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Chapter 41: Actually, I am Just Scumbag!
update icon Updated at 2025/7/1 10:10:12

Because of Green's overly jumping thoughts, he momentarily forgot to deny it.

But Tia became more and more convinced of this "fact".

Otherwise, why would Green reject her?

Why does he seem uninterested in her?

No man would behave like this.

Tia became more convinced and thought that this speculation was correct.

That means, in fact, Aloof...

Their relationship with Green...

Tia dared not think further.

This feeling is really unacceptable.

It's like your favorite goddess suddenly tells you one day that she's actually a man.

How is it?

Surprised?

Exciting?

Too surprised, too exciting, unbearable.

"It turns out that it has always been my wishful thinking. I'm sorry for causing you trouble..."

Tia lowered her head.

It seemed as if even the heavens couldn't bear to watch this "accident," and suddenly, heavy rain began to pour.

The rain flowed down Tia's cheeks, making it hard to tell whether it was tears or rainwater.

"I'm sorry for clinging to you forcefully. You never said it, but you really dislike me, don't you... I'm sorry, I... I just..."

I just simply want to get closer to you.

But Tia dared not say these words, afraid that Green would be frightened by them, just like if you were a man, and one day another man cried and told you he just wanted to get closer to you.

For someone with a normal sexual orientation, this would likely cause fear.

It's not strange at all.

Tia thought about this, which is why she didn't speak her mind.

Green's consistent reactions, the state of having no sexual interest in her despite being a man, and not getting angry when despised for his abilities in that aspect, all prove that Green is...

No, she is.

She is a girl!

Even if Tia could overcome this hurdle in her heart, she dare not gamble that Green would also accept it.

So, let this relationship, which was wrong from the beginning, end here.

"I'm sorry..."

Tia couldn't hold back anymore, she turned around and tried to run outside.

But as soon as she turned around and lifted her foot, she felt an irresistible force on her shoulder, pulling her back forcefully, and then Tia realized that she seemed to have bumped into someone.

She lifted her head with force, only to find that Green was holding her in his arms.

"Sorry, it should be me who should apologize."

"Huh?"

The cold rain hit both of them, but in the next second, these raindrops seemed to become sentient and fell around their body shapes on the ground.

To Tia's surprise, her clothes were already dry, she didn't know when it happened.

Not only that, after the raindrops fell on her clothes, they slid off by themselves,

as if something was blocking the rainwater.

It was at this moment that Tia felt a familiar feeling from Green's body.

Just like when Green held her hand and showed her a different perspective of the world.

That strange feeling still vividly lingered in her mind.

Accompanying that feeling was the strong power that brought a sense of security to her body and mind.

This was all just a simple manipulation of source energy by Green, magic could achieve the same effect.

But for Green, it was just a subconscious act.

Because holding Tia in his arms, the source energy in his body seemed to sense the master's mood and automatically protected the cute girl in his embrace.

Even if there were assassins attacking now, they would never be able to harm Tia.

"Why?"

Tia looked at Green puzzled, seeing a dull and lifeless look in his eyes, which made her feel disheartened.

"Why are you suddenly saying these things? Haven't you done anything to apologize to me... why?"

Tia asked "Why?" and just wanted to hear Green's answer.

Listening to the repeated "why" in his ear, Green didn't speak, but just held Tia tighter.

Being held so tightly by Green, Tia could even feel his heartbeat. Her face couldn't help but blush a bit, looking slightly shy and very pleasant.

Seeing that Green seemed reluctant to answer, Tia stopped asking and just quietly enjoyed the present moment.

Even though she knew Green's "true gender," this sense of security couldn't be deceiving.

Whether they were girls or boys, it didn't matter anymore.

Now, Tia just wanted to stay in this position with Green forever.

Because it made her feel very safe.

For a long time, a long time.

Until the pouring rain gradually turned into a drizzle.

After thinking for a long time, Green finally spoke up.

"Actually, Tia, I am a very terrible person."

"Huh? Why... would you say that?"

Not sure if it was an illusion, Tia suddenly felt that Green's body seemed to be trembling.

And this feeling became more and more obvious, gradually making her realize that it wasn't an illusion.

"I didn't have any friends since I was little, no parents, nothing. Compared to others, the only thing I had to make people envy was this power that awakened unexpectedly. I didn't receive any higher education either, at most I just got bored and casually flipped through some books that I didn't understand. When faced with any obstacles, my first thought was always to solve it with violence, like a lucky upstart.

-- In reality, I am just a very terrible man."

"..."

Tia instinctively widened her eyes, and the only emotion she could see on her lovely face was astonishment.

It seemed like she had never expected the person in front of her to say such things.

And it was understandable.

Green's powerful strength and casual demeanor didn't seem like the kind of man who would say such things.

However, Green's words didn't end there.

"Because I possessed this almost invincible power from a young age, I did many things that now seem extremely awful. Almost no one in the whole world could punish me. At that time, most people hated me, so I tried to change. Even until now, I have been trying to change my childhood mindset.

But in the end, I realized that I haven't really changed. The only difference now is that I am tired of the previous life, naturally forming a personality and way of dealing with things. Because I am often challenged by weaker people, I gradually lost interest in the weak. I only get excited occasionally when I meet someone strong.

And as for girls, because no one can control me, I don't feel anything for ordinary girls who might catch someone's eye. Even that kind of thing... because I was exposed to too much information when I was naive, I realized after coming to my senses that my desire for real-world girls has diminished.

Maybe this makes me look more mature, but deep down inside, I am very aware that all of this is just an illusion. I never really changed; I am just a villain who uses power without any effort. I can't say that I hate this confused version of myself, but I can't generate any positive feelings either."

The rain continued to fall, but it seemed to be getting weaker, as if it would stop soon.

Tia didn't say anything, she just hugged Green back and quietly listened to Green's innermost thoughts, the deep self-awareness that he deliberately ignored all this time.

Perhaps his words were influenced by emotions, but they were not fake.

Definitely not to make people think he was honest or anything like that.

But after seeing Tia's face, the negative self-awareness that Green has purposely locked away in the deepest part of his heart burst out without any restraints.

The reason is simple.

It all started from pondering a simple question.

"Tia, weren't you confused before, why it seemed like I had no interest in you?"

Tia softly hummed in response.

"That's because deep down inside, I have never wanted to admit that I, Green, am the worst of the worst men! The scummiest of all scumbags! Everything I do is just to cover up my inner insecurity! Even using the term 'scumbag' to describe me would be an insult to that word!"

"What... happened exactly?"

Green's behavior was unusual, which worried Tia.

Throughout their time together, Tia never thought of Green as a scumbag. He made her feel safe. So she was confused and wanted to know the answer.

Instead of explaining immediately, Green held onto Tia's arm even tighter, to the point where Tia felt uncomfortable, especially the pressure on her chest, which made her blush.

Fortunately, although Green seemed a bit off, he didn't lose control. After exerting some force, he relaxed his grip on her.

This behavior made Tia feel like Green was afraid of losing something. Could it be that he was afraid of losing her?

"There's something you should know. The reason I wanted to establish a country wasn't just for the sake of it. It was to hide my own insecurity by becoming a king and using that title to cover it up. I said the same thing to Aloof and the others for the same purpose."

"Do you mean Mio, Yuzuriha, Lilith, and Aloof? What did you say?"

"I openly told them that I wanted to marry many wives, including all of them. The reason I wanted to become a king was to become a nobleman and have the legal qualification to marry multiple wives. After making such shameless statements, I even privately called it the 'scumbag declaration,' as if by openly admitting it, I could have no psychological burden. But that's not the case at all. It's just self-deception. I was only saying things that only I know in my heart to cover up my own insecurities, and it didn't mean anything. But after meeting you, Tia, you made me realize this once again."

Tia's eyes moved as if she was pondering something.

But in the end, she didn't say anything, nor did her affection for Green turn into disgust because of his words.

She also knew that she couldn't escape from Green's embrace right now.

Suddenly, Green pushed Tia away a bit, allowing them to face each other in a more comfortable position.

Green fixed his gaze on Tia, without any avoidance. And after initially dodging her gaze a few times, Tia finally mustered the courage to meet Green's eyes.

She didn't know why she needed to summon the courage, as if it was something difficult.

Perhaps it was just because she was shy.

"Tia, I'm sorry that due to my personal reasons, I haven't directly responded to your feelings. But you gave me the courage to face my true self, so I thank you for that. And because of that, I've decided to marry you, even if it means using despicable, shameless, dirty, and hidden means!"

It felt like the burden of a giant boulder was suddenly lifted off a person, leaving them without any weight on their shoulders.

The feeling of lightness and relief engulfing their entire body couldn't be easily described in words.

After hearing Green's venomous words, Tia opened her small mouth in disbelief, staring at him in astonishment.

But Green smirked mischievously, not muttering to himself anymore, but confidently saying one last thing.

"—Anyway, I was already a scumbag to begin with!"

The rain had stopped.

Perhaps she would never forget this moment in her entire life. The sight of the young man who desperately tried to look like a bad person, but appeared ridiculously funny on his face.