“Hahaha. Didn’t expect you to get tangled like weeds over something this small.”

Zero clapped Eli’s shoulder, palm thumping like a friendly drum. “You’re still too young for this season.”

Eli shrugged, like a cat flicking water, and kept his face blank while his thoughts curled like smoke. He wondered what trick this guy would play.

Zero looked him up and down, gaze circling like a hawk, then a soft, far-off look drifted over him like mist. He frowned. “Boy, have you had a dream—one on the subtle side?”

Eli blinked, lids snapping like shutters. “Huh?”

Zero: “...”

Eli: “...”

Zero scowled, like thunder gathering in a teapot. “So did you or not have that kind of dream?”

Eli scratched his head, fingers raking like comb teeth. Why did this guy suddenly go nuts?

“What do you mean by ‘subtle’?”

Zero narrowed his eyes and stared without blinking, gaze pressing like a blade. He paced a circle around Eli like a cat around prey, then clicked his tongue. “Weird. What’s with that reaction? You really haven’t?”

“Uh.” Eli thought a moment, then nodded, slow as dew sliding down a leaf.

Zero frowned deeper, brows knotting like twigs. “Then… maybe I should phrase it differently.”

“Go on.”

“It’s…”

“Mm?”

“Have you had any wet dreams lately?” Zero suddenly barked, voice cracking like a whip.

Eli sprang away like a startled hare, dashed aside, and scrubbed his ears as if washing river stones. He roared, “Goddamn! You drinking bootleg swill?”

“Answer the question, brat.” Zero stretched lazily, spine rolling like a cat in sunlight.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve had one. So what?” Eli’s tone grated like sand.

What was this, a creepy old guy teasing a pretty boy under lantern light?

“Then at first you couldn’t remember that dream at all.” Zero leaned in, eyes bright like a child spotting a toy. “And now, all you recall is the scene of that wet dream, right?”

Eli froze, then edged back like a crab, staring at Zero as if at a rare beast. “Old pervert, what’s got you so worked up?”

Zero noticed his slip, coughed twice, trying to sound profound, each cough a small drumbeat. “Ahem. Young man, I’m reading your fate. Cooperate, will you? So annoying.”

Eli arched a brow and drifted farther, distance stretching like riverbank to riverbank. Damn, this ancient pervert was even putting on cutesy airs.

Eli: “Achoo!”

Zero: “Achoo!”

Yiyi, in the avatar space: “Achoo!?”

“Huh?” x3

Zero scratched his nose, nail tracing like a twig. “I’m talking to you, young man. Why so rude?”

Eli flipped through his memory, pages rustling like leaves. It did match what Zero said, so he nodded. “Fine, old charlatan, you’re right.”

Zero nodded, satisfied, head dipping like a reed in wind. Then he said, “Kid, learn swordsmanship with me.”

Eli raised a brow. “Huh? Learn sword my ass. I’m a mage.”

Zero couldn’t hold back, words rapping like hail. “You almost never blast people head-on. You grab an enchanted sword and go chop. What kind of mage is that?”

Eli glared, eyes round as coins. “Never heard it? Every mage’s got a melee heart. Meet the right opponent, and you play up close. What’s the big deal?”

Zero stared right back, gaze flat as a lake. “You’re full of it.”

While they were trading glares like flint and steel, Eli suddenly caught something, thought flashing like a fish. “Hey, old pervert, how do you even know all that?”

“I—I know astronomy above and geography below.” Zero puffed himself up like a rooster. “I’m omniscient, omnipotent, I—”

“Alright, alright, you’re full of it too.” Eli dug at his ear, lazy as dawn smoke. “Tell me who you are, or I’ll drop a full skill combo and squash you.”

Zero blinked, then smiled, lips curving like a crescent. “I’m afraid if I told you, you’d die of fright on the spot.”

“Oh? You the Jade Emperor, or the Tathagata? Worst case, are you God?” Eli grinned, grin sharp as a knife.

Zero fell silent. “...Seems there’s a slight deviation. Do you know who those three even are?”

“Of course I do. They’re—uh?” Eli frowned, thoughts snagging like thread on a nail. He’d rattled them off from habit, but when he reached for the details, they were smoke.

Zero sighed, breath drifting like a long cloud. Forget it. He had other things to do; tiny differences would be sanded down by time.

“Enough. Stop digging.” Zero cut in, voice clean as a blade. “You could hollow your skull and still pull up nothing.”

Eli looked at him with disdain, gaze cool as slate. “Why are you so vulgar? Every other word is swearing.”

Zero ignored him and pressed on. “Just answer—do you want to learn swordsmanship or not?”

Eli frowned, lines tightening like strings. “You shoving free experience at me out of nowhere? I’m not used to that. In my life, freebies hide traps like thorns under petals. What do you want?”

Zero’s brows knitted again, knot firm as rope. “Answer the question, kid.”

Eli tipped his head, teasing like a crow on a branch. “Oh, big temper. I refuse. What can you do to me?”

Zero flipped his hand, and a water-blue magic circle bloomed like a cold lotus. From it surged a shockwave packed with power, roaring at Eli like a tide.

Eli lifted a brow. “You proud of that puny thing?”

He tapped his heel, and a golden barrier unfolded around him like a sunlit shell.

The purest spell shield, bright as dawn, enough to block most magical impacts.

The next second, the water-blue wave smacked him and sent him flying like a leaf in storm.

He crashed through several trees, wood exploding like spray, and slammed into a boulder. Darkness folded over him like a cloak.

Just before he blacked out, he muttered, breath thin as frost. “F— this guy used magic to summon Battle Aura.”

..................................................

Some time later, by a river, Eli drifted awake, eyes opening like slow morning. “Where… is this?”

Zero smiled, calm as tea steam. “Welcome to my Sword Secret Realm, young man. Call me Zero. I’m your training mentor. Time flows differently here, like a hidden current. I guarantee that when you leave, no more than two days will pass outside.”

Eli: “..................”

Zero clicked his tongue, sound sharp as a pebble on glass. “Say something. Show a little attitude. Did fear freeze you?”

Eli frowned, lines deepening like carved wood. “This place… feels a tiny bit familiar.”

Zero: “.................. Spare me. You could brag a hole in the sky.”

“The scenery’s fine,” Eli said, gaze skimming like a dragonfly, “but it feels off.”

“I swear to your grandpa, can you listen properly?” Zero’s temper flared like sparks.

“Old man, why’re you so intent on making me learn sword?” Eli glanced at the irritable Zero, puzzlement drifting like fog. “You must have a purpose. Pulling this stunt makes me uneasy.”

“And I don’t even know your name.” His words spilled like beads from a string. “You showed your strength; I get you’re strong as hell. But you can’t just ignore people’s feelings.”

“As the saying goes, people are born of people, demons are born of demons.” Eli wagged a finger like a reed. “Human or ghost, I won’t discriminate. Why the mask?”

Zero: “...”

“Judging by your exposed jaw, you’re not that ugly.” Eli peered like a tailor. “Maybe not as handsome as me, but still decent. Why sneak around in a mask?”

Zero: “....”

“Oh! I get it. You’re disfigured, right?” Eli snapped his fingers, bright as flint. “Don’t worry. With your power, a little adjustment and you’ll look fine.”

He sat right down, posture casual as a cat on a warm stone. “Also, you don’t seem to care for maintenance. Look at this so-called Sword Secret Realm—can’t see a single sword. What kind of ‘sword’ realm is that? Your naming sense needs work.”

Zero silently drew a purple crystal from his robe, its facets gleaming like frozen lightning, and watched Eli babble without a word.

“So it’s true,” Zero sighed, breath thin as a reed. “Too much talk really is annoying.”

“Hey, are you even listening?” Eli took a bottle from his personal space and drank, calm as moonlight on water. “This realm’s environment isn’t great. How about you send me back, and I’ll find you a better designer?”

“Man, talking that much dried my throat.”

Zero smiled, eyes crinkling like paper. “Even a Sacred Rank needs water?”

Eli smiled back, grin quick as a flicked card. “Later!”

Water dripped from his flask and ate into the rock like acid, carving a hole. Eli laughed. “Special liquid for breaking unique spaces. Next time you kidnap someone, confiscate this stuff. I’m out!”

He tossed the flask and dove for the hole like a swallow. Zero only watched him, smiling, voice smooth as a stream. “You’re like a kid crawling through mud. You think you know, but you don’t.”

Eli slammed onto a floor, impact dull as a drum. He stared around, baffled, confusion swarming like gnats. “Space is rippling, so why… why didn’t it corrode?”

Zero saw Eli’s stunned face and shook his head with a chuckle, smile warm as dusk. “Still young.”

He weighed the purple crystal in his palm, light winking like a star. “In the end, you still need this.”

Zero didn’t even shift his stance. In the next blink, he flashed to Eli’s front like lightning behind silk. The violet crystal rested in his palm, and—before Eli’s bewildered eyes—Zero pressed it to Eli’s forehead with a clean slap.

“Some things,” Zero said, voice mild as rain, “you have to feel yourself.”

White light wrapped Eli like snowfall, and for once a thin drowsiness drifted over him like fog.

He frowned. “Wait… this feel… a Memory Crystal?!”

Zero nodded, small as a nodding reed.

Eli forced his eyes open, pupils bright as embers. “Who the hell are you?”

Zero shrugged, light as a cloud. “Finish reading this memory, then we’ll talk in detail. Right now, questioning me is the wrong path.”

Eli exhaled, breath steady as a thread, and sat cross-legged. He began to draw in the crystal’s memory like tea through a sieve.