Chapter 36: Stay Calm! Anyway, Let’s Find the Time Machine First!

I was deeply unhappy. My meticulously crafted plan hadn’t achieved the desired effect, and my gloom was beyond words. To make matters worse, all the gifts and luggage, along with the officials and soldiers, only delivered to the gate. They claimed it was inconvenient to disturb Lord Joseph’s peaceful cultivation, leaving the trouble to young master Klath. It was obvious they wanted to see me make a fool of myself! Damn it, can’t you enter the manor? How did you bring things in previous years? Did you just dump them at the gate and let the princess carry them herself?

Want to see me make a fool of myself? I pulled out the obsolete ‘Overlord’s Might’ wristguard from my pocket and easily lifted the two heavy bags of luggage and gifts. Step by step, I made my way back to the villa inside the manor.

Watching Komor chatting happily with Monaluna, I thought to myself: Forget it. I had originally planned to support Her Highness the princess in her struggle against the Crown Prince, but it seemed hopeless now. Well, after all, she was just a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl. It wasn’t right to make her do dirty work. It was better for her to be happy. At most, it would just be a bit more trouble for me.

“Klath, come help me carry the dishes!” Helle called from the kitchen.

“Coming, coming!” I put down the luggage and jogged to the kitchen. I took the dishes from Helle’s hands and gave them a sniff. Wow, it smelled amazing!

“Helle, wow, today’s dishes look really delicious!”

“What? Aren’t they delicious on ordinary days?” Helle pretended to be angry.

“Of course not~ Your cooking gets better every day.”

“Hurry and take them out. Don’t sneak any on the way!”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. I won’t eat much, hehe.”

Carrying the dishes to the dining room, the two girls, who were chatting animatedly, were instantly drawn by the aroma. They obediently sat down at the table.

“Helle’s cooking gets better every year. Even the royal chefs in the palace can’t match her dishes,” Komor remarked, wiggling her delicate little nose.

“Thank you for your praise, Your Highness. Actually, it’s because you’re used to the exotic delicacies of the palace that you enjoy these simple home-cooked meals from the small town. I’m still far from the palace chefs,” Helle replied politely as she came out of the kitchen with more dishes. She turned to me and said, “All the dishes are ready. Go call little Bobo and the master for dinner.”

“Oh, aren’t we calling Cindira?”

“Miss Cindira is bathing upstairs. She might come down soon. She told me to start without her.”

“Ahem, um, I forgot something upstairs. You all start eating; I’ll go look for it,” the princess suddenly stood up and headed towards the stairs.

“You! High! Ness! I remember you haven’t been upstairs since arriving at the manor, right?” I called out with a frown, stopping her.

“...Something I forgot last year doesn’t count?”

“Huh?”

“Tch!” The princess obediently sat back down.

“Ahem, um, I forgot something upstairs. You all start eating; I’ll go look for it,” I stood up and prepared to head upstairs.

“Klath!” Helle stared at me expressionlessly. “Go call the master and little Bobo now!”

“Tch!” I sat back down with obvious reluctance.

“How can you call them while sitting here?” Monaluna looked at me puzzled.

“Hmph, I have my ways.” As I spoke, I pulled a remote controller from my pocket. It looked like a car key from my past life, with only two or three buttons. I aimed it towards the Old Mage’s laboratory and pressed the off button.

Soon, the Old Mage rushed over anxiously. “Klath, Klath! The massage chair you gave me is broken! It’s not moving! Fix it quickly!”

“What’s the rush? I turned it off,” I waved the remote in my hand. “It’s dinner time.”

“Don’t fool me! Fix it now!”

“Still don’t believe me?” I used the remote to turn the massage chair back on. Then I said to the Old Mage, “Feel it. Can you sense the magic fluctuations of the massage chair?”

“Huh? It really is! You’ve invented something new again? Why didn’t you report it to me?”

“Sure, I’ll report it to you, master, if you can score above sixty on the next unit test,” I looked at him speechlessly. Telling you wouldn’t make sense anyway!

“Hmph! I disdain those useless test questions.” Though he spoke tough words, the Old Mage stopped fussing over the new technology and sat at the head of the table.

Seeing the Old Mage seated, I pulled another remote controller from my pocket. It had a joystick, shaped and functioning like a remote control plane from my past life. I turned it on and started twisting the joystick back and forth. Soon, Deep Blue Heart smoothly brought little Bobo to the dining table.

“Brother! Ball isn’t listening to Bobo anymore. It moves on its own!”

“Hehe, if you don’t eat on time and behave, Ball won’t play with you anymore!”

“No! Bobo will eat nicely. Bobo is a good kid.”

“Wow, you’re all seated already!” Cindira came down from the second floor, wiping her damp hair. “Looks like I’m not too late.”

The whole family gathered around the table and began to eat. I looked around the table, my heart filled with immense happiness. It felt like I was back in my childhood, with my family around the table, eating hot pot and watching the Spring Festival Gala. Everyone was chatting and laughing, sharing kind-hearted jokes. Those were my happiest days. Sadly, it’s all gone. I must cherish the present, Mashang! Don’t let anyone take them away again.

“Master, I brought some fruit wine you like from the palace. I’ll get it for you now.”

“Oh haha, good! Little Mashang, dare to drink with me?”

“Tch~ Master, my drinking capacity isn’t bragging. I can handle three and a half jin of baijiu, beer unlimited. They call me ‘Ma Jing Street’ in Fanhong Lane near the North Gate. Fruit wine isn’t strong enough. Bring out the strong liquor if you dare.” A man never yields in bed or surrenders in drink! How could I fear you?

“Good, Komor, bring the strong liquor. I’m in a good mood today; I’ll drink a couple of cups with this brat.”

“Oh, okay, master.” Komor was still quite respectful towards the Old Mage.

Two bottles of strong liquor were placed on the table. I opened one and took a sniff. A pungent aroma hit me. Good wine! Strong enough! Worthy of imperial wine.

“Anyone else want to drink?”

“I can’t drink. I get dizzy with just a sip,” Monaluna waved her hands repeatedly.

“I won’t drink either. I need to clean the table later,” Helle also declined.

“Bobo won’t drink either. Wine is the worst. That time daddy tricked me into drinking, my tongue hurt for so long! Bad daddy!” Little Bobo pouted unhappily.

“My family has an ancient rule against casual drinking, so I won’t drink either,” Cindira shook her head.

“No one’s drinking?! Only the old man and this brat drinking isn’t fun! Come, Komor, drink with us?”

“Yes, master!” Perhaps because she hadn’t received kind treatment from the Old Mage for so long, the princess suddenly couldn’t refuse.

“Come, come, let me fill your glasses!” I snatched the wine bottle. Heh, control of the bottle determines your say at the drinking table.

“Haha, come! I’ll drink a few more cups with my two disciples today!”

“Yes, master, Komor toasts to you!”

Ah~ my head hurts! How did I get drunk after just a little? It shouldn’t be. When I was little, Butcher Zhang often dragged me to drink with him. That was bulk liquor straight from the distillery, much stronger than store-bought. I built up a tolerance from childhood. Why am I drunk from so little today? Is it because I’m back at age 14? My alcohol tolerance has seriously decreased.

Lying on the bed, I rubbed my face and struggled to sit up. Accidentally, I touched something soft and fluffy. I quickly pulled my hand back. What’s going on? When did Cindira come?

Seriously, I’m drunk. Can’t I have a day off? Even a cuddle bear has rights; at least give me bear rights! But from the feel just now, did Cindira’s bust shrink? It felt like it could be grabbed with one hand? And it was softer. As a warrior, Cindira’s should feel firm and elastic, but just now it was like cotton?

“Creak~” The window opened, and a figure pounced on me in bed. Seeing Cindira pouncing towards me, my mind went blank.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!”

“Yahhhhhhhh!”

Two shrill female screams pierced the air, shattering my last shred of hope.

“Thump thump thump!” The sound of running upstairs. The door opened, and the light was turned on. Helle and Monaluna, in pajamas, stared dumbfounded at the three people in the room.

“Why are you here?” Cindira, wearing only underwear, pointed at the girl on my bed, who was Komor.

“Hmph! I knew you’d be here!” Helle, expressionless, sneered at Cindira.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cindira turned away.

“Why are you both here?” Monaluna was clearly on the verge of exploding.

“Miss Cindira, next time after climbing through the window, remember to wipe off the dirt. Otherwise, it’s troublesome for me to clean up!” Helle continued to stare expressionlessly at Cindira.

“I—I actually slept in the same bed as a man? Sob sob, I’m going to get pregnant? Hehe, I’ll be a mom?” Komor added to the chaos, breaking down.

“Your Highness, are you okay?” Monaluna came to the bed and held the princess’s hand.

“I like to take walks through windows. Is that not allowed?” Cindira refused to admit it.

“Nana, what should I name my first child?”

“Heh, taking a walk in your underwear? Miss Cindira sure has interesting hobbies.”

“Your Highness, just sleeping together won’t make you pregnant!”

“Hah? I won’t explain to a mere maid!”

“I’ve already decided. If it’s a boy, call him Komi; if a girl, Kora. Nana, does that sound good?”

“You’re just a freeloader, Miss Cindira, how dare you say that!”

“Enough!!!” I took a deep breath and shouted loudly. Instantly, it had a silencing effect. The four beauties looked at me, sitting upright in the middle of the bed. Fueled by alcohol, I mustered my courage to scold these little girls: “Stay calm in crises! Look at each of you—aren’t you ashamed? How can you build a socialist new countryside like this?” I looked around; each was stunned by me. I tightened the buttons of my pajamas and fixed my hair. “Stay calm! Anyway, let’s find the time machine first!” With that, I dove into the drawer of the bedside table. It must be there! Time machine!

“Die!” The four beauties surprisingly united, pinned me down, and gave me a good beating. My last thought before losing consciousness was: Ah! A long-lost fainting!