bald middle-aged man emerged from the bushes.

"Here's the goods!! Fresh batch! Pay up already."

She handed the underwear to the man.

"Heh heh~~ Truly fresh."

He immediately pressed the lingerie to his face, inhaling deeply.

"Settle last time's payment too."

She held out her hand for money.

"Here!! Same as always next time."

The bald man tossed a coin purse and slipped back into the mansion.

"You dragged me here just to watch you fence stolen goods?? Why not sell your own stuff?!"

"Duh!! I could sell my own! But that'd feel like losing something precious."

She counted the coins and tucked the purse into her belt.

"Stealing others' stuff doesn't make you lose anything precious?!!"

What kind of logic was this?!

"Next stop~~ Follow me."

She leaped back onto the rooftops.

We traveled far across roofs—mansions gave way to ordinary houses, then crumbling shacks. Finally, we stopped in a slum of broken wooden huts.

"This is Landton City's slum. Every day, people starve to death here. Kids go hungry, forced into thievery or worse to survive."

She slipped a gold coin through a door crack.

"........................."

Silence choked me. Was she stealing underwear just to feed these people?

I watched wordlessly as she distributed coins to every hut.

"All done~ Now let's go to the guards."

After the last coin, she turned with a refreshing smile.

"You sly devil!!! Staged this whole thing? Kept the money before, didn't you?!"

"Nope~~~~"

Her voice held no trace of deceit.

"Then why only steal underwear? Why not grab pricier stuff?"

I'd been burning to ask this.

"Too valuable—stealing those causes big trouble. Besides, I retired from thievery long ago. Selling stolen lingerie? Just can't stand watching this place suffer."

She gestured at the desolate slum.

"Stealing underwear isn't thievery in your dictionary?"

That was the vaguest retirement ever.

"In my personal dictionary, lingerie theft doesn't count as stealing! Plus—I have insider permission."

She stood straight, utterly earnest.

"That butler's definitely shady!!!!"

I finally understood why he kept praising the thief's skills.

"Calm down. He caught me, saw this place, and agreed."

"He caught you?? Doesn't look like it."

That tsundere old man was that skilled?

"He trapped me in a Magic Array using stealth spells."

Her nostalgic expression confirmed it.

"Guess the old geezer's got moves."

No wonder I missed him hiding in the bushes earlier.

"So... still taking me to the guards?"

"ARGH!!! This is a conspiracy!! A blatant conspiracy!!! Fine, I lose!! Mission failed!!!"

Fuming, I turned to leave.

"Pupil!!"

The red-haired girl called after me.

"What now!?"

"We haven't been introduced. I'm Peilingna. Take care of me from now on."

She waved with a bright smile.