Dawn was just breaking when the alarm clock buzzed beside my ear. An arm emerged from the warm covers and slapped it silent.
I stretched, sat up, and rubbed my sleepy eyes while yawning repeatedly.
Why get up so early? Did you think it’s easy being the protagonist with a house and siblings while both parents are busy abroad? I don’t have a sister like Li Shen who’s amazing at housework. Expecting breakfast from a sister whose affection level toward me is *Ice Cold*? I’d be lucky to get a sip of hot soup.
Besides, I’d raised these two siblings myself. Truth was, I was the only one in this house who cooked or cleaned.
Well, Hidetomo often helped with chores. He’d cling to me adoringly—that 80-point affection level really showed…
After changing into my new high school uniform—a black-clipped gakuran that made me look sharper and taller—I washed up. Slipping on my oval black-rimmed glasses, I stepped into a brand-new day. Or rather, the *hell-difficulty stage* of high school.
A few minutes of casual cooking later, golden fried eggs sailed from the kitchen and landed perfectly on plates at the dining table. Simple stuff for someone from my past life in the Heavenly Kingdom.
I opened the fridge.
“…Huh. Almost out of fresh milk…”
Grabbing the last carton and a bag of cheese bread, I set them on the table.
“Ruri! Hidetomo! Breakfast’s ready!”
“Coming~ Onii-chan~!”
That was Hidetomo. No need to ask how I knew—with Ruri’s affection level, she wouldn’t even greet me.
I sat down, poured myself milk, sandwiched an egg between two slices of bread, and took a bite. Pure satisfaction washed over my face.
Just then, Ruri and Hidetomo finally came downstairs, dressed in their middle school uniforms. Without those uniforms, no one could tell they were siblings.
“Morning, Onii-chan~” Hidetomo chirped, sliding into his seat.
Beside him, Ruri stared blankly at me devouring breakfast, her expression icy.
“I’m digging in!” Hidetomo announced cheerfully before eating.
“Hidetomo, we’re out of milk. Grab some on your way back from school.”
“…Got it… Onii-chan~” He mumbled through a mouthful, gulping down milk.
“Ruri, stay safe this new semester, okay?”
I offered what I hoped was a warm smile. She just turned her face away, ignoring me.
*Sigh.* This was actually an improvement. With her affection level barely at 10, she wouldn’t even do this much. Back when it was *negative*? My clothes got painted with dye. My shoes held dead bugs. My rice bowl got salt, sugar, or mysterious liquids dumped in it. The pranks were endless—just… *brutal*.
I still don’t know how I survived. Honestly, the miracle is she never poisoned me.
After calmly clearing the dishes, I shouldered my bag and grabbed an umbrella before heading out.
The sun was rising, morning light cutting through the chilly spring mist. Not a cloud in sight. Yesterday’s forecast hadn’t mentioned rain either.
Why carry an umbrella? Definitely not to show off like Sakamoto… You’ll see soon enough.
———
Right on schedule, I stepped outside.
Meanwhile, on a certain school route, housewives hid stern-faced behind garden fences, balconies, and alleyways. Bluetooth earpieces buzzed in their ears as they exchanged updates, faces twisted in disgust. Each gripped their chosen “weapon.”
“Target spotted! Positions ready—eliminate on sight!”
“Roger!!!”
———
As I passed a garden gate, eggs suddenly flew from a second-floor kitchen window, aimed straight at me.
“…Auntie. Do this every day… aren’t you tired? Or… do eggs grow on trees for you…?”
I sighed. Just another morning ritual.
I snapped open my umbrella. *Thwack-thwack-thwack!* Egg yolks oozed down the black canopy, dripping onto the street. I kept walking.
A few steps later, a bucket of filthy water splashed from a yard—deflected by my umbrella. Then tomatoes shot from a blind spot; I sidestepped effortlessly.
The barrage continued: rotten tomatoes, sprouted potatoes, used cucumbers, carrot peels, spoiled greens, leftover rice—all hurled with zero regard for the cleanliness this country prides itself on. Sometimes, vibrating… *toys*… even joined the fray.
This daily battlefield forged my reflexes: supernatural agility, ironclad stamina, and preternatural awareness. My body dodged projectiles on instinct. The downside? I couldn’t play any ball sport except dodgeball.
When I finally reached my new school gates, my uniform remained pristine, my demeanor unruffled.
Cherry blossoms bloomed across the campus. Students streamed past, some shooting me disgusted glances—I was used to it. But first, I had to shake the grime off my umbrella.
This wasn’t just any umbrella. Its special black fabric repelled grease and stains. A sharp flick, and it gleamed like new. Best of all? It folded small enough to hide in my sleeve—ready to deploy against enemies anytime.
