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Chapter 42: It Still Hurts a Little, Doesn’t It?
update icon Updated at 2026/1/11 2:00:03

Hedi cut back into the institute lobby, her head still glazed with that odd numbness anger leaves behind, like frost on glass.

Inside the glass hoods, the monsters hushed and held their breath, like depressed lambs closing their eyes in unison. Any conscious thing fell silent as she passed, fearing anger stirring the crowded air like a storm in a jar.

Monsters sense emotion, and through it they link to the Dark Realm, like roots touching underground water.

From one angle, responding to emotion shows a measure of mind and grasp. But calling it reason is hasty. We still need to watch how they handle information, make choices, and adapt to the shifting weather of their cages.

Emotion isn’t reason’s enemy; in higher beings they braid, twin currents driving the body like wind filling a sail.

Like that slap I dealt Evelyn—emotion can buck the rider. What matters is the next breath, when the surge ebbs and reason opens the act like a shell.

This is how we test if the monsters truly carry a flame of reason.

They’re locked in glass cages. They suffer cruel prods from Evelyn or other Investigators, to prove emotion’s tether to the Dark Realm. They twitch like Pavlov’s dogs, spasm on reflex like wires jolted.

Without instruments of pain, do they go dull for lack of sparks, or rip forward on raw instinct like a storm?

Either way, both guesses bend toward monsters having emotion, like two paths curving to one fire.

But that isn’t the knot I must untie. The urgent thing is scrubbing away the Dark Realm Erosion, like removing a stain from bone.

Following that trail, the headache from Dark Realm Erosion is an external stimulus too. It pricks like a thorn under skin.

Yes—like a nail tapping bone.

The institute’s use of instruments on monsters fits that logic. They stand in for the fading ache, a surrogate sting, like a brand pressed on cold iron.

I know that bite; the pain thins quickly, like fog burned off by a pale sun.

Distance breaks the circuit; it can’t keep the sting steady, like a flickering wire.

Tools can’t truly mimic it. They rely on raw bodily pain, a short bridge to the Dark Realm, a span that shivers and drops.

Otherwise, their magic wouldn’t dull from its native power, wouldn’t fade like ink in rain.

If that holds, Olivia’s torment in the Dark Realm ramps each hour, each minute, like a tightening vise. In that state she still set Selina and me free. That makes her a subject worth studying, like a rare star in cloud.

Hedi re-tied her ponytail and listened to Evelyn’s footsteps tapping behind her, like pebbles dropped in a shallow stream. The fury foaming in her chest settled a little, like waves heard through a wall.

At the end of this partnership, the mess was hers to swallow, her own doing, like a bitter brew she cooked. Every talk found a way to needle me, like splinters under a fingernail.

But tearing open Dark Realm Erosion from scratch isn’t easy, like prying rock with a spoon. I’m not good at research. With no footprints to follow, I must grope out my own theory and frame. Coax a barren mindfield to sprout, then rise into a canopy that hides the sky. The task looms like a mountain.

All told, think on it, then breathe, like counting beads.

No way I keep working with the institute, especially with Stratford as vice dean, like a cold statue at the gate. Dislike should be allowed to exist, like a shadow at noon. But dislike won’t ferment into joy just because it sits there. Keep distance to keep peace, like closing a window against rough wind.

“Professor!”

Hedi looked at the bored Selina, easing the heaviness in her chest like loosening a knot. “Been waiting long?”

“Not sure. Waiting made me a little drowsy, like dust settling.”

“Mm... let’s go,” she said, like stepping out of stale air.

“Selina.” Evelyn’s voice came soft. After a beat, her lips curled cold as a thin blade. “Melvina has ended our cooperation. We return to the institute at once.”

Selina stopped in shock. A faint nervous tic skated across her face, like a ripple on ice.

Hedi stood by the door and fixed on Evelyn, then let her gaze step back in order. First, the restroom door on the right, and a small lamp glowing white, like a pearl. Then inward, the way a lake freezes from the edges toward the heart. In the center sat Selina, but only her round back-of-head, no expression, like a moon turned away.

“So sudden...” Selina’s tone sat neither high nor low, yet it scraped a little. It was as if her cords had startled tiny grains on them. “Didn’t you say the Professor’s arrival would speed the research?”

“I’m not the one who ended it.”

Selina turned and looked at Hedi with deep dismay, like rain on coals. “You don’t want to work with us?”

“I just won’t work with her,” Hedi corrected, voice flat as slate. “If I hadn’t caught it, you might not have waited long enough to see me walk out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your vice dean tried to seize my body with magic,” she said, like a hand closing on a throat.

Evelyn cut in at that moment. “I was helping you calm down.”

“Slapping you did calm me quite a bit,” Hedi said, like a cold towel on a fever.

“You fought at the institute?” Selina pushed to keep up, like chasing a kite. “Weren’t you fine when you arrived?”

“She wanted to throw me in with your sister—”

“Mind your tongue, Melvina. Selina’s level isn’t cleared for that information.”

“Tell her nothing, use her only as a bridge between me and the institute? Even so, what you tried to do to me decided the end. You ruined the cooperation with your own hands!”

“Fine.” Evelyn nodded, folding like paper. “I’ll assign other Investigators to work with you. Will that win you back?”

“I don’t trust you. I don’t trust the other Investigators either,” Hedi said, like shutting a door.

“Including Selina?”

“If she stands on your side... then yes, she’s included.”

Hedi looked at Selina, like a lamp turning toward a pale wall. Selina stood steady, yet her face was whiter than paper. Her lips had withered, like a rose drained dry and veined with ugly lines. Shadows on her cheeks made her cheekbones look higher, like cliffs under cloud.

That line forces Selina to pick a side. I can’t help it. Accepting Stratford’s other Investigators would put me on thin ice. Yet she actually softened—maybe she feared I’d truly refuse to cooperate?

But—

Hedi saw Selina fall silent, her lids lowered, gazing at the irregular floor stains like small islands. “You entered the institute to find your sister.”

“Professor... it’s not like that...”

“It’s fine. I won’t get angry,” Hedi said, like smoothing waves with a palm.

Hedi left the institute and walked home through the snow, like a small boat in white surf. She popped open her umbrella. Her other hand hid in her pocket, clenching and loosening, like rehab for a body freezing over. The pure black canopy gave her a shadow hard to name, like ink poured over noon. Hedi kept the motion and lifted her head, listening as wind shuffled the snow, like pages turning.

“Professor! Wait for me!”

“Even if you invite me, I won’t keep working with Stratford,” Hedi said, like snapping a brittle twig.

“No.” Selina shook her head like a loose bell. “You and my sister—I don’t want to give up either.”

“Mm,” she murmured, like a stone dropping in a still pond.

“Just ‘mm’...?” Selina asked, like a sparrow pecking at a window.

“What else do you want me to say?” Hedi replied, like a blade kept in its sheath.

Selina looked about to cry, panic quickening her breath like a drum. “I handed the vice dean my resignation. See? I even took off my Investigator badge!”

“Mm,” Hedi said, like a soft hinge closing.

“Please don’t speak like that. I’m so scared!” she cried, like a candle guttering in wind.

Hedi stayed silent for a long breath, like snow thickening. Only the white breath from her mouth drifted upward and vanished, like a ghost blinking out.

She said she’d help me; when a choice arrived, she wavered like grass in wind!

“Please don’t be mad,” Selina pleaded, like offering both hands.

“I’m not angry. I won’t be angry. Why would I be?” Hedi’s voice stayed cool as stone. “Do I look to you like a temper that ignites and explodes?”

“No... I...”

Selina was mortified, jolted by the rapid-fire questions like a whip crack. She couldn’t squeeze out a word.

Hedi’s shoulders dropped, and she kept toward home, footfalls quiet as ash. Beside her came little sniffles now and then. She watched snow settle on Selina’s shoulder, and the wet sheen on her hair, like night threads.

“Get under the umbrella,” Hedi said, like opening a small harbor.

“Me?” Selina blinked, like a rabbit at the hedge.

“Less chatter. I don’t want to blow-dry your hair,” Hedi said, words crisp as cold.

“Pro... Professor...” Her voice trembled like a thin reed.

Selina’s face had frozen stiff in the wind and snow. Only her lips quivered, barely. Tears that had been hiccupping in her heart finally spilled out, slow at first, then sudden and swift. Her chest rose and fell with sobs, like an immovable pain lifting off her heart.