"...This revulsion... Have you come to steal my Evil King True Eye?"

The short-haired girl spoke flatly, her face expressionless. Her left hand pressed against her eyepatch while she raised the parasol in her right, pointing it straight at my nose.

"Huh?"

Her words left me utterly bewildered. *Evil King True Eye? What the hell is that?! And this cringy chuunibyou getup—what’s with that?!*

But I had no time to dwell on these absurd questions. The blood-red numbers hovering above the girl’s head screamed her hostility toward me.

"...Uh... I mean no harm... I’m just a passing ‘mage’..."

I edged sideways along the wall, keeping my back pressed against it as I tried to put distance between us. This girl was clearly unhinged.

"Just as I thought. Only those vile magic users could stir such disgust in me."

Seeing me retreat, the cold-eyed girl raised her parasol high.

"The Evil King True Eye, which pierces past and future, is not for filthy Bureau mages like you to touch."

"Go forth! Primal Zex—!"

"—Shatter, reality! Crush, spirit! Banish this world!!"

The short-haired girl struck a dramatic pose, tearing off her eyepatch to reveal a golden pupil.

"By blood covenant, I summon thee—Queen of the Night!!"

She roared, swinging the parasol down hard toward my flustered self.

"—Dark Matter Flames!!"

"Eh?!"

I barely dodged the parasol’s wild swing.

"What the actual hell?! I told you I’m just passing through!!"

After evading the sudden attack, I bolted for the apartment stairs.

"Vile mage! Why do you withhold your power?!"

The girl charged after me, her parasol slashing toward my back.

"Fine! If you want this chuunibyou game, I’ll play along!!"

Fed up with her relentless assault, I snapped back. From my left sleeve, my black umbrella snapped open.

In that instant, it felt like fate itself had twisted—a single careless phrase had unleashed something impossible...

Had I known those words would fling open a door to a whole new world? Yeah. I’d have bitten my tongue off first.

But it was too late. The moment my voice faded, the world trembled.

CRACK—

My umbrella blocked her parasol mid-swing.

Reality warped. An unknown force—*so chuunibyou*—flooded my senses. The scenery flickered wildly. Her parasol morphed into a grotesque, oversized weapon.

"W-WHAT IS THIS?!" I yelped, jolted by the sudden shift.

"So your evil power finally reveals itself..."

The girl retracted her bizarre weapon, slinging it over her shoulder with icy calm.

"Huh?!"

My throat tightened as I swallowed hard, staring at the weapon now in her hands.

Before I could process it, my umbrella had transformed too—a black katana oozing sinister energy.

"What the hell?! Where’s my umbrella?!"

I spun around and fled down the stairs, katana in hand.

*—I must be dreaming! Umbrellas don’t just turn into swords!*

"Don’t run, vile mage!"

She pursued me, her massive weapon cleaving downward. Instinctively, I raised the black katana to block.

CLANG—

Metal screeched. Sparks exploded where our weapons clashed.

"What kind of mess did I just stumble into?!"

Eldritch runes flared on her blade. Dark flames erupted. My blood ran cold.

"Alright, fine! If you want a fight, I’ll end this!"

I swung the katana desperately, slicing through her flames—and straight into the girl’s forehead.

The warped world shattered like glass. Our weapons reverted to ordinary umbrellas.

Tears welled in the girl’s eyes as she crumpled to the floor, clutching her forehead with both hands. Pathetic. Pitiable.

"Just give up already..."

I tossed a bandage from my bag at her feet, then turned to leave.

Slowly, she picked up the bandage, examining it.

"Contaminated healing tape. Requires sealing."

She pocketed it, then stared after the boy vanishing into the night.

"Vile mage. I, wielder of the Evil King True Eye, will defeat you next time."

Her cold voice echoed in the night as she walked back toward the apartment.

Had I seen her affinity gauge, I’d have noticed it plummet to -60.

But I was already rushing home, umbrella tucked under my arm.

*What... was that just now?* I studied the umbrella, frowning. "Weird... it’s just an umbrella again. How did it turn into a sword...?"

I snapped it shut, gave it an experimental twirl, and slid it back into my sleeve. "Creepy..."

"...Though that girl’s personality was something else. How do you even describe that? Chuunibyou? But nobody ever said chuunibyou was contagious..."

I rubbed my temples, headache blooming.

"Seriously... roleplaying cringe with a terminal-stage chuunibyou patient? If anyone saw that, no amount of explaining would clear my name..."

"Ugh. Just gotta get home. Please, no more run-ins with that chuunibyou disaster. Getting dragged into nonsense like this? So not worth it."