The guest room soaked in hush, black space twined with white daylight like ink tangled with silk. Hedi crossed her legs and gazed into the dark at Selina, emotions waking under heavy ornaments of guilt. She’d already lived through her sister leaving, and I still—what a cruel thing I did.
Hedi let out a long sigh, then watched Selina with a care sharper than ever. Once lively, she now looked wilted like a flower after rain. Her bright eyes wore a misted film, a fogged lens that didn’t spill; at her mouth’s small dimples, a mix of saliva, sniffles, and tears pooled, a briny sadness that tugged the heart.
Selina mumbled, and tears pattered into the food like soft rain. From her look, the tears weren’t built by pain; they’d already pooled, and each blink let them fall.
“What?” Hedi tilted her head, ear leaning in.
“You... came back...”
“I said I wouldn’t abandon you.”
“Mm...”
Hedi took the tray and fed Selina small, careful bites.
For a while she kept that tender look, until the food ran low. She set down the spoon as if the strength had drained from her limbs, burrowed gently into Selina’s arms, and murmured, “No more hunger strikes.”
“Then I’ll smash things.”
“You want to pay damages?”
Selina shook her head, words slurred. “It’s still my fault. I said so much to you...”
“Write a self-criticism.”
“It’s clearly your fault!” Selina bit Hedi’s small earlobe, a little wolf with its teeth on a peach. “You left me and walked away!”
“You read me too clean; shame pinned me hard. I wanted to say I’d be back once it was done, but the words stuck.” Hedi pressed her lips to Selina’s cheek. “I won’t do it again.”
“If I go with you, will you still come back?”
“Well—” Hedi felt Selina’s bite tighten. “Ow!”
“You definitely wouldn’t come back!”
“The outcome’s fine, so... turn the page, okay?”
Selina shook her head, stubborn as a winter tree. “First time means second time. I’ll keep striking!”
“If you want to vent at me, switch the method.”
“What else can I do?”
“Swear at me?”
“I’m not that vulgar.”
Hedi licked her lips and gave a helpless smile. “A hunger strike’s cruder, like a brat with no sense. You’re nineteen and still sulking this way.”
“I’ll sulk, and I’ll watch your regret, savor it like honey!”
“A neat mutual ruin.”
Selina chuckled, then thought aloud. “If something happened to me, what would you do?”
“Put your things in a little box.”
“And then?”
“Live how I should.”
“That’s all?”
Hedi searched her face. “You want me to die for you?”
“Doesn’t sound like you.”
“Of course not. I cherish my body.”
“Hmm~~” Selina heard the echo beneath the words, pinched Hedi’s cheek. “The hunger strike is because of you!”
“Then change the method.”
“What else... I got it!”
Hedi opened her mouth to ask, when a chill swept in—skin under cloth kissed by cold air. Heat followed like a sunrise: Selina’s hands sliding, warm palms roaming up and down her body like currents.
“Wait.” Heat bloomed in Hedi’s cheeks. Fingers teased at tangled roots, then slipped into a scenic grove. Each small advance shook her like wind through trees. Her body answered, and shame rose like a red tide. “Didn’t you hear me? I told you—”
Hedi arched her back, fighting the strange sound pounding at her throat.
“Have you eaten?” A nun walked into the guest room, saw the empty tray on the nightstand, and nodded in quiet approval. “You must eat well, don’t make things hard for yourself.”
“She already... aha... calmed down...”
“You must treat your companion better. Walking off without a word only causes trouble for the Sacred Cathedral.”
“O-okay...”
The nun glanced at Hedi. The dark and the distance blurred the picture; she could only make out Hedi sitting in Selina’s arms, her body shaking now and then like a leaf in a draft.
“Are you cold?” the nun asked. “Do you need a padded coat?”
“N-no need...”
“Suit yourself, but since you’re back, confinement continues.”
Hedi wriggled the slightest bit, trying to escape the hand exploring the grove. The fingers acted like unruly little animals, stubbornly pushing upward, seeking the grove’s hidden heart in one breath.
“Ah... aha... don’t!”
“What did you say?!” The nun stopped at the door, her eyes clouding with thunder, anger pressing down on Hedi like a storm front. “The Holy Maiden not only let you leave the Sacred Cathedral, she’s caring for your companion—that’s mercy to the brink! Do you even know what hasty release from confinement will stir up among the townsfolk?”
Hedi pressed her lips tight, crushing the breath that surged up her throat, her face twisted by restraint. In the room, there was only rapid breathing and the glug-glug slap of fingers on wetness. When control broke, Hedi curled in on herself and left a damp stain on the bed like a dark petal.
“You two... heh, no wonder you travel together.” The nun felt oddly outside the scene, unable to read Hedi’s motions. “One tosses magic like dice; the other cried like she was dying, and now acts fine. Both... rare-grade... nerves...”
“I’ll take the Professor to the confinement room,” Selina promised. “Don’t worry.”
“And thank the Holy Maiden.”
“No problem!”
“You thank her too!”
“We’ll do it together.”
Selina watched the nun leave, then set Hedi’s soft body like a puppet in her lap and warned, “No getting mad! You told me to switch methods!”
“I didn’t tell you—stop it!”
“I’m not done being angry.”
“This is the Sacred Cathedral. As a believer—” Hedi felt a flash-fast jolt; saliva slipped from her lip and traced her jaw like a cold river. “I’m... I’m about to—”
“You’re doubting my doctrine!”
“Your messy trash religion—let it burn!”
“You said it!”
Hedi clenched her teeth and fought the wave that surged through her like a storm tide. After only minutes, she felt her balance drain like sand from an hourglass, and at last her knees gave.
“I... I surrender! I respect your doctrine!”
“But I’m still mad.”
“Living with a little resentment is a required course for humans!”
“When you put it like that—” Selina looked at poor, trembling Hedi. “Fine.”
“I want... a drink of water...”
Selina searched the room and lifted the cup by the tray. “You fed me; I’ll feed you.”
“Ah... wait... not that mouth! Sss... so cold! I really will punch you!”
