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First Audience with My Retainers
update icon Updated at 2025/12/10 17:30:44

Ma Xiaoming, gazing at his new reflection in the mirror, heard movement behind him. He didn’t need to turn. As the warrior known as Pipe Captain, he could pinpoint sounds and positions—basic survival skills, like having eyes in the back of his head.

This room held no other living soul. Through his senses, only one lifeform remained: that woman. Purames Anna Elifran. What was her role again? While analyzing her profile, Ma Xiaoming assessed his situation. *Is this a dream?* He dismissed the thought instantly. Every tangible detail screamed reality.

So he was now Pipe Captain—the novel’s ultimate villain, the infamous skeletal pirate lord. His crew? Ruthless terrors. Though he’d written them as loyal, reality was unpredictable. Show weakness, and they might deem him unfit to lead… and eliminate him.

*Gods. My position is perilous.* He couldn’t afford panic or hesitation. Only by embodying Pipe Captain could he survive—and eventually find a way back.

*But… what awaits me there?* Endless commutes. Bosses forcing him to pay for their drinks during "breaks." This world wasn’t so bad. Pipe Captain commanded limitless treasure—millennia of plunder—and immense power. As the final boss, he was formidable… until the Hero arrived. *Hero!?*

*No!* Those so-called heroes killed for hollow justice. *Wait… I never even created a Hero yet.*

Panic surged. Invisible enemies. Unknown threats. *Could I even defeat a Hero?* First, he needed intel. *Yes. Master this world. Tread carefully. Survive.*

"Pipe-sama… I’m relieved you’re unharmed. I called to you many times, but you didn’t answer. I worried terribly."

Purames Anna Elifran reached from behind, hesitated, then wrapped her arms around Pipe’s skeletal frame. A flush spread across her cheeks.

"*Hrk*—ahem." Pipe’s voice rasped like dry bones. "Purames… your boldness grows."

She recoiled instantly, dropping to one knee. Her shoulders trembled as she bowed her head.

"Purames Anna Elifran," he intoned, icy words dripping with death. He twisted his skull, empty eye sockets fixing on her. Within the darkness, twin crimson pinpricks glowed like malevolent pupils. "I recall granting no permission… to touch me."

Though his bony face held no expression, the threat was palpable. Purames realized her grave error—she’d embraced the undisputed ruler of these seas. Her pupils shrank. *Death by his hand… or my own?*

"Forgive my insolence! I shall atone with my life!"

*Shink!* A dagger flashed from her belt, its tip pressing against her throat. Death was mercy here. Pipe Captain cursed souls into eternal, tormented undeath—better to vanish quietly…

"...Unnecessary."

Bone fingers clamped her wrist like iron vise. The blade halted inches from her skin. Purames froze, stunned. She wore Insight Earrings—meant to track all movement—yet his speed was invisible. *How terrifying.*

Pipe snatched the dagger, weighed it casually, then flicked his wrist. *Thud.* It buried itself perfectly in an empty scabbard across the room. *A swordsman’s precision.* His body felt sharper, instincts heightened—like a sixth sense mapping his surroundings. *Useful. But how to handle subordinates?*

He paced behind Purames, buying time. *What would Pipe Captain do?* Some half-remembered corporate mantra surfaced: *"Leadership sustains organizational vitality."* He didn’t notice the terror his circling inflicted.

"Ahem. Your lapse is unforgivable," he declared flatly. "As first mate of the Reaper’s Scythe Pirate Crew, your conduct reflects on us all. Do you think death absolves you? No. I have vital tasks for capable hands… and I reward competence."

*That was terrible!* *Is this Pipe’s personality? Who am I even now?* He leaned close, whispering into her ear. Each toneless word struck her like a hammer.

"Yes, Captain! Command me!"

*Huh. It worked?* Relief flickered as she kowtowed, still kneeling. *This isn’t how it should be… but retreat isn’t an option.*

"Gather Faglas Lazio, Greenland Sphinx, and the Golden Key and Silver Lock sisters. Deck assembly. Half an hour."

"Understood!"

She backed out of the room on her knees, forehead pressed to the floor.

*Phew. Her character matches the novel.* Once his loyal officer, she’d fallen deeply for him during their raids. The original Pipe Captain valued treasure over lovers—a true scoundrel. *Though… she is stunning. A Siren’s beauty.* If not for this emotionless undead shell, he might have… *Hah. She’d pulverize me. Her Frostbite Gauntlets could reduce me to bone dust.*

*No. Risking life for a woman? Absurd. Love? A pointless distraction.* He sighed. *Is this Pipe’s mind… or mine? I’m Ma Xiaoming. An office drone.* He buried that identity. *Survival means becoming Pipe Captain.*

He strode from the captain’s quarters. The *Resurrection Goddess*’s stern housed its safest core—reinforced decks layered like armor. Below lay the third deck: prisons, powder magazines, and barracks for mindless undead grunts. No rights. No safety. First to flood, first to splinter under ramming attacks. *Lucky they can’t drown… unless shattered.*

The second deck—where he walked—was near-impregnable. Only a cannonball punching through multiple decks could reach it. Boarders? They’d have to cut through a thousand crew on the upper decks first.

He entered the gun deck. Though part of the second level, it spanned three sub-decks. 173 Fire God Cannons lined the hull—forty per tier. *Magnificent.* Their explosive shells could cripple medium ships with one hit, sink small ones outright. Even ironclads would crumble.

"...My beloved beasts," he murmured, bony fingers tracing cold iron. The words held no warmth, yet pride bled through. *Strange. This isn’t my voice. This confidence… this hunger… Am I becoming him?*

"...Captain. An unexpected honor to find you here."

Pipe turned. A man in crisp tailcoat knelt, hand over heart.

"Faglas Lazio. Rise. No formalities among crew."

"Respect is loyalty made visible, Captain. It is necessary."

Faglas Razio lifted his head respectfully, his expression grave. He looked every bit the stubborn gentleman clinging to principle. Pipe Captain could only nod, heartened to see genuine conviction—not mere flattery—in those steadfast eyes.

Faglas Razio served as steward aboard the *Resurrection Goddess*... and chef, preparing meals for high-ranking crew who weren’t Undead. He appeared the perfect gentleman—yet few knew his hidden nature: a brutal werewolf. Excessive bloodshed could trigger his savage transformation. But when human? Impeccably poised. Gentle.

"Very well. If you insist, a hand-over-heart bow will suffice from now on..."

"Your mercy humbles me, my lord. May I ask—why walk alone? Where is Purames’ escort? Why does Greenland Sphinx not attend you? This is unwise. Though your kindness to subordinates is legendary, I must voice my concern..."

"Hm... I sent Purames to gather everyone at the bow. You’ll accompany me there instead."

"Ah... the honor is mine!"

A flicker of excitement colored Faglas’ voice before he mastered himself, falling back into practiced calm.

*Sigh.* This still felt unnatural. Once a lone wolf... Pipe Captain glanced back at Faglas trailing respectfully behind. *Must be Ma Xiaoming’s personality bleeding through. No friends before. Always alone. Now being followed, served like a master...* He steeled himself. *Adapt quickly. At least I designed their loyalty. No scheming traitors in this crew. I’d be the first to execute any betrayer... Hmph.*

Pipe Captain ascended from the second deck to the uppermost cabin. Undead sailors hurried along the corridors, dropping to their knees the moment they spotted him and Faglas.

Pipe Captain’s skeletal face betrayed nothing—perfect for hiding his inner fluster. Behind him, Faglas’ gaze burned hotter.

*Such power. An emperor’s grace... My sovereign is worthy of devotion. His depths are abyssal—even gods couldn’t fathom his thoughts.* Faglas, merely a cook once overlooked, swelled with gratitude at this privilege. *I could howl at the moon...*

Light seeped through the stairwell’s end—a stark contrast to the gloom below. Like glimpsing hell’s rim after a desperate climb. Pipe Captain stepped onto the deck without a word, bones clicking softly.

Sea wind snapped his coat against his skeletal frame. The sky hung leaden, threatening rain. The ocean wasn’t the deep blue or emerald he’d seen online—it was black. Oily. Hungry. As if sea monsters lurked beneath its churning surface. The ship idled near shore. On a distant island, a lone mountain pierced storm clouds crackling with lightning. The entire isle reeked of demonic habitation. At its base, a natural cave opened into a fjord—Death Fjord.

*My stronghold lies within that mountain. A labyrinth of traps... and treasures.*

His flagship, the *Resurrection Goddess*, loomed like a leviathan. He’d toured military destroyers once—this dwarfed them. Though wooden-hulled, its triple-layered construction (timber, iron plating, shock-absorbing inner wood) was reinforced by dark巫术. White resentment billowed from its hull, shrouding the sea in ghostly mist.

*Ghost Ship.* The words surfaced in his mind. Four massive masts lined the deck. The mainmast speared the heavens, its tattered white sails furled. Only the black Jolly Roger snapped in the wind.

Ghostly crewmen phased through decks, scrubbing planks or patching holes. Undeath corroded the hull constantly—but exhaustion meant nothing to skeletons and spirits.

"This way, my lord..."

"Hm."

Pipe Captain strode toward the bow, face impassive despite marveling at the ghosts’ efficiency. Several figures awaited him.

Purames stood rigid in a black coat, watching their approach. Nearby, two pale girls in Gothic dresses—barely twelve—were "playing." The silver-haired one, a mischievous smirk on her face, bit the neck of her near-identical golden-haired twin while kneading her chest and licking her ear.

"Ahh~ Nngh~ Stop it, Silver~ Everyone’s watching..." The golden-haired girl flushed, weakly pushing her sister away while moaning half-hearted protests.

"Hey! You two perverts! Knock it off!"

"Hmph..."

"Y-yes... s-sorry..."

Scolded by a girl wielding a sniper rifle, the twins broke apart and shuffled toward Pipe Captain. The group arranged themselves by rank, faces alight with reverence. The rifle-toting girl scowled—until she saw Pipe Captain. Her expression softened instantly, eyes sparkling.

She was short, clad in leather armor and a long cloak, cradling an antique sniper rifle. Her stern face contrasted with huge, blinking eyes. A栗色 fringe hid one side of her face, revealing only a single green-glowing eye. Silky hair cascaded down her back, pinned with a黑白条纹 hair clip. A red scarf hugged her neck. *Greenland Sphinx.* A genderless puppet doll. *Sniper. Assassin. And... multiple kinks.* Pipe Captain’s hidden Ma Xiaoming persona throbbed with headache—and phantom stomach cramps. *I designed this "unique villain" to avoid clichés... Who knew I’d BECOME the villain? This is like commanding a walking sex doll...*

*Greenland Sphinx...* Pipe Captain’s calm exterior masked panic. *This subordinate fantasizes about me constantly. Unbearable.* He caught the puppet’s adoring gaze. *Gods. Its necrophilia makes it obsessed with Undead like me. And it worships power... I’m the ultimate villain boss... Why me?!*

"Core members of the Reaper’s Scythe!" Purames’ voice cut through the tension. "Kneel before our sovereign! The master we serve! The lord we’d die for without hesitation—Pipe Master! Offer your deepest loyalty!"

Faglas dropped to one knee before Pipe Captain, hand over heart.

"Faglas Razio kneels before you... my revered sovereign!"

The twin "Cannonball Sisters"—Gold and Silver, vampire prodigies—abandoned their mischief, kneeling instantly.

"Golden Key kneels before you... my devoted master."

"Silver Lock kneels before you... my one and only lord!"

Greenland Sphinx set down its rifle, knelt, and pressed a hand to its chest.

"Greenland Sphinx kneels before you... the world’s most beautiful master. My one true love!"

*Gulp.*

Purames crawled on her knees to Pipe Captain’s boots, kissing them frantically.

"Foolish, unworthy Purames Anna Elifran kneels before you... Merciful master, your slave begs forgiveness! Spare me a shameful death... Forgive me..." Tears streamed down her face.

"...Rise, Purames. I forgive your past insolence. Your loyalty pleases me. Live—and keep serving faithfully."

"Thank you, my lord..."

Pipe Captain didn’t glance down. His cold arrogance felt like salvation to Purames. She retreated on her knees, trembling. Others exhaled silently—relieved he hadn’t demanded her death.

"...I summoned you for a task."

A sickly green-blue aura flared from Pipe Captain’s bones. His hollow eyes ignited crimson. The sky darkened. Ghostly crewmen shuddered, collapsing in worship. If the ship could be sliced open, every soul aboard would be seen kneeling—crushed by the怨灵’s soulwave.

"Your orders, my lord?"

"Each of you will command 200 specters. Chart these waters thoroughly. Report back in one week with detailed maps."

"As for the scope... the wider the better. And stay concealed—no one must detect our presence."

"Understood! We pledge our lives to scout the surrounding waters for you, Master!" they replied in unison.

"No. I want intelligence. If any of you dies over such a trivial task, I won’t forgive you. Do you understand? Don’t tarnish the Scythe of Death’s honor... I tolerate no failure."

"Yes! Your will is clear to us!"

"Hmm... Prepare thoroughly before departure... Stay safe. Dismissed."

With a wave, Pipe Master activated the spear-engraved gemstone ring on his finger. It flashed—and he vanished back to the captain’s quarters.

*So it worked. This ring was designed to make me omnipotent aboard this ship. The Domain Ring... As long as I’m on the Resurrection Goddess, it teleports me anywhere instantly.*

He hadn’t used it earlier just to verify if this ship matched his design. Perfect alignment. Now, he’d tighten his grip on these subordinates—to face future crises. Who knew when the Hero would come hunting? Caution was vital. Royalties no longer mattered; survival did.

After Pipe Master vanished, the crew waited silently. Only when certain he was gone did they dare lift their heads.

"T-terrifying..."

"Truly our captain—the ruler of this Death Fjord."

"Such magnificence... truly..."

"Hey, Purames! What’s wrong with you?!"

Purames had collapsed, his face flushed in an ecstatic daze.

"Sorry... I couldn’t hold back. Forgive my lapse..."

"Bitch..." Greenland hissed, turning away with a sneer. Her eyes still flicked back—part disgust, part curiosity about that sensation.

"Hmph. Admit your jealousy. You felt the Master’s aura too but couldn’t react *naturally*... pitiful."

"What did you say?!" Greenland’s gun hand trembled; her other gripped a flintlock at her waist.

"What do you think I meant? Heh..." Purames’ face twisted. Icy gauntlets encased his fists, scales creeping across his skin.

"Enough," Silk cut in. "The Master’s orders stand. Instead of wasting time brawling, let’s plan how to complete his task."

"Right! Utter nonsense..." Silver Lock tugged Golden Key’s hair.

"Ahh—! Stop! The Master’s mission comes first... ah~!" Golden Key whimpered.

Greenland holstered her flintlock. Purames’ scales receded; his gauntlets melted away like ice.

"Greenland. We’ll settle this later. For now—your plan."

"Fine. Anytime. Let’s hear that ‘mastermind’ strategy of yours, Purames."

They huddled close, plotting the sea reconnaissance.