The sunlight stabbing through the window was painfully bright. Maybe all this staying indoors was turning me into a vampire. I yanked the curtains shut and shook my head in confusion. Was I supposed to gaze deeply at her and say, "Silly girl, of course I was looking at you!"?

Sorry, but I never unlocked the "flirting with girls" skill tree. Expecting sweet nothings from my mouth was unrealistic—especially after middle school, when I lost the ability to say such things to girls altogether.

Besides, Nan Dongye wasn’t some cliché sweet-smelling beauty. She was a full-blown fujoshi, constantly fantasizing about forbidden romance between me and Xu Xian the snake-charmer. I’d flipped through *Ji Wuyu* magazine once; those pages plastered with flower backgrounds and illustrations of long-legged, sharp-chinned oppas? Made just for her.

"So... why?" I spread my hands toward Nan Dongye.

"Why what?"

I glanced at the mountain of flesh dozing in front of me, then at the sunshine-bro waving from across the classroom. "Baoyu told me Xiao Yi said Xu Xian ordered us to come to school today."

Xiao Yi perked up his ears. It’d been a week since the start of term. We—the so-called Four Heavenly Kings—hadn’t shown up once since enrollment. The classroom buzzed with chatter, yet everything seemed eerily calm. Had the class monitor caught wind of something?

"What nonsense." Nan Dongye frowned, then suddenly slapped her chest with righteous conviction. "No reason! I’ve been too lenient with you all. My fault—you’ve cemented our class’s position as the worst in the entire grade! Xu Xian and Baoyu managed passable scores, but you and Yan Qing? Last year’s finals—you didn’t even bother guessing answers! Just handed in blank papers! As class monitor, I failed you. This year, I’ll set you straight!"

That’s right. Xu Xian, Yan Qing, Jia Baoyu, and I were the legendary Four Heavenly Kings of Evergreen Academy’s high school division. There’d been a moment I felt guilty my name wasn’t Jiang Wuque, stuck with these flamboyantly named brothers-in-arms.

But Nan Dongye’s words only confused me more. *Are you Master Yideng? Huh? I haven’t gone mad!*

"We haven’t even gone astray! How can we ‘return to the right path’?"

Nan Dongye sighed heavily. Her eyes sharpened as she locked onto mine, voice trembling with emotion. "Jiang Lan, the person you think you are isn’t your true self. Trust me—it’s not too late to turn back. You could be so much more!"

*What is she even saying? She’s completely lost in her own drama!*

"Don’t keep sinking like this. You’ll only bring sorrow to your family and friends. Your future will drown in endless regret. ‘If you don’t strive in youth, you’ll grieve in old age.’ Promise me—no more skipping class... okay?"

Her voice thickened with sorrow, her face a mix of pity and grief, as if pleading with a lost soul. She even clasped my right hand with her warm, delicate fingers. It reminded me of that old priest years ago—and memories I’d rather forget.

*Damn it. Childhood trauma twice before noon? The Qing Dynasty really is collapsing.*

I jerked my hand back like she was a venomous snake. After a silent pause, I groaned, "Are we rehearsing *Les Misérables*? Are you a cult recruiter? Brainwashing me on day one?"

"Tch. Exposed already? I thought my acting was pretty convincing." Nan Dongye pouted, flipping a book page. A flicker of loneliness flashed in her downcast eyes.

*No, no—your speech was so moving I almost confessed to crimes I didn’t commit...*

"So... nothing’s happening today?" Yan Qing summed up Nan Dongye’s rant.

"Pretty much. But don’t miss the old man. Our new homeroom teacher’s just like Jiang Lan—never stays past the bell, barely makes it on time. He won’t care if you traitors live or die."

Yan Qing’s face fell. *We’ve got a traitor in our midst!*

I pressed my fingers to my temples, voice edged with threat. "Then why the false alarm? You’re undercover too—you know how busy we four are! Look at your fellow cultist Jia Baoyu melting into a puddle of lard on that non-stick chair!"

"It’s not that bad! I’m busy too, but I still attend class *and* club activities!" Nan Dongye jabbed a slender finger at my nose, eyes narrowed. "I don’t care. My period started today—I’m in a foul mood. Seeing your empty seat made it worse. So I finally decided..."

The obedient monitor who’d stood by me since our lucky high school reunion revealed claws beneath her fluffy paws. When had I last seen Nan Dongye this fierce? Age seven? Eight? The little girl who cried at the Martial Arts Hall when she couldn’t break the wooden dummy had grown into quite the striking young woman.

"What decision?"

Nan Dongye grinned, twitching her cute little nose like a cat. Her finger still hovered near my nose. "I’m ending you! Your carefree days are over!"

She burst into loud "wahaha" laughter. Funny thing—Nan Dongye’s laugh held zero menace. Just pure, adorable charm.

Yan Qing sighed, his face screaming *Whatever makes you happy*. If the monitor stopped covering for us, this good life truly was over. So the real problem at lax Evergreen Academy wasn’t the system—it was Nan Dongye’s period.

Sleep-deprived and furious, I snapped my teeth onto Nan Dongye’s wiggling finger.

"Yah!" She yanked her hand back, too flustered to point at me anymore. "A-are you a dog?!"

I’d never willingly be chained to this school. Sleeping in a chair versus a bed? Two entirely different worlds.

"Requesting negotiations!"

"Denied!"

I leaned forward, crossing the invisible line into her territory. My voice dropped, low and pressuring. "Little Yezi... reconsider? If people find out you’re the Ji—"

"Ji what?! I’m a duck too!" Nan Dongye interrupted carelessly—but her panicked eyes gave her away.

Xiao Yi looked intensely curious. They’d never known how I kept the monitor in check.

Now, control was back in my hands. I leisurely pulled out my Chinese textbook, ready to find Lu Xun’s bitterly ironic tales.

Predictably, Nan Dongye grew restless. After fidgeting, she whispered a plea: "Don’t tell anyone... I won’t survive at school if you do."

"Easy. Renew our contract!"

"No way!"

I winked playfully at her, lowering my voice. "So... no deal? Teacher Yuzuru from *Ji Wuyu* magazine?"

Nan Dongye’s face flushed crimson. Tears welled as she stammered, "N-no! Anything but that! I’ll do anything else, really!"

"Oh? *Anything*?" I challenged, eyes narrowing as I scanned her shirt-clad, curvy high schooler frame.

"R-really..."

Her dazed expression, flushed cheeks—she was clearly imagining something else, yet held her ground.

I hadn’t seen this look on Little Yezi since she grew up. In Xiao Yi’s otaku terms, had I just unlocked a new CG for the childhood friend route?

But I wasn’t stupid enough to provoke a second demon. The old priest would be heartbroken. I asked, "Why target *us* about attendance? You could easily fudge the records behind the scenes."

"N-not them..." She lowered her head slightly, avoiding my gaze. "Just... just you."

*Me? What unforgivable grudge do you hold, sister?!*

"Ever since your uncle passed... you’ve changed. I can’t pinpoint how, but... Auntie and Xiao Yu wouldn’t want to see you like this. I wasn’t there for you back then—I don’t know what you carried alone. But... I can’t watch you numb yourself anymore!" Her voice was barely a whisper.

Speechless. Nan Dongye was still that warm-hearted, tear-prone little girl. How could I exploit her secret hobby for my own gain?

Her voice trembled, audible only to us over the classroom din. "Senior year matters. Yes, a diploma’s just a piece of paper—maybe meaningless to you. But I can’t watch you keep making mistakes, trapping yourself in a cage of your own making. I don’t care what you choose later... but for this one year, just attend class properly. This is one of our last bits of youth."

"*Just this year!*"

She stressed it again.

*Sigh.*

Nan Dongye knew nothing. She only sensed I was building my own prison. What trapped me—only the old priest knew. Whether I could escape? Even I didn’t know.

I gave a small nod. I had to yield. Even in her ignorance, Little Yezi was thinking of me. This silent care was the heaviest, hardest thing to refuse.

A dazzling smile bloomed on Nan Dongye’s face—so bright I wondered if the whole scene had been her staged opera.

"You actually agreed!"

"Yeah..."

"See? I’ve got talent!" Nan Dongye boasted amid my bitter smile, then added comfortingly, "But seriously—you should focus on studies. I heard from the staff room they’re pressuring teachers. If you keep this up, Mr. Gu will eventually snap!"

Fine. Consider it a warning shot. Head throbbing, I slumped onto my desk, ignoring the little director reveling in her victory.

Youth. Such a sickening word. I wish I’d never had it—then I’d never have met that demon who corrupted my body and soul. As Xiao Yi often quoted some sage: *Youth is falsehood. Deception. Hollow boasting.*

So, as always: Damn youth!