"Nagisa-kun, does Chiyo have younger siblings?" Nagisa asked, tilting his head at my grumble.

"Yeah. Twin brother and sister. They’re in middle school now," I nodded. "And my brother... he’s a lot like you."

"Like me?"

"...Meaning he looks nearly identical to his twin sister..." I said carefully, glancing at his light blue hair and modest height.

"Oh! I see!" Nagisa’s face lit up with sudden understanding.

"You should just switch to the girls’ uniform! Nobody would ever question your gender! Right, Nagisa-kun?"

Nishi slung an arm over Nagisa’s shoulder, teasing him with extra emphasis on "Nagisa-kun."

For once, I found myself agreeing with my troublemaking friend.

"If you ever want to try wearing girls’ clothes, Nagisa-kun... I could probably sneak a uniform from the Student Council for you."

"...Uh..."

Nagisa’s eye twitched slightly as he stared at his two new friends. He suddenly felt he’d made some very questionable choices in companionship.

"Student Council?" Seizing the chance to steer the conversation away, Nagisa quickly changed the subject. "By the way, what did the Student Council want with you that day, Kandou-kun?"

"Oh yeah!" Nishi slapped his forehead, instantly distracted. "What *did* they want with you, bro?"

Now the spotlight was on me. Great. Was I supposed to confess how the Student Council framed me? How I sold my dignity to survive by joining them? How I’d been losing sleep over the women’s underwear now cluttering my closet?

—No way in hell I was admitting *that*!

"Just... invited me to join," I cleared my throat, forcing my voice steady.

"Join the Student Council?!" Nagisa’s eyes widened. "A first-year like you got invited?! How is that even possible?!"

"Pure charisma, obviously," I puffed out my chest.

"*Charisma*?" Nishi squinted. "The guy girls treat like a plague has *charisma* now?!"

"Damn right!" I rolled my eyes. "Even if most girls avoid me, my skills speak for themselves! Why else would someone bring me lunch today?"

"Oh? Yet you flat-out rejected that poor girl’s homemade bento!" Nishi pressed relentlessly. "That Shiraishi Rei seemed pretty sweet on you. You sure your preferences aren’t... *complicated*, bro?"

"...There are reasons I keep my distance from her," I replied flatly. "Male. Into girls. Zero weird flags."

"Reasons?" Nishi leaned in. "What kind of reasons make you avoid girls like that?"

"......"

Body-swapping? Even if I told them, they’d never believe it. This jerk would just think I was making excuses.

"Personal reasons involving Shiraishi’s privacy. Let’s just say it’s *nothing* like what you’re imagining."

I glanced at their faces after speaking.

—Yep. Their expressions had already twisted into something... *suggestive*.

No point explaining further. The more I denied it, the more they’d think I was hiding something. Let them keep their weird assumptions.

"I see..." Nishi nodded sagely, clapping my shoulder. "Don’t worry! As deputy leader of the FFF Brotherhood, I’ll keep your secret—as long as you don’t break our sacred rules, *Leader*."

—WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING?! AND WHEN DID YOU BECOME DEPUTY LEADER?!

His face screamed "*I know your dirty secrets*." A herd of rampaging alpacas trampled through my soul.

"...Heh... yeah..." My lips twitched as I forced a smile.

"Found you."

A cold female voice cut through the air. I looked up to see the eyepatch-wearing chuunibyou girl from the other night blocking our path.

I groaned, pressing a hand to my forehead.

"Eh? She’s looking for *you* again, Kandou-kun?!" Nagisa blinked. "She’s from another class, right?"

"Dunno her. Never met her," I muttered, ducking my head and trying to sidestep her. "Seriously, stay away. It’s contagious."

"Sorry, you’ve mistaken me for someone else."

I squeaked the words while slipping past her—only for her next line to shatter my sanity.

"This cheap illusion magic cannot fool my all-seeing Evil King True Eye." She pressed a hand to her eyepatch, voice icy. "Your filthy aura betrays you, Evil Sorcerer."

—AAAAH! SHE ACTUALLY SAID THAT *IN SCHOOL*?! THE CRINGE!

I plastered on my best "*who is this lunatic?*" expression and bolted.

Nishi and Nagisa exchanged confused glances at the chuunibyou girl before chasing after me.

---

In the cafeteria, I gasped for air, slumped over a table.

Why was *she* at this school?! If her chuunibyou infected me again and I started spouting nonsense like that night... the horror.

"Catch you at last." Nishi and Nagisa slid into seats across from me.

"Was she *that* scary?" Nagisa panted. "You ran like a ghost was chasing you!"

"Bro, you’ve never been this jumpy around girls before," Nishi shook his head. "Not even with your legendary girl-repelling aura!"

"It’s not fear," I swallowed hard. "She’s got *chuunibyou*. Do you even know what that *is*?!"

"Nope." Nishi stood up. "Food run. Back soon."

"Chuunibyou?" Nagisa tilted his head. "Could you explain, Kandou-kun?"

"Chuunibyou..." I rested my chin on my palm. "Usually hits in middle school. Almost every kid gets a mild case. It’s when your budding self-awareness clashes with irrational fantasies... making you act weird."

"Doesn’t sound so bad," Nagisa mused.

"Mild cases aren’t. But that high schooler? Terminal stage. Beyond saving!" I rapped the table sharply. "Being targeted by a chuunibyou girl who *hates* you, Nagisa-kun... do you grasp the *danger*?!"

"...I see." Nagisa shuddered slightly. "That *does* sound terrifying."

"Now you understand why I ran."

Relief washed over me. Finally, someone got it.

Why did weird stuff keep happening to me? Body-swapping? Chuunibyou infections? Was I just cursed?

How was my high school life already this bizarre after only a few days?

—God only knew what fresh chaos awaited me next.

Ever since becoming a high schooler, strange people just... multiplied around me.

Wait. Wasn’t I supposed to be a normal guy grinding through romance routes? How did things get like *this*?

I shook my head, clearing the thoughts.

Nishi returned with his tray. Nagisa unpacked his bento. We ate in silence.

---

After lunch, back in class, I spotted Shiraishi Rei sitting alone at her desk. Her silhouette looked lonely.

I checked her affection meter—no change. My phone showed zero replies from her.

Was she mad? ...I decided not to push it. That body-swap ability still freaked me out.

What if something went wrong mid-swap? Imagine this:

*Hypothetically*—just *hypothetically*—Shiraishi, in my body, had an accident. Permanently logged out of Life: The Glitchy Game.

Wouldn’t *I* be screwed then?!

Nope. Not risking a body swap unless I’d exhausted every other girl in existence—which, realistically, would never happen.