I waved at Xiaoyu’s classmates by the subway entrance. Maybe my gaze was too eager—I ended up holding half of Mu Zhixuan’s uneaten ice cream cone.

"Are you really that hot?"

Not the usual "Thirsty?" or "Tired?"—basic concern for an older brother. Jiang Xiaoyu sidestepped my sweat-streaked face, skewering my motives from the root. As if I’d shamelessly hypnotized Zhixuan into shoving it at me. I hesitated to touch the cone, though she’d pressed it into my hand with careless warmth.

"A little."

"Just a *little*? Perfect!"

She snatched the taro-flavored cone and devoured it, greedy despite the half-melted one still in her other hand.

Truth was, I’d never actually consider doing anything unholy to a high school girl’s licked ice cream. At most, I’d just follow the curve downward with my tongue...

"You were totally thinking something perverted just now."

"Impossible! I was wondering why you lied to your friend."

Xiaoyu snorted. "What, does failing to pounce on your sister’s bestie as a *man* make you feel unworthy of the title ‘gentleman beast’?"

One moment I was Jiang Wuque; the next, a gentleman beast. I had a sinking feeling my real name on the household register would vanish someday under my slavemaster’s training.

I reiterated Jiang Xiaoyu’s terrible betrayal of her best friend and gave a thumbs-up. "Quite the opposite. Zhixuan’s clearly shy and introverted. Without your lie, she’d never talk to a strange man. You’re actually playing matchmaker. GJ!"

"Getting cozy with the nickname, huh?"

Unable to refute that, she stomped her stubborn loafer against my shin. It hurt. I bit back a yelp—success. I’d finally ruffled my slavemaster’s feathers.

She then adopted a lecturing pose. "Listen up, Jiang Lan. The world isn’t just men and women. There are also idiots. They look human but have seven-second memories. The easiest way to spot them? Conversation."

Xiaoyu’s "idiot theory" almost made me laugh. Stranger still, her tone and expression mirrored Mom’s exactly. *Seven seconds?* Did she think they were goldfish? Anyone like that wouldn’t just be airheaded—they’d be beyond description.

"And?"

"Zhixuan *is* my best friend. But she’s also an idiot. Fact. I had to reshape your image in her mind to spare her traumatic memories. It was a white lie. That’s what a true friend does to protect an idiot from train wolves!"

Ridiculous! No amount of dramatic monologuing could make that noble. So in my sister’s eyes, I needed lies just to seem decent?

"T-Train wolf? How rude! To Zhixuan *and* to me! Your weird labels are downright insulting!"

Xiaoyu hummed in an odd, singsong voice. "Doesn’t matter. Next time she sees you, you’ll be a brand-new pervert. Forget saving progress—you won’t even register in her memory. Just accept your fate as a fleshlight."

Now I wasn’t even a gentleman beast. *Fleshlight*—that grating word again. If I weren’t sure she’d win a fight, I’d spank Jiang Xiaoyu back to diaper days.

My expression darkened. My voice turned icy. "Where’d you pick up these weird terms? And if you despise me so much, why drag me to meet your friends? Since when do you get lost on the way home?"

"Oh? Angry now?"

I didn’t turn, but I felt Jiang Xiaoyu smiling. I missed the snotty-nosed shadow she used to be. Lately, my slavemaster tortured me mentally *and* physically—utterly unreasonable.

"Orange flavor... Do you like it?" Her sneer softened, just a fraction.

"Neither like nor dislike. Why ask? Answer my question first."

"Less talk. Turn around!"

What an order! A scholar may die but not endure humiliation!

I braked hard and spun to face her. She’d finished the taro cone and was licking residue off her slender fingers. In her neat uniform, perched on the bike’s rear seat like a mischievous kitten, she looked nothing like the sharp-tongued brat who’d just hurled acid with that sweet voice. When had that clumsy little shadow grown so... captivating?

My anger evaporated halfway.

Then confusion crept in. My idea of "womanly charm" was just curves, long legs, and a pretty face—admittedly old-fashioned. What about others? Why did Xiaoyu’s "idiot" best friend and that "deranged" female teacher think *I* had more womanly charm than they did?

As I stared, Xiaoyu narrowed her eyes into crescent moons, smirking at me with a manic grin that made my eyelid twitch. In the next second, her left hand clamped over my mouth while her right—swift as lightning—shoved something cold and soft into it.

"Mmph! Mm? MMMMPH———"

Her pale hands squeezed my cheeks. I gulped down the half-eaten orange ice cream cone without chewing. I coughed, shivering. The melted ice cream slid down easily, but the icy chill in my throat still stung.

"Brat! What was that for?!"

"A reward!"

Satisfied, she clapped her hands clean and declared imperiously: "First, I’ve never looked down on you. *You* look down on yourself. Second, you didn’t embarrass me in front of Zhixuan. She’s a little idiot, but she knows how to appreciate an excellent fleshlight like you. Third, I didn’t ask you to pick me up to go *home*. Where were you even rushing off to alone?"

I gave the self-righteous Jiang Xiaoyu a strange look. Somehow, her twisted logic sounded perfectly reasonable.

"Not going home... You mean eating at Uncle’s place with me?"

Xiaoyu struck a triumphant pose. "Yes. I changed my mind. With the master away, a fickle fleshlight like you would vanish forever in that filthy red-light district. I must personally intervene."

Ever since joining that dance club, Jiang Xiaoyu’s mouth got filthier. She called her sister and uncle’s elegant home a "red-light district." Besides that terrifying term, I’d gained the adjective "fickle." From past experience, Mom would definitely make me stay overnight. Translation: My slavemaster was determined to guard her fleshlight (brother) to the death...

"Fine. Mom’ll be happy. Just don’t say weird stuff in front of her."

"Pfft. ‘Fleshlight’ is the highest praise. Among everyone I know, only *you* can live up to the title!"

"Should I thank you then?" I retorted sarcastically. I’d told no one about that demon except the old priest. How did I end up branded with this rare title? Who filled her head with such twisted ideas?

"You’re welcome!"

So Jiang Xiaoyu’s "fleshlight" equaled Mu Zhixuan’s "womanly charm." Disgusting...

I rolled my eyes and unconsciously licked the ice cream smear on my lips. Orange flavor. Not bad... actually sweet.

After twenty grueling minutes of pedaling, I wheezed to a stop at my second home by Green Lake Villa. No vast farmlands or fish ponds—just a row of luxury villas, each worth a fortune.

I tossed the bike by the gate, ignoring Xiaoyu’s class-warfare glare, and rang the doorbell. Big Sister and Uncle weren’t home from work yet, but Little Sister attended Evergreen Academy’s middle school with me. As expected, hurried footsteps soon echoed inside.

The electronic lock gate swung open, revealing a bright, twin-tailed face. The moment she saw me, Ouyang Lian’s smile bloomed like a flower.

"Brother! Welcome home!"

She crashed into my arms like a swallow returning to its nest. I nearly wept with emotion. The difference in treatment was astronomical...

If Dou could greet me like Little Sister every day, any perverted tendencies would heal on their own. Sadly, Xiaoyu never gave me the chance to become that other, more popular kind of pervert.