“Doraemon, save meee!”

From the princess’s bedroom came Aya’s drawn-out cry for help.

“Get lost, I’m not some blue chubby ball with stubby limbs!”

Princess Tiran, who’d been lounging on the cushions reading a manga, got her thigh suddenly hugged by Aya and was so startled she bumped the teacup beside her. Some of the white peach oolong spilled out, and her reflex kick sent Aya flying.

“Aya, what the hell are you—uh, what’s wrong with you?”

Tiran’s initial shock and anger faded when she saw Aya roll three meters away like a spring-loaded toy, then bounce up, looking like she’d suffered a cosmic injustice—full-on crying kitty face.jpg.

“Uwaaa, Lady Tiran, your head maid is way too scary!”

As if finally finding a place to vent, Aya frantically poured out all the “torture” she’d gone through that day, plus a detailed complaint about Miss Mimi’s unreasonable stalking and surveillance.

Worst part was, she’d ranted so much with righteous fury, but when she glanced back at Lady Tiran… why did she look like she was enjoying a bedtime story?

“Ah, sorry, sorry, I got really into it…”

“So you ‘got into it’ and still had time to sip your tea?!”

“Relax, relax. Look on the bright side: at least Mimi isn’t going after you directly right now.”

“But my fragile little heart is in pieces!” Aya hammered the floor in rage. “And just because she’s not doing anything now doesn’t mean she won’t later! What if she slips some deadly poison into my food one day and I just drop dead on the spot?”

“Fragile little heart… Aya, you can actually say that with a straight face now. You’ve grown.”

Tiran nodded in satisfaction. Also, weren’t her priorities a bit off?

“…Didn’t I learn this from you?” Aya covered her face. She honestly didn’t know if her parents, seeing what she’d become, would sigh like Lady Tiran or just go, “This child is a lost cause.”

“Mhm. As expected of this lady’s personal mount.” Tiran patted Aya on the head, very pleased.

“I am not a mount!”

“Wife?”

“You really locked onto that, huh…” Aya sighed helplessly.

“Mm, then… h-husband?”

The moment she said the word, Tiran’s cheeks flushed a little. Her head dipped down on reflex, then she snuck a glance at Aya.

This—this jolt straight to the heart? Was this the legendary power of word magic? Aya clutched her chest like she’d been shot, but happiness still bubbled up uncontrollably inside.

“No, wait! Focus! What about Mimi?! If this keeps going, I swear it’s gonna end with me getting blasted by some anti-Dragon cannon the moment I step out one morning, or keeling over at the dinner table!”

Aya shook her head hard, slapped the table, and raised her voice.

“Oh? Will it?”

“If that’s true, then may the dark gods bless us.”

Out of nowhere, Mimi’s voice sounded from behind them.

“Uwaaah!”

Aya shrieked, rolled sideways in one smooth motion, and dove behind Tiran. She raised both arms into some kind of Eastern martial arts stance, staring at Mimi warily, then whispered at Tiran in terror, “See?! I told you it’d be like this!”

“I just came to bring Her Highness her bedtime milk. What are you even talking about?”

Mimi, looking like she genuinely had no idea what Aya was going on about, set a steaming cup of milk on the table in front of Tiran.

“Liar! I’m telling you, I won’t believe a single word that comes out of your mouth!” Aya let out a low growl and bared her teeth like a tiny beast.

Mimi gave her a meaningful look, shrugged, then bowed to Tiran and left.

“Did you see that? There was murder in her eyes just now!” Aya stood behind Tiran, shaking her shoulders.

“Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid…”

Tiran picked up the milk and gently tested the temperature with the tip of her tongue. As expected of Mimi, the warmth was perfect—nice and hot, but not scalding.

“Believe me! If she really didn’t have it in for me, how could she do something like that in the first place?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll help you think of something, alright?”

Aya was shaking her so much Tiran couldn’t even drink her milk properly, so she just agreed casually, then took advantage of the moment Aya let go to drain the whole cup in one go, nearly choking herself.

“Alright! Time to fix your little problem.”

Tiran set the cup down, then licked off the bit of milk clinging to her lip before speaking to Aya.

“Mm!” Aya looked at her full of expectation.

“First, let’s assume Mimi is actually hostile toward you. And not just a little—like, she really wants you dead.”

“Mm.” Aya nodded.

“Then we’ve got two basic options. One: clear up the misunderstanding and make her drop the whole ‘kill Aya’ idea.”

“Yes!” Aya nodded repeatedly.

“Two: get rid of her. If you can’t solve the problem, solve the one who caused it.”

“Hold up, something’s seriously wrong with that second half! Are you planning to get rid of Mimi or get rid of me?!”

“Ahem. That part’s not important.”

Tiran faked a couple coughs—or maybe not so fake, since almost choking didn’t feel great. “Let’s look at the first option first…”

She suddenly fell silent, then gave Aya a complicated look. “Actually, maybe we should consider the second option directly.”

“Why?”

“Going by what you said, Mimi wants to know exactly what we did in Lokin, right? But once she finds out, wouldn’t she want you dead even more…”

“…That kinda makes sense.” Aya nodded.

“So, let’s consider how to deal with Mimi—”

“Stop right there! You’re not seriously thinking about killing her, are you?”

Aya cut her off in a panic, looking at Tiran like she’d never seen her before. If Tiran was really the type who’d casually suggest killing a loyal head maid over something like this, Aya would seriously have to reconsider how she treated her.

“What are you imagining?”

Tiran looked exasperated, then somehow produced a shiny collar from who-knows-where and showed a little devilish grin. “Look, this is the latest model from the magitech kingdom…”

“Put that away!”

Just the sight of it made Aya’s PTSD flare. “And where do you even get so many of those things?!”

“A beautiful girl has her channels… Anyway, don’t you think this’d be perfect? Once we put it on Mimi, she’ll be your physical slave…”

Tiran twirled a strand of hair around her finger, smiling adorably.

Physical slave, seriously?! So that’s how you saw me back then too, huh?

Aya shook her head so fast she was practically a rattle-drum. “Abs! O! Lutely! Not!”

“Tch, really?”

Tiran let out a huge, disappointed sigh. “I wanted to see the whole ‘dragon slayer turning into a Dragon’ scenario, you know.”

Nope. This woman was pure chaos. She just wanted to watch the world burn.

“Well, anyway, this lady was just making a suggestion.”

Tiran spread her hands. “There’s no way I’d actually do that to Mimi. She’s my number one favorite girl, after all… Second place is Coco, by the way.”

“No one cares about second place.” Aya rolled her eyes.

“No, no, some people do. Like Yuelun and Little Hat…”

“What about me?”

After hesitating a bit, Aya pointed at herself.

Tiran gave her a meaningful smile and raised a thumb. “Aya, you’re obviously my number one favorite boy.”

This woman really was too scummy. Aya didn’t even want to look at her.

“Anyway, that plan’s a bust. Is there really no way to make Mimi accept our relationship?” Aya was torn. She wasn’t that hopeless, was she?

“…If some random guy suddenly jumped out and confessed to me—super handsome, crazy strong, devoted only to me—what would you think?”

“I’d smash his head in… huh?”

Tiran shrugged. “See? You get it perfectly.”

“So there’s really nothing we can do?”

Aya was so distraught she started bonking her forehead on the floor. And this was just Mimi. If Tiran’s dad, His Majesty the War King, decided to pull the same stunt, she’d be in even deeper trouble.

“It’s not like there’s no way at all. But it mostly depends on you.”

After thinking for a bit, Tiran finally gave an answer.

“What do you mean, ‘depends on me’?” Aya was completely lost.

The princess just put on a mysterious face and changed the subject. Aya could only wait for that “tomorrow” she mentioned.

But, well… judging from Tiran’s entire history of “help,” Aya had a very bad feeling.

And so, the next night arrived.

Turned out, learning from history might not help every time, but if you had enough examples, something was bound to repeat.

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you!”

The clock’s pendulum ticked loudly in the room. On the table, three glasses of liquor sat; one was completely empty, the other two untouched.

The three people at the table had about as much energy left as the clear, burning liquid in those glasses.

Aya stared at Tiran, who was slumped on the sofa, breathing slow and even, and felt her mindset crack just a bit.

To be fair, Tiran’s original plan wasn’t bad: get Mimi drunk and make her spill her true feelings. At least then they’d know what she really thought of Aya—maybe it was all just talk.

The only problem was, Lady Tiran completely forgot that as a human, her alcohol tolerance was way lower than an Ifrit’s or a Dragon’s. In the end, she was the first one to go down.

And why did it have to be alcohol anyway?!

Didn’t alchemy have truth serums and stuff?!

At first the plan sounded flawless, but the more Aya thought about it, the more holes she saw.

Of course, the most urgent issue now was what to do about the current situation.

Crap, crap, crap. This is exactly the kind of thing I’m worst at dealing with. Sometimes punching it out is honestly so much easier.

Aya was just starting to seriously consider whether she should fight Mimi, winner gets to stay with Lady Tiran, when Mimi broke the silence first.

“Her Highness is sleeping quite soundly.”

Mimi’s gaze rested on Tiran, who was fast asleep on the sofa, her eyes incredibly gentle. “To deal with the trouble between the two of us, Her Highness must’ve gone through a lot of ideas, hasn’t she?”

“If you knew what kind of terrible ideas she came up with, you definitely wouldn’t be happy right now…”

Aya grumbled under her breath.