People drift apart as they grow up. You can't help overthinking things.

Back in the day, during summer and winter breaks, I’d always be thinking of staying at my grandparents’ place. But the moment I stepped off the train, I’d head not to their home—but to that white mansion instead.

Finally on break. Finally time to see Xiao Xue again. I could never wait.

Every time we met, I’d shot up like bamboo overnight, while Luo Xue stayed almost exactly the same.

Slim and small, with a pale complexion—but always beaming when she saw me.

She remained unchanged. But I had.

In body. In heart.

Ever since I’d jokingly tested her feelings and realized she didn’t like me that way, I’d slowly pulled away.

I’d seen her as my best friend—even someone I loved. But to her, I was probably just an ordinary friend.

Expendable. So why bother spending time with her?

From then on, I stopped visiting my grandparents during breaks. Instead, I signed up for cram schools. After all, the study habits Luo Xue had instilled in me hadn’t faded.

She still called often. I’d reply with polite, friend-like small talk.

When she repeatedly asked why I never came back during holidays, I’d blame heavy coursework.

There was one unavoidable meeting, though.

Whenever I had a long break, my grandparents would summon me home, claiming they missed their grandson. Helpless, I’d spend the last few days of vacation at their place.

Sometimes they’d take me to see Luo Xue. I’d go reluctantly, exchanging only stiff pleasantries with the adults at the white mansion, barely speaking to her.

Until… the summer after my second year of middle school.

…

One afternoon, shortly after break began, Grandpa called.

"Xiao Fan, come home. Your grandma misses you."

His voice, rough and deep, crackled through the phone.

*Grandma, my foot. Just admit you miss me!* Grandpa always put on a stern front, never quite managing warm words.

"I can’t. Just enrolled in cram school!"

I refused flatly. It was barely the start of break—I had plans.

"You *will* come back. I’ve already had your mother cancel your classes."

His tone left no room for argument.

"Canceled?"

I nearly shouted in disbelief.

"Xiao Xue wants you to tutor her. It’s been too long since you last taught her."

His voice trembled slightly.

*Xiao Xue?*

My heart skipped.

We hadn’t spoken in ages. Truthfully, I’d wanted to see her.

With cram school canceled, I had no choice but to return and study with her at my grandparents’.

After a day and night on the train, then a city bus, I finally reached my grandparents’ town that evening.

Walking down the familiar stone path, rows of gray-tiled houses came into view.

Waiting at my grandparents’ gate weren’t just my stooped, elderly grandparents—but also a middle-aged man.

Luo Xue’s father.

He invited me to stay at the white mansion.

It had air conditioning. My grandparents’ home only had paper fans.

The heat was stifling, the air humid, mosquitoes everywhere. The mansion would be more comfortable.

I agreed without hesitation. I even tried convincing my grandparents to join me, but Grandpa complained about the AC’s chemical smell and how the cold air aggravated his arthritis.

At the Luo residence.

A silver-haired girl stood gracefully in the doorway, leaning against the frame. She smiled sweetly at me—as if we’d only been apart overnight, not months.

That long-lost childhood feeling surged back. I slipped effortlessly into being the old Lu Fan again.

Carefree. Simply happy to be with her. To hell with stupid romance.

I just wanted to be near her. What did it matter if she didn’t love me back?

I pulled out my summer homework. Her eyes lit up as she eagerly ran her fingers over the ordinary exercise book.

Day by day, we worked through it—until the final page on the last day of break.

"I’m so happy! You studied so hard, Lu Fan. No wonder you were too busy to visit last break—you were learning at home!"

Luo Xue gushed over my grades.

"Just tried a little harder, haha…"

I scratched my head, glancing at her leaning beside me, suddenly shy.

"Keep this up. Remember—you’re studying for both of us now!" she teased.

"Of course. I’ll come back to teach you whenever I can," I promised.

"…" She paused.

"Lu Fan… I might be going abroad soon. For a very long time… We probably won’t get to study together again…"

Her voice turned heavy, eyes downcast.

"Why so suddenly?"

I was stunned.

"I just… want to go home."

Luo Xue smiled softly.

"Isn’t this your home?"

Panic edged my voice.

*If she leaves… will she ever come back? If she doesn’t… I’ll never see her again.*

"That place is my new home. A home without pain. But… I’ll miss this place."

She gazed out the window, wistful.

"*Without pain?*"

A strange unease prickled in me.

"The air there is fresh. Not stuffy like here," she explained.

"But… I don’t want you to go. I—"

I choked up.

*I love you!*

*Don’t leave!*

*Are you taking even the right to watch over you from me?*

"I have to go."

Luo Xue turned away, refusing to look at me.

"Luo Xue, I love you. Can you stay?"

I called out to her back.

*If I don’t say it now, it’ll be too late.*

"Lu Fan… we’re just best friends. *Forever* best friends, okay?"

Her voice trembled.

Rejected. Without hesitation.

"…"

I was speechless.

*How presumptuous of me.*

"Sorry… I should go. My grandparents cooked free-range chicken to see me off. I need to head back to school." My words felt mechanical.

"Lu Fan… I—"

She buried her face in her arms, hiding from me—but she seemed to want to say more.

"Goodbye!"

I gathered my things and stood to leave.

"Goodbye…"

…

I returned to school the next day, my heart hollowed out.

I tried drowning the pain in studies, forcing myself to read—but every page reminded me of Luo Xue. Focus was impossible.

Until a package arrived from my grandparents.

Inside a delicate box lay a coil of silver hair, cushioned by a note: *"Keep this as a memento."*

Beneath the box was Luo Xue’s diary—the one she’d never let me touch.

*Did she send it by mistake? She always guarded it fiercely, throwing her whole small body over it whenever I tried to peek.*

Taped to the diary was a postcard: a black church backed by endless white crosses.

Bold ink strokes—her father’s handwriting—covered it:

*"Thank you for keeping my daughter Xiao Xue company all these years."*

*"She asked me to burn this diary after she left. But I think you should read it."*

*"After you do… please honor her wish. Burn it."*

A notebook meant for ashes. An eerie postcard.

Dread coiled in my chest.

After reading every page, I finally understood.

Xiao Xue really had gone abroad.

…

To Heaven.