Life rarely goes as one hopes—nine out of ten times, it's disappointment.

Just as I was preparing to flee the girls' restroom, a sound of footsteps echoed from outside.

I glanced nervously at Nan Dongye. She leaned comfortably against my shoulder, making it clear she had no intention of helping me escape. Instead, she simply gave me a reassuring look, as if to say, "Relax, I've got this."

Sure enough, the door swung open to reveal a tall girl. She froze upon seeing us, her expression shifting between confusion and anger.

Unlucky for me, I've only memorized a handful of faces in this school’s sea of girls. And wouldn’t you know, this was one of them—someone I recognized instantly. Fortunately, however, she didn’t recognize me.

“This is the girls’ restroom. Do you even know what you’re doing here?” The first words out of Xu Lingzhu’s mouth were as sharp as her piercing gaze, her arms crossed and her presence utterly commanding.

As expected of the Student Council President—her authority was leagues above that of the dimwitted teachers.

Yes, the uninvited guest standing before me was none other than the President herself: Xu Lingzhu from Class 3-1. This was the same Xu Lingzhu who delivers speeches at opening ceremonies and school events every single year. She’s so well-known that it’d be difficult to find anyone in Evergreen Academy, from middle school to high school, who hasn’t heard of her.

However, my knowledge of her didn’t come from her reputation or speeches, but from a random encounter, catching her in the middle of an argument with her brother, Xu Xian. The world is just that small. Unlike her lazy and devil-may-care brother, Xu Lingzhu is razor-sharp and known for her impeccable academics and spotless reputation.

At least she had a valid reason to be upset—there was, after all, a guy in the girls' restroom. Her anger, though terrifying, was somewhat comforting. If only her idiot older brother had had even half this situational awareness, our first meeting might not have devolved into him nearly declaring his eternal affection on the spot.

“I’m talking to you! What class are you in, huh? Got a lot of nerve!”

I couldn’t even stammer out a response. She was openly glaring at me, her sharp features framed by her golden locks—her flawless white blouse, tied with a neat bow, and pleated skirt accentuated her long, slender legs. Only after meeting the President did I realize that golden hair like that could, in fact, be all-natural and not dyed.

This was not good. Not good at all.

My mind raced with horrible visions of tomorrow’s school broadcasts blaring across the intercoms:

“Today’s public announcement: Jiang Lan from Class 3-4 was caught red-handed loitering in the girls’ bathroom after school hours. Duly apprehended by the President herself, evidence in hand! Let this be a warning to everyone!”

Suddenly, my "hostage" decided to intervene.

“President, I wasn’t feeling well, so I asked him to come in and help me,” Nan Dongye said weakly, clutching her stomach and putting on a faint smile.

Her performance was so convincing that Xu Lingzhu immediately softened, as if an unspoken solidarity had stirred within her. Without hesitation, she plucked the hat off my head—a cascade of my long black hair tumbled down. Somehow, my disguise had morphed into… a lie wrapped in an even bigger lie.

For a brief moment, Xu Lingzhu froze, her eyes betraying awe before quickly snapping back into her usual stern expression. A light blush dusted her cheeks as she said hesitantly, “Oh. I… I see. My apologies. I thought you were… well, I misjudged. Sorry.”

She cast a quick, almost embarrassed glance at my equally flat chest, her gaze laden with an awkward mixture of apology and unexpected sympathy.

Damn it, I know what’s going on in your head, President. Trust your instincts! Why doesn’t this misunderstanding make me happy at all?

In the President’s eyes, my princess carry must’ve turned into some kind of cheesy shoujo manga "yuri" scene. I glared at Nan Dongye, who cheekily stuck out her tongue at me, as if to say, “I didn’t lie! She just jumped to conclusions on her own.”

The crisis was resolved, but it left behind a lingering uncertainty. My main takeaway? Please, let me never cross paths with Xu Xian’s little sister again.

As I stood frozen in place, Xu Lingzhu casually strolled into a stall and shut the door.

Wait a second—what’s she doing?!

Wow. That’s an absolutely stupid question. People come to the bathroom for one of two reasons—to pee or… yeah.

My brain overloaded, feeding me with intrusive flashes of the half-Chinese, half-Western beauty loosening her skirt, sliding off her panties, white tiles echoing with quiet splashes of—

Nan Dongye’s hand twisted a merciless 180 degrees into my gut, promptly snapping me out of my trance.

I had barely made my escape, but I wasn’t relieved. If the President ever finds out who I really am, will her personal army obliterate me, or will she do it herself?

According to Yan Qing—who's been pestering me on how to formally address Xu Xian as his "future brother-in-law"—Xu Lingzhu has been a Student Council member since middle school and is beloved by both guys and girls. After moving up to the high school division, she’d been almost unanimously elected President three times in a row.

The only downside? Her chest, which is… let’s just say, not quite what one might associate with a “Western blonde bombshell.” Among all the girls I’ve met, the only one who surpasses her mixed-race charm is Xiaoyu, who’s just a year younger than me.

Xiaoyu has delicate and petite features, a fully developed figure, and the appearance of my mother from her photos twenty years ago. Her only shortcoming might be that she didn’t inherit my mom’s striking icy blue eyes.

But really, who decided that a Student Council President absolutely *must* be an ethereal beauty?

Nan Dongye, the vile mastermind behind this whole mess, sat smugly in my arms as we descended the stairs. Could this have been the theater club president’s grand scheme? To calculate the timing of her period just to trap me in this scenario?

“You seem awfully dejected. Wait… don’t tell me... do you have a crush on the President?” Nan Dongye blinked at me with mock innocence.

“What do you think?” I shot back. “If a boy mistook you for one of his own and just went about his business in the men’s room, would you feel overjoyed? Besides, there’s only one Student Council President in the whole school, and she just so happens to be a rare Barbie doll! Are you seriously telling me it’s weird to not have a crush on her?”

Nan Dongye’s face lit up with surprise and a hint of mischief, as if amazed that this was the kind of girl I was. She began to tease me again, clearly not finished tormenting me.

But I’d made three promises today—I couldn’t possibly let her off easy. Forget poetic justice; I’d find another avenue to assert my dominance.

With a wicked grin, my hand slid toward the supple curve of her thigh, slowly creeping upward. “When it comes to cute girls, my tastes are pretty inclusive, you know. Even you aren’t off the hook, Yuzuru Sensei...”

“Ahh!”

Nan Dongye let out a startled yelp, her face turning crimson. She clamped her hands over mine to stop its mischievous ascent. “Stop it! I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry! I apologize!”

Satisfied, I withdrew my hand, though I couldn’t stop myself from reliving that firm, perfect line beneath her jeans. Positioning myself as the wise and mature elder, I solemnly declared, “Alright then. But next time, don’t joke about someone’s gender like that. It’s incredibly disrespectful—even if we are childhood friends. Don’t make me accuse you of discrimination!”

“You think you’re *who*—Hideyoshi?” Nan Dongye shot back under her breath before bursting into laughter. “That said… you’re really starting to have this whole ‘alluring woman’ vibe going for you. If this keeps up, maybe your feelings will actually come true!”

What exactly *is* “womanly charm,” anyway?

I drifted into thought, recalling Gu Hengbo and Nan Dongye—both outstanding girls in their own right. Why on earth would they have this perception of me?

…Regardless, I refuse to accept the compliment.

To make that clear, I snaked my arm around Nan Dongye’s waist and started moving my hand upward. She quickly smacked it away, a cherry-red flush spreading across her face.

“Don’t joke about these things—seriously!” she protested, clutching her chest.

I smirked. “Alright then. But if you keep teasing me, I swear I’m going to toss you straight into the boys’ bathroom. Let your *dad* come rescue you with extra pads this time!”

“You wouldn’t!” Nan Dongye yelped, holding her forehead where I’d lightly flicked her. Then, a sly smile overtook her lips. “Anyway, you do know that a ton of people have been talking about you, right?”

“Of course they have.” I rolled my eyes as I adjusted my grip on the bike.

“It’s true!” she said, smiling even wider. “You’ve got way more charm than you think!”

I shot her a look over my shoulder and let out a dry laugh before teasing, “Yeah? And if you keep it up, I’ll throw you back in the restroom. Or better yet—the boys’ restroom! See how well you survive the looks!”

Nan Dongye just snickered, poking me in the back.

We fell into silence as I pedaled my bike forward, her fingers lingering around my waist before she finally relented and simply rested her arms against me. Shadows from the rows of parasol trees dappled the road beneath our wheels, their long limbs filtering the warm afternoon light.

“Hey, did you hear that?” she asked softly.

“What?” I murmured back.

“The sound of hearts breaking!” she said teasingly, letting out a quiet laugh.

A quick scan around us revealed a downright apocalyptic scene—across the adjacent field, the expressions of several athletic boys from nearby clubs had gone utterly desolate. Great, just what I needed—the death cries of hearts shattered over the sight of Nan Dongye sitting on my bike, her arms wrapped snugly around my waist.

It didn’t make me proud, though. Their hopeless stares just meant one thing: the realization that the girl of their dreams wasn’t interested in them at all.

Not that I could stick around to clear up this comedic misunderstanding. South-bound towards *anywhere but here*, I pedaled with all the urgency of a man whose execution hour was rapidly approaching.

“Feeling better now?” I called back over the hum of the tires.

Nan Dongye chuckled, poking my back again. “I wasn’t kidding. A lot of their heartbreak is really about *you*, you know!”

“…Me?”

“Yeah! You! Everyone’s been talking about you online in the school forums!”

“…Don’t even start with me.”

At first, I figured she was joking. But later that evening, I came face-to-face with this world’s twisted sense of humor.